Ideal scenario given the situation?

[BeTheChange]

Plate I've been seeing has flown out to Africa to work in some NGO project.

She declares her love for me and wants to be in anLTR.

I say no chance unless she can see me frequently (e.g. at least once a month)

She says there's no way she can get back before January. I reject her.

She comes back by saying I can see other people. I know this implies she too can see other people so I'm honest and say that's cool but that Id have significantly less motivation to see her again...because if she's screwing round then she's just another plate so why bother with all the other obligations of a relationship. She claims she isn't interested in anyone else but me. I laugh.

She complains that my need for sex isn't real. If she can hold out so can I. I'm not phased in the slightest. Eventually she relents and agrees to the only scenario id be content with as far as an LDR is concerned.

She stays celibate while I can unemotionally fvck other women until January.

Not naive enough to assume she'll necessarily stick to this but she's actually a well adjusted attractive woman so I must be doing something right.

 

[BeTheChange]

A web of lies basically

Perhaps. However I don't see how someone with genuine interest would have behaved differently.

 

[BeTheChange]

I think it shows a sense of desperation and lack of self esteem and self respect on her end. Her interest is high of course.

So in your mind how would a high interest "good quality" woman have responded? Ending things and hoping she could find a new guy on my level in Africa?

If you're high quality enough chicks will be desperate to keep you so that's not a problem. Self esteem seems ok to me but early days so hard to tell.

She basically had two choices. Go the single route and risk losing me to another woman or concede and give me everything needed to keep me content till next year.

 

[Julian]

honestly bro you should play this on that bad boy romantic movie type sht...

"look babe, your all the way in fukkin africa, im here in the great United States of America...this just isnt going to work now...maybe when you come back things can be different? Who's to say...but all I know is whats meant to be will be." Then you go slow NC on her and keep fukkin other chicks...you should have never had that relationship convo with her. always keep things vague.

 

[BeTheChange]

I can smash other girls. She stays "celibate". Think I'm good. Win win even if she breaks her vows.

 

[Meektrop]

Imo fvcking other b1tches is a given but it should have been a silent one... This will come back to bite you If you pursue an LTR

 

[Asasione]

I can smash other girls. She stays "celibate". Think I'm good. Win win even if she breaks her vows.

Not sure why you even asked for opinions when everything seems to be set up perfect

 

[BeTheChange]

Imo fvcking other b1tches is a given but it should have been a silent one... This will come back to bite you If you pursue an LTR

True. I played that card because I assumed it would motivate her to actually fly back more regularly (e.g. in September and October). But it turns out she can't legally leave the country until January...oops!

I'm considering telling her that I'm going to be loyal so that she doesn't have my "allowed infidelity" as something to hang over my head x months / years from now - assuming she's still a plate - and then just low key banging other girls anyway.

 

[Meektrop]

True. I played that card because I assumed it would motivate her to actually fly back more regularly (e.g. in September and October). But it turns out she can't legally leave the country until January...oops!

I'm considering telling her that I'm going to be loyal so that she doesn't have my "allowed infidelity" as something to hang over my head x months / years from now - assuming she's still a plate - and then just low key banging other girls anyway.

There you go. Good luck brother

 

[BeExcellent]

True. I played that card because I assumed it would motivate her to actually fly back more regularly (e.g. in September and October). But it turns out she can't legally leave the country until January...oops!

I'm considering telling her that I'm going to be loyal so that she doesn't have my "allowed infidelity" as something to hang over my head x months / years from now - assuming she's still a plate - and then just low key banging other girls anyway.

She is not over time going to like the arrangement of you having sex with whoever & her not getting to. She may say she is cool with it, but if she's a genuinely worthwhile girl the inequity is going to bother her, I assure you. It will say all the wrong things about you to her, such as you don't respect her, don't care about her health, are incapable of loyalty & think random sex is more important than her.

She will resent it over time, which is not good, and she will have lots of time to think about all the poor reflections on YOU such a demand broadcasts.

I think it's best to remain non-committal now and let her know y'all can reassess when she gets back. If it's still a mutual attraction when she returns that's a good thing.

I would not advise lying. A worthwhile girl will simply drop you & move on for lying & continuing to screw other girls. She will know sooner or later.

Obviously you risk losing her. Price of admission.

 

[BeTheChange]

She is not over time going to like the arrangement of you having sex with whoever & her not getting to. She may say she is cool with it, but if she's a genuinely worthwhile girl the inequity is going to bother her, I assure you. It will say all the wrong things about you to her, such as you don't respect her, don't care about her health, are incapable of loyalty & think random sex is more important than her.

She will resent it over time, which is not good, and she will have lots of time to think about all the poor reflections on YOU such a demand broadcasts.

I think it's best to remain non-committal now and let her know y'all can reassess when she gets back. If it's still a mutual attraction when she returns that's a good thing.

I would not advise lying. A worthwhile girl will simply drop you & move on for lying & continuing to screw other girls. She will know sooner or later.

Obviously you risk losing her. Price of admission.

Solid advice. I won't go the lying route. This seems sound.

 

[RangerMIke]

Chicks can't do LDRs. What she is telling you is true... she really believes she can do this, you as a man have to recognize that she can not. As soon as she is around a man she is attracted to she will be down on her knees sucking his c0ck.

Your attitude should be that she can do whatever the fvck she wants, you will do whatever you want, with ZERO expectations.

 

[marmel75]

Frequently is once a month?? You need to up your standards man...LDR's DO NOT WORK!! PERIOD!

How many times do we have to read about the aftermath of one of these ridiculous LDR's before people get it thru their thick skulls??