"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ideas for 3rd date

Mtrain

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hey fellow DJs!

need your input for this 3rd date I plan on going on probably next week.. Went out with this girl once for dinner and once for lunch already. I think her interest level is about 60%, I wanna try to get that up higher... I haven't called or emailed her too much, I talk to her about once a week... She says she's into concerts, comedy show, broadway shows, but not really into sports.. I want to do something fun and exciting, and hopefully raise her interest level more in me.. which activities would you guys stick with?? she said that she wouldn't mind going to see a basketball game, I have tickets to see the Knicks next week, you think I should ask her to go?? Or should I try the broadway show with her?? Thanks..
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Soprano

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it sounds like you've already made two steps foward with lunch and dinner... now try one step back
 

Mtrain

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Thanks Soprano! could you elaborate on that? should I just go for a drink now with her or something? I guess what you trying to say is don't go for the expensive event yet? I called her up this past Saturday, just to wish her a happy birthday.. I told her I was going to be busy meeting up with some friends.. Trying to utilize the "Scarcity principle" :D
 

xblitz44x

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I don't think dinner or lunch were mistakes. I've gone out on dinner dates probably 50 times by now and that hasn't influenced the direction of the relationship for better or worse.

Since she flat-out told you that she doesn't like sports, I'd avoid the Knick game. I thought that would go without saying but apparently not. Since she said she likes comedy, take her to a comedy show. Get the beer flowing a little bit to loosen her up. If she is laughing, and drinking, and the date is going well, tell her that you guys should rent a movie and relax the rest of the night. Then, make your move.

Blitz
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Mtrain

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thanks guys... I will keep the comedy show, and mall idea in mind.. She doesn't like the cold weather so I definitely won't do ice skating or hiking...
 
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