"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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If she's sincerely busy?

curiousguy

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Ok I need some advice, here. This girl I just met is definitely not the only one I'm seeing, but she's a hottie and I actually like what I saw of her.

Anyway, after talking to her for a while I asked her if she wanted to go clubbing with me. She seemed enthused. I got her number... but then she said she's going to be busy working the next 2 weekends (she works in a hospital).

This is mixed signals for me. Usually I'd immediately take this as an excuse not to go out and will take the hint and move on. But this one confused me because:

1. Most the entire time talking she was laughing.. had good body language... was even good on disclosure.. offered a lot about her and wanted to know a good bit about me.

2. She seemed really excited about learning where to go clubbing in the area (she moved here recently).

3. She looked sincere and not just being polite.. she wanted to show me her work schedule but I refused... this isn't a doctor's appointment. But, she did offer!

4. I did get her phone number... why all the trouble to simply stay away from me?

In case anybody's wondering... No, I didn't mess up anything up or do anything weird towards the end. Everything was usual and going well. So, what's the verdict? What do I do here... wait? Call her before the 2 weeks anyway? Move on?

Thanks!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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seagull

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Pick a date when she is available and do something other than clubbing if it isn't the right time of night for that.
 

curiousguy

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Thanks seagull... any other takers? I'm kind of curious what this behavior means... if it all turns out to be a waste of time, I'd rather know what happened so I don't put myself in that position again.
 

Obsidian

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if you really think she's being sincere, which it sounds like she probably is, then ask her out somewhere else for a different night. Otherwise, wait two weeks and ask her out on a weekend that she's free (and in the meantime, hit on other girls).
 

seagull

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curiousguy said:
Thanks seagull... any other takers? I'm kind of curious what this behavior means... if it all turns out to be a waste of time, I'd rather know what happened so I don't put myself in that position again.
Maybe she has a life, you can't expect her to drop everything for you at the drop of a hat if you've only just met her! Just work your way around this, you don't want to "next" her if you're not sure!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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mrRuckus

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curiousguy said:
3. She looked sincere and not just being polite.. she wanted to show me her work schedule but I refused... this isn't a doctor's appointment. But, she did offer!
Yeah it's a much better idea to act like a tough guy with tough guy rules and come here and ask us to read her mind than to spend 2 minutes figuring out what day you two can get together.

I dated a nurse for a while. My mom works in a hospital. They have funny schedules.
 

Docs

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I work 18 hour days sometimes. Completely variable. The only way I can guarentee time with me is if you book ahead a minimum week and hope to crap nothing important comes up.

Same deal :)
 

curiousguy

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mrRuckus said:
Yeah it's a much better idea to act like a tough guy with tough guy rules and come here and ask us to read her mind than to spend 2 minutes figuring out what day you two can get together.

I dated a nurse for a while. My mom works in a hospital. They have funny schedules.
Touche! But I was acting on instinct more than rationale. Good stuff. Thanks!
 
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