If you aren't going forward, you are giong backwards

backbreaker

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samspade said:
Exactly my point. There are always variables. I know plenty of guys with professional ambition who know fukk-all about seducing and keeping women. Ambition is but one attractive quality in a man.
i honestly just believe from what i know of her and what my wife tells me that her tastes have just matured a little. things that she cared or were after at 22 are not the same so much at 26. she wants to get married sooner or later and have a faimly

lol now, if i put on my DJ cap for a minute, i can very well say that this new guy, is being used as an interestment to achieve a lifestyle she can't achieve herself. you are probably right lol. in other words he fits the marriage mold. But i don't see that is being a bad or wrong thing, but it is something he needs to "(the new guy) look for and make sure that she actually like shim for him and not for what she can do for him.

and i dont' get the golddigger vibe from her, but with that said, when you talk like that you are stuck in absolutes. every woman who wants a house and a picket fence is not a golddigger. I believe those are pretty reasonable exceptions to hold over a man.
 

Down Low

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Let's cut to the chase.

backbreaker said:
the girl is not a slut. she's done something quite slutty.
Carpenters do carpentry.
Bricklayers do bricklaying.
Smart people do smart things.
Stupid people do stupid things.
Slutty women do slutty things.

The guy has a job in a tough economy. He's doing fine. Nothing to criticize there.

Would owning a house prove that a man has his sh1t together? Not any more than having a BMW would. You're simply defining "having his sh1t together" as "owning many possessions." That's the way a slvt defines "having his sh1t together." That's not convincing. Not on this forum.

Maybe the guy is interested in quality women, not slvts. He just made a mistake in estimating the quality of his now ex-GF.
 

Findog

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backbreaker said:
i honestly just believe from what i know of her and what my wife tells me that her tastes have just matured a little
This is hilarious. Yes, "mature" is the first thing that comes to mind when reading about this chick. A guy with a supervisory position at a company in a local economy with double-digit employment "doesn't have his sh*t together." Rationalization hamster, much?
 

Burroughs

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backbreaker said:
every woman who wants a house and a picket fence is not a golddigger.
she is if she wants the man to pay for her house and picket fence :)

houses cost money and if she doesn't have the money she will have to 'dig' for it.
 

backbreaker

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Burroughs said:
she is if she wants the man to pay for her house and picket fence :)

houses cost money and if she doesn't have the money she will have to 'dig' for it.
see this is what i have a problem with. this right here. and i i know you don't mean anything buy it, but you can't have it both ways. you can't blame a woman for spending her 20's on her education and putting men off to put her career ahead then at the same time, **** on a woman who does not bother with these men and looks for men to provide it. in that case you are just ****ting on women in general lol. that covers just about all of them.

I mean if you think womens should financial equsals, that's fine, but you have to also take what comes with that. the not wanting to cook when you get home all the time the long hours at work the business trips, the 50 hour work weeks. this isn't a fvcking buffet you just can't pick and chose what you want to put on the plate lol.

and honeslty i don't care what you pick. i really don't. to each his own. you just can't pick both at the same time is all i am saying. either you give a **** or youd on't.

me, my wife coudlnt' afford this house we live in if it not for me. she couldn't' even think about affording it. i don't' give a ****. i really don't. i don't care what she finaically brings to the table. i don't care about her.. well she's my wife i care but in the sense that it's not what is important to me. her being a mother and a great wife and taking care of me trumps all of that to me. that's to me.

but you can't.. it' just fustrtes me just guys jsut *****ing for the sake of *****ing. pick a god damn side and stick with it. either you want a woman for her looks and being a great woman or you want someone who can help you achieve the financial status lifestyle.. but you can't **** on both at the same time. you can't out of one side of your mouth ***** about feminish, then on the other side of your mouth ***** about women who perscribe to the old way of doing things, who look for a man to provide things. you **** on one for trying to be a proivder then you **** on the other for looking for a provider

the difference between a golddigger and a regular woman to me is not the liking of money. every one likes money or just about. the difference is that a gold digger likes JUST money and is willing to overlook serious flaws in a man to get it. but you can't just go around calling every woman who likes a man who works hard a fvckign gold digger. it's not going to get you anywhere in your own life with women.

and honestly i'm not even taking up for her. **** i'm not fvcking her i dont' care. but jsut.. the butthurt on this forum sometimes is out of control grow the fvck up men. half of you are doing the same **** women do when they get pissed. half the guys on this forum have no problem *****ing about fat women being princesses yet not wanting to lose weight to get attractive men., yet will sit here and ride to the mothervcking end telling themselves that any woman who likes a man with a little money over a man without any money is a ***** or a slut. it's and are to fvckign stupid to see it's the exact same fvcking thing. if you do not want to be shamed into dating a war pig why should a woman be shamed in wanting a man with more means? i don't want to date a fat woman no more trhan the avg woman wants to date a broke man. WTF is "mature" about calling a woman who is on the downside of 25 who wants a man who might be able to provide a more comfortable life for her a slut or a goldigger. lol not even a spectacular lifestyle. guy has his own loft and drives a beamer. the ex has 2 room mates and has a beat up ass car. she fvcked this dude for 4 years and in 4 years the dude has not made anything resembling an effort to get his ass together and you have "DJ's" here claiming from the trees to call her a slut. this is the same guy a year or a year a half ago I did a favor and hired to do some design work, he draws and honestly draws quite well, and i have people that can take his drawings and program them into websites. that's how we gt some of our more creative design work. motherfvcker couldn't even do that. so you have to excuse me for not crying a river the guy is fvcking lazy.

here is a fvcking pill that the majority of you need to swallow; you cannot hold yourself to a lower standard than you hold the women you want to, otherwise you will never get anywhere here. you will continue to rack up posts and not get laid. you will continue to get theory and no practice. because it doesn't make fvcking sense. you can't ***** when a woman that you deem desirable picks what she deems as her best option. you can't ***** when a fit and sexy woman demands her man is fit and sexy. you can't ***** when a legit hb8 woman demands a hb8 man in return. you can either step up to thep late or lower your stanards, those are your only 2 real life options. *****ing about how the world is not fair is not going to get yo any clsoer to getting your knob polished on a constant basis.
 
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Burroughs

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backbreaker said:
me, my wife coudlnt' afford this house we live in if it not for me. she couldn't' even think about affording it. i don't' give a ****. i really don't. i don't care what she finaically brings to the table. i don't care about her.. well she's my wife i care but in the sense that it's not what is important to me. her being a mother and a great wife and taking care of me trumps all of that to me. that's to me.
So if your wife were to meet a richer dude (because that never happens), decides she no longer wants to take care of you, divorces you, takes the house, and you have to pay the mortgage/alimony for the next 20 years in a house you can't live in...that would be ok?
 

backbreaker

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Burroughs said:
So if your wife were to meet a richer dude (because that never happens), decides she no longer wants to take care of you, divorces you, takes the house, and you have to pay the mortgage/alimony for the next 20 years in a house you can't live in...that would be ok?
she could not take the house because owned it outright before we married.

dont' worry about me and mine i got this over here. and don't toss around ad hominem attacks because your panties are in a bunch.

i am just sick and got damn tired of reading the fvcking hypocrisy on this forum. people who would rather ***** about how the world is not fair or how women dont' do what they think they shoudl do yet take no defensive action to do anything themselves.

I need to cool off beucase i'm getting pissed.

i am here to help people. i don't need any fvckign advice. if she leaves i'll deal with it. just like i have dealt with everything else in life. that's the decision i made when i put a ring on her finger and i will deal with that as life throws it at me.

But the AFC logic that hey my wife might leave me if she likes a man with more money therefore all women should not like men with money, that that **** to loveshack

I just do not like dealing with igrnoant popele it pisses me off more than anything else and there are a buch of ignoraant pepole on this forum who don't want to understand who don't want tog et better,they want to whine. I';m not the fvcking one.

people like you are the scum of men. you don't like men who have done something with their lives. you don't like women who like men who have done something witht heir lives. you dont' like marriage. you don't like anyone who does anything that resembles action or taking a chance. life is full of fvcking chances. you talk yourself into a shell of non action. you play from the sidelines. you feel more comrotable *****ing about married people than dating someone, actually falling in love and getting married. you feel more comfortable ****ting on women who like men with money then actualy going out working your ass off, failing,kgk etting rejected and trying it yourself.


instead of learning how to play the game you have talked yourself out of playing the game altogether. you are no fvcking different then the dork in high school who talks **** about the girls that likes the jocks, or the fat woman who *****es about why all the men like hot skinny women you are just using a different dialect now. having the words master don juan by your name is an insult to everyone else here.

when is the last time you cold approached a woman you saw attractive.. rotfl wait let me guess "day game is dead, women have too many options". rotfl

but at the end of the day the last laugh is on you because you will be misreable. you can't play life form the sidelines. that's from me to you brah. you and a few others on here.
 

Burroughs

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backbreaker said:
she could not take the house because owned it outright before we married.

dont' worry about me and mine i got this over here. and don't toss around ad hominem attacks because your panties are in a bunch.
.
ad hominen attack? just an analogy that you got VERY sensitive about...hmmm, you're the only one with your panties in a bunch lol.
 

Findog

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But the AFC logic that hey my wife might leave me if she likes a man with more money therefore all women should not like men with money, that that **** to loveshack
Nobody here has said anything like that. Nobody is denying that women value financial security in men or that it is even unfair that they do. It's part of the terrain. If you don't have a steady job, if you don't give off the appearance that you're going places in life, then you had better be a musician, have the body of Jason Statham and the face of Tom Brady, or have some other hook. Men prize youth and beauty, women prize security and strength. If you're a man and you have any experience at all in dealing with women, then you are well aware that they take your financial/employment/provider potential into account when sizing you up as a potential mate. For some women it may be the first thing they look at. For others, it's a factor but far from the most important. Not one person in this thread is complaining about that, so take the strawman elsewhere.

I think what some people in this thread are objecting to is this idea that it is defensible for this woman to branch swing under the circumstances. Not everybody shares your amoral "The only thing that matters is my happiness and if other people are collateral damage so be it" take on relationships. If I were married for 15 years, had a couple of kids with my wife, and through ups and downs in a LTR I felt like she was generally doing her best to keep up her end of the bargain, I would not divorce her if I had a chance to get some hot 25 year old trophy wife. Her happiness and needs would count for something with me. If I'm single and a hot chick with a boyfriend starts making a play for me, I would not bother trying to steal her from him because A) she's shown herself to be a wh*re whose loyalty is for sale and up for grabs, and B) I wouldn't want that done to me and I can sympathize with another guy getting cuckolded.

This amoral "My needs are #1 and whoever is in my path needs to get out of the way" seems to be your attitude and ethos on relationships, to each his own, but don't get pissy just because other people don't share it. Unless you left out details, it doesn't sound like the guy completely took his foot off the gas and got fat, or sat around playing video games and neglected her. If I'm generally holding up my end of the bargain, then I would expect my woman to show some loyalty. I think most women would if you were doing your best and not easing up in the relationship and getting fat and satisfied. And then there are the branch swingers that treat relationships the same way they do employment. The moment another guy comes along that on paper seems like a bigger, better deal, they are out the door. They have no concept of relationship equity. I want nothing to do with those kinds of women.


Maybe there are details you omitted, but I'm not even sure from reading the story that it's the guy's job status that is at issue. It sounds like she got bored after four years and probably is craving the rush and excitement of something new.
 

samspade

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BB,

I think you're trying to make a valid point with a poor example. We should all aspire to improve our lives in the ways we want to. Professional, personal whatever.

And make no mistake - women will at some point ask "where is this going" and evaluate you based on her ambitions - read: to get married and have kids. That means security, and that means money. Nothing wrong with that at all, and that's when you fish or cut bait, right? Their ships were not sailing in the same direction.

This woman in question was a poor example. Did she broach the subject with her boyfriend? Did she ascertain whether he was happy with his job? Did she discuss marriage etc? I don't know if she did but it sounds to me like she branch-swung without dumping this guy first.

Yes hypergamy happens. But so does slvttiness.

Yes if you're not moving forward you're moving backward. But YOU define forward, not her. If a man loves his job at a restaurant and his woman presses him to do something else, he's got a choice to make. Staying with a job you love is not stagnation; there are other ways to move forward, with or without her. That's how I see it.
 

cordoncordon

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backbreaker said:
i honestly just believe from what i know of her and what my wife tells me that her tastes have just matured a little. things that she cared or were after at 22 are not the same so much at 26. she wants to get married sooner or later and have a faimly

lol now, if i put on my DJ cap for a minute, i can very well say that this new guy, is being used as an interestment to achieve a lifestyle she can't achieve herself. you are probably right lol. in other words he fits the marriage mold. But i don't see that is being a bad or wrong thing, but it is something he needs to "(the new guy) look for and make sure that she actually like shim for him and not for what she can do for him.

and i dont' get the golddigger vibe from her, but with that said, when you talk like that you are stuck in absolutes. every woman who wants a house and a picket fence is not a golddigger. I believe those are pretty reasonable exceptions to hold over a man.
BB Im sorry but you can't defend this woman. Lets cut to the chase. She stayed with her bf while cheating on him with another guy, ALL so she won't ruin her living situation, and did not have the guts to break up with him until she was caught. There is just no getting around that that is low class and it pretty much tells me all I need to know about her character.

That being said, I applaud your decision to keep her out of your house for a month. Since you are friends with the ex as well, it just is not a cool thing to do to have him over and to show him hospitality right now.
 

cordoncordon

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backbreaker said:
see this is what i have a problem with. this right here. and i i know you don't mean anything buy it, but you can't have it both ways. you can't blame a woman for spending her 20's on her education and putting men off to put her career ahead then at the same time, **** on a woman who does not bother with these men and looks for men to provide it. in that case you are just ****ting on women in general lol. that covers just about all of them.

I mean if you think womens should financial equsals, that's fine, but you have to also take what comes with that. the not wanting to cook when you get home all the time the long hours at work the business trips, the 50 hour work weeks. this isn't a fvcking buffet you just can't pick and chose what you want to put on the plate lol.

and honeslty i don't care what you pick. i really don't. to each his own. you just can't pick both at the same time is all i am saying. either you give a **** or youd on't.

me, my wife coudlnt' afford this house we live in if it not for me. she couldn't' even think about affording it. i don't' give a ****. i really don't. i don't care what she finaically brings to the table. i don't care about her.. well she's my wife i care but in the sense that it's not what is important to me. her being a mother and a great wife and taking care of me trumps all of that to me. that's to me.

but you can't.. it' just fustrtes me just guys jsut *****ing for the sake of *****ing. pick a god damn side and stick with it. either you want a woman for her looks and being a great woman or you want someone who can help you achieve the financial status lifestyle.. but you can't **** on both at the same time. you can't out of one side of your mouth ***** about feminish, then on the other side of your mouth ***** about women who perscribe to the old way of doing things, who look for a man to provide things. you **** on one for trying to be a proivder then you **** on the other for looking for a provider

the difference between a golddigger and a regular woman to me is not the liking of money. every one likes money or just about. the difference is that a gold digger likes JUST money and is willing to overlook serious flaws in a man to get it. but you can't just go around calling every woman who likes a man who works hard a fvckign gold digger. it's not going to get you anywhere in your own life with women.

and honestly i'm not even taking up for her. **** i'm not fvcking her i dont' care. but jsut.. the butthurt on this forum sometimes is out of control grow the fvck up men. half of you are doing the same **** women do when they get pissed. half the guys on this forum have no problem *****ing about fat women being princesses yet not wanting to lose weight to get attractive men., yet will sit here and ride to the mothervcking end telling themselves that any woman who likes a man with a little money over a man without any money is a ***** or a slut. it's and are to fvckign stupid to see it's the exact same fvcking thing. if you do not want to be shamed into dating a war pig why should a woman be shamed in wanting a man with more means? i don't want to date a fat woman no more trhan the avg woman wants to date a broke man. WTF is "mature" about calling a woman who is on the downside of 25 who wants a man who might be able to provide a more comfortable life for her a slut or a goldigger. lol not even a spectacular lifestyle. guy has his own loft and drives a beamer. the ex has 2 room mates and has a beat up ass car. she fvcked this dude for 4 years and in 4 years the dude has not made anything resembling an effort to get his ass together and you have "DJ's" here claiming from the trees to call her a slut. this is the same guy a year or a year a half ago I did a favor and hired to do some design work, he draws and honestly draws quite well, and i have people that can take his drawings and program them into websites. that's how we gt some of our more creative design work. motherfvcker couldn't even do that. so you have to excuse me for not crying a river the guy is fvcking lazy.

here is a fvcking pill that the majority of you need to swallow; you cannot hold yourself to a lower standard than you hold the women you want to, otherwise you will never get anywhere here. you will continue to rack up posts and not get laid. you will continue to get theory and no practice. because it doesn't make fvcking sense. you can't ***** when a woman that you deem desirable picks what she deems as her best option. you can't ***** when a fit and sexy woman demands her man is fit and sexy. you can't ***** when a legit hb8 woman demands a hb8 man in return. you can either step up to thep late or lower your stanards, those are your only 2 real life options. *****ing about how the world is not fair is not going to get yo any clsoer to getting your knob polished on a constant basis.
BB it really has nothing to do with that. If this women was single and met this guy and they started dating, then more power to her. Hope they get married and have 3 kids and a house and the white picket fence. But what you are saying is you are almost making it seem alright for a women to leave her long term bf if she finds someone else who makes more money and can give her the 5 bedroom house instead of the 2 bedroom house. You are making it all about money and material things. And what I am some others are saying is if a woman does leave a guy for the next biggest thing, she is not a woman worth having. If she had broken up with this guy 3 months ago because she was just not happy with how the guy was and how things are going before she met this new guy? Then fine. But to do it this way? There is just no defending it imo.
 

cordoncordon

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backbreaker said:
she could not take the house because owned it outright before we married.

dont' worry about me and mine i got this over here. and don't toss around ad hominem attacks because your panties are in a bunch.

i am just sick and got damn tired of reading the fvcking hypocrisy on this forum. people who would rather ***** about how the world is not fair or how women dont' do what they think they shoudl do yet take no defensive action to do anything themselves.

I need to cool off beucase i'm getting pissed.

i am here to help people. i don't need any fvckign advice. if she leaves i'll deal with it. just like i have dealt with everything else in life. that's the decision i made when i put a ring on her finger and i will deal with that as life throws it at me.

But the AFC logic that hey my wife might leave me if she likes a man with more money therefore all women should not like men with money, that that **** to loveshack

I just do not like dealing with igrnoant popele it pisses me off more than anything else and there are a buch of ignoraant pepole on this forum who don't want to understand who don't want tog et better,they want to whine. I';m not the fvcking one.

people like you are the scum of men. you don't like men who have done something with their lives. you don't like women who like men who have done something witht heir lives. you dont' like marriage. you don't like anyone who does anything that resembles action or taking a chance. life is full of fvcking chances. you talk yourself into a shell of non action. you play from the sidelines. you feel more comrotable *****ing about married people than dating someone, actually falling in love and getting married. you feel more comfortable ****ting on women who like men with money then actualy going out working your ass off, failing,kgk etting rejected and trying it yourself.


instead of learning how to play the game you have talked yourself out of playing the game altogether. you are no fvcking different then the dork in high school who talks **** about the girls that likes the jocks, or the fat woman who *****es about why all the men like hot skinny women you are just using a different dialect now. having the words master don juan by your name is an insult to everyone else here.

when is the last time you cold approached a woman you saw attractive.. rotfl wait let me guess "day game is dead, women have too many options". rotfl

but at the end of the day the last laugh is on you because you will be misreable. you can't play life form the sidelines. that's from me to you brah. you and a few others on here.

BB you are losing it again lol. You do this about once a year, disappear for 6 months, and then come back again. Don't take it so personally. You are not always going to be right and not everyone is going to agree with you 100% of the time.
 

donking

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I love backbreaker's posts usually cuz he is such a badass. But no defending a cheating ho!
 

Jitterbug

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Some people think getting more money / ambitious simply means changing to another job.

A female friend of mine dated a guy who managed a fancy high end restaurant at a similar age to this fella in bb's story. He was making big bucks, and aiming to own a similar restaurant or even a chain. More ambitious than our guy, yes?

Well, his girl cheated on him with a zero ambition uni student bum, because her boyfriend never had any time for her, as he was too busy being ambitious.

lololololzzzzzzz
 

backbreaker

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i'm not even mad at anyone here.

I am mad at myself.

i just realized something today.

just about everyone ont his forum fvckign sucks. and i have become a shell of who i am becuase i start comparing myself to people and not comparing myself to my goals and i stop chasing my goals and i hate myself for it. but then i feel better because i can compare my self to all the lazy women hating beta males on this forum and pat myself on the back, but i can't lie to myself anymore.

this site, i got a lot here and it ried to fight the good fight and help others out but it's doing me much more harm than good. i have settled. not for my wife. I mean just in life. I have **** i want to do. **** i want to work on and i keep putting it off or half doing it and everyone pats me on the back becuase i have al itlte money or i have a nice house or a good looking wife **** all that **** man. i'm tired of being patted on the back for not trying. and i hate it. it's not me. it's not wired anywhere in my DNA to settle. even if it mean losing my wife, even if it means losing every fvcking material thing i have, i would rather go broke and homeless and womanless than to be.. what most of you are now. sorry to put it that way but that's the only way i can. waking up every day making excuses blaming, rationalizing. i can't do it. i won't do it. and i don't like what i have become.

i don't give a **** about this girl any different than any of the other hb 7.5's in California though i know her. i don't care if she wanted to fvck mr t, though that woudl make for an interesting post. but just.. the excuse making, the bickering, the rationalizing, the self righteous self absurdness of most of you here is pathetic. grow the fvck up, roll up your sleaves put on some boxing gloves and your big boy underwear and get to fvcking work.

i gotta go.
 

cordoncordon

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backbreaker said:
i'm not even mad at anyone here.

I am mad at myself.

i just realized something today.

just about everyone ont his forum fvckign sucks. and i have become a shell of who i am becuase i start comparing myself to people and not comparing myself to my goals and i stop chasing my goals and i hate myself for it. but then i feel better because i can compare my self to all the lazy women hating beta males on this forum and pat myself on the back, but i can't lie to myself anymore.

this site, i got a lot here and it ried to fight the good fight and help others out but it's doing me much more harm than good. i have settled. not for my wife. I mean just in life. I have **** i want to do. **** i want to work on and i keep putting it off or half doing it and everyone pats me on the back becuase i have al itlte money or i have a nice house or a good looking wife **** all that **** man. i'm tired of being patted on the back for not trying. and i hate it. it's not me. it's not wired anywhere in my DNA to settle. even if it mean losing my wife, even if it means losing every fvcking material thing i have, i would rather go broke and homeless and womanless than to be.. what most of you are now. sorry to put it that way but that's the only way i can. waking up every day making excuses blaming, rationalizing. i can't do it. i won't do it. and i don't like what i have become.

i don't give a **** about this girl any different than any of the other hb 7.5's in California though i know her. i don't care if she wanted to fvck mr t, though that woudl make for an interesting post. but just.. the excuse making, the bickering, the rationalizing, the self righteous self absurdness of most of you here is pathetic. grow the fvck up, roll up your sleaves put on some boxing gloves and your big boy underwear and get to fvcking work.

i gotta go.
Andddddddd.......there he goes again......only to return in 6 months. :) I think this is the 5th or 6th time now I remember BB doing this.

BB, you offer lots of good advice and you seem like a good guy. But wow do you have some internal issues that probably go back to your drug days and still haunt you to this day. It's just a website man. Chill the F out. I honestly have no idea what you are even upset about. Really. I know some here in this thread disagree with some of what you had to say in your post, but why are you taking it so personally? No one went after you as a person. You cannot be that thin skinned. If you are that sensitive over a freaking website...well I don't even know where to begin man.


Post here.....or don't.
 
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Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
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It's that time of the year again for bb.
 

Burroughs

Master Don Juan
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damn backbreaker get better tampons crying like fvckin' faggot cause no one agrees with your diatribes
 

headFirst

Don Juan
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I agree with BackBreaker.. You build the kingdom you live in.. You can't meet someone and expect to keep them around by staying static while the other person is looking to move up in life.. You only live once. Why should she stay with the guy to avoid hurting his feelings? If you had a nice average house you lived in for 10 yrs.. you were happy there but then suddenly you won 250 million dollars. You think you'd stay in that house for the rest of your life because it gave you good memories? No because a bigger happier opportunity arose to do better..
 
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