"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I work an odd second/third shift schedule. Any way to work around this?

S

starfishandcoffee

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Had a semi-successful date last night - we ended up making out in a field and then I said something really, really stupid that might have been fatal. I'm only worrying about it because I've had few options lately.

I work some wonky hours (2 PM to 1 AM Thursday through Sunday) and I have three days off with this wake-up-in-the-afternoon-and-go-to-bed-in-the-morning sleep schedule. Since the entire world is awake in the mornings and has weekends off, I feel like getting a hold of a girl might have be on the back burner until I return to school in the fall. Monday through Wednesday is almost always dead around my town.

Is there any way I can really remedy this? I'm hitting the gym constantly to make up for this lost time, but I'm sure there's a solution...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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zekko

zekko

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At least you're up in the late afternoon/evening/early night hours. That's when most socializing and seducing goes on. There's not that much seduction that goes on in the morning that I'm aware of. You've got three nights a week to make the most of.
 
zekko

zekko

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starfishandcoffee said:
Even on Monday through Wednesday?
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Okay well, that's not exactly ideal :(
 
I

Iceberg

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zekko said:
There's not that much seduction that goes on in the morning that I'm aware of. You've got three nights a week to make the most of.
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Come on, zekko. I know you've done some breakfast sarging. Strutting through the Denny's, scooping up some honeys. "Sup baby. You need some sausage to go with those eggs?"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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R

RedZone

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Girls still go out on those nights, especially in the summer. Just have to find a bar/club in your area that attracts a lot of people the nights you are available.
 
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