"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

If you could have any job in the world...

Royal Ace

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2007
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76
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Gynecologist? Do you seriously want to see old women vaginas and infected ones on a daily routine? That would kill some of the fun haha


Has anyone of you seen Top Gear? Well that would be a dream job of mine hehe. Be a Tv host and to try all those kinds of cars and travel half the world!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Mistic

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2008
Messages
464
Reaction score
19
Location
Just beyond reach
A moderator for SoSuave. It's a great babysitting job, and you can ban anyone you want. :crackup:
 

Maxtro

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
Messages
3,198
Reaction score
31
Location
Kalifornicatia
Unrealistic dream job: Being a wandering adventurer/hero. Traveling with a group of friends going from village to village fighting for the people. Traveling the world fighting evil. Might even save the world once or twice during my adventurers. Heh I think I've played a bit too many RPG's.

Realistic dream job: I can't think of one in particular. All I know is that it has to pay extremely well, I "work" when I want, have lots of freedom and it's a low stress, high enjoyment job.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

PRMoon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2003
Messages
3,739
Reaction score
41
Age
45
Location
-777-Vegas-777-
I want to be Vice President of Nightlife Entertainment for the MGM Mirage Corperation. It's my dream profession and it's the passion that drives me. I love clubs and lounges and there's so much untapped money and potential in them. After Project city center is done, there will doubtlessly be another set of multi million dollar clubs packed into the metropolitin explosion epicenter known as las vegas blvd.

Ofcourse the position does not exist yet but there's always a possibility.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

speed dawg

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2006
Messages
4,735
Reaction score
1,223
Location
The Dirty South
Major League Baseball pitcher, you get 5 to 6 days off between outings.
 
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