"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

If she's sincerely busy?

curiousguy

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2007
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Ok I need some advice, here. This girl I just met is definitely not the only one I'm seeing, but she's a hottie and I actually like what I saw of her.

Anyway, after talking to her for a while I asked her if she wanted to go clubbing with me. She seemed enthused. I got her number... but then she said she's going to be busy working the next 2 weekends (she works in a hospital).

This is mixed signals for me. Usually I'd immediately take this as an excuse not to go out and will take the hint and move on. But this one confused me because:

1. Most the entire time talking she was laughing.. had good body language... was even good on disclosure.. offered a lot about her and wanted to know a good bit about me.

2. She seemed really excited about learning where to go clubbing in the area (she moved here recently).

3. She looked sincere and not just being polite.. she wanted to show me her work schedule but I refused... this isn't a doctor's appointment. But, she did offer!

4. I did get her phone number... why all the trouble to simply stay away from me?

In case anybody's wondering... No, I didn't mess up anything up or do anything weird towards the end. Everything was usual and going well. So, what's the verdict? What do I do here... wait? Call her before the 2 weeks anyway? Move on?

Thanks!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

seagull

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
280
Reaction score
1
Pick a date when she is available and do something other than clubbing if it isn't the right time of night for that.
 

curiousguy

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2007
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
Thanks seagull... any other takers? I'm kind of curious what this behavior means... if it all turns out to be a waste of time, I'd rather know what happened so I don't put myself in that position again.
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 17, 2006
Messages
2,554
Reaction score
26
Location
TN
if you really think she's being sincere, which it sounds like she probably is, then ask her out somewhere else for a different night. Otherwise, wait two weeks and ask her out on a weekend that she's free (and in the meantime, hit on other girls).
 

seagull

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
280
Reaction score
1
curiousguy said:
Thanks seagull... any other takers? I'm kind of curious what this behavior means... if it all turns out to be a waste of time, I'd rather know what happened so I don't put myself in that position again.
Maybe she has a life, you can't expect her to drop everything for you at the drop of a hat if you've only just met her! Just work your way around this, you don't want to "next" her if you're not sure!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

mrRuckus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2005
Messages
4,382
Reaction score
85
curiousguy said:
3. She looked sincere and not just being polite.. she wanted to show me her work schedule but I refused... this isn't a doctor's appointment. But, she did offer!
Yeah it's a much better idea to act like a tough guy with tough guy rules and come here and ask us to read her mind than to spend 2 minutes figuring out what day you two can get together.

I dated a nurse for a while. My mom works in a hospital. They have funny schedules.
 

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,571
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
I work 18 hour days sometimes. Completely variable. The only way I can guarentee time with me is if you book ahead a minimum week and hope to crap nothing important comes up.

Same deal :)
 

curiousguy

New Member
Joined
Apr 14, 2007
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
mrRuckus said:
Yeah it's a much better idea to act like a tough guy with tough guy rules and come here and ask us to read her mind than to spend 2 minutes figuring out what day you two can get together.

I dated a nurse for a while. My mom works in a hospital. They have funny schedules.
Touche! But I was acting on instinct more than rationale. Good stuff. Thanks!
 
Top