"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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If she's sincerely busy?

curiousguy

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Ok I need some advice, here. This girl I just met is definitely not the only one I'm seeing, but she's a hottie and I actually like what I saw of her.

Anyway, after talking to her for a while I asked her if she wanted to go clubbing with me. She seemed enthused. I got her number... but then she said she's going to be busy working the next 2 weekends (she works in a hospital).

This is mixed signals for me. Usually I'd immediately take this as an excuse not to go out and will take the hint and move on. But this one confused me because:

1. Most the entire time talking she was laughing.. had good body language... was even good on disclosure.. offered a lot about her and wanted to know a good bit about me.

2. She seemed really excited about learning where to go clubbing in the area (she moved here recently).

3. She looked sincere and not just being polite.. she wanted to show me her work schedule but I refused... this isn't a doctor's appointment. But, she did offer!

4. I did get her phone number... why all the trouble to simply stay away from me?

In case anybody's wondering... No, I didn't mess up anything up or do anything weird towards the end. Everything was usual and going well. So, what's the verdict? What do I do here... wait? Call her before the 2 weeks anyway? Move on?

Thanks!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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seagull

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Pick a date when she is available and do something other than clubbing if it isn't the right time of night for that.
 

curiousguy

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Thanks seagull... any other takers? I'm kind of curious what this behavior means... if it all turns out to be a waste of time, I'd rather know what happened so I don't put myself in that position again.
 

Obsidian

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if you really think she's being sincere, which it sounds like she probably is, then ask her out somewhere else for a different night. Otherwise, wait two weeks and ask her out on a weekend that she's free (and in the meantime, hit on other girls).
 

seagull

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curiousguy said:
Thanks seagull... any other takers? I'm kind of curious what this behavior means... if it all turns out to be a waste of time, I'd rather know what happened so I don't put myself in that position again.
Maybe she has a life, you can't expect her to drop everything for you at the drop of a hat if you've only just met her! Just work your way around this, you don't want to "next" her if you're not sure!
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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mrRuckus

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curiousguy said:
3. She looked sincere and not just being polite.. she wanted to show me her work schedule but I refused... this isn't a doctor's appointment. But, she did offer!
Yeah it's a much better idea to act like a tough guy with tough guy rules and come here and ask us to read her mind than to spend 2 minutes figuring out what day you two can get together.

I dated a nurse for a while. My mom works in a hospital. They have funny schedules.
 

Docs

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I work 18 hour days sometimes. Completely variable. The only way I can guarentee time with me is if you book ahead a minimum week and hope to crap nothing important comes up.

Same deal :)
 

curiousguy

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mrRuckus said:
Yeah it's a much better idea to act like a tough guy with tough guy rules and come here and ask us to read her mind than to spend 2 minutes figuring out what day you two can get together.

I dated a nurse for a while. My mom works in a hospital. They have funny schedules.
Touche! But I was acting on instinct more than rationale. Good stuff. Thanks!
 
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