Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

I want to be a father one day...

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I see what you're saying. But that's sort of what I mean, too. I guess we can frame it as simply being practical and avoiding disaster. But there have probably been worse times to have kids than 2020 in the west, and people got by and turned out fine. My opinion is that it's self-defeating to take this big picture vision that the west sucks (which is true on many levels) and use it as an excuse not to do what you want, when your life, decisions, and female options are on a much smaller scale and not typical.

That is to say - I think many of the men here on Sosuave have much better odds of a successful marriage and family than most men, because of all the knowledge they've attained, their ability to screen and next, and just generally knowing what they want. Plus a lot of guys on here are overall very intelligent. On the one hand that makes them pragmatic about not settling down and reproducing which is smart. On the other hand, if a guy truly wants to have kids he shouldn't let anything stop him. Kind of like "why get out of bed in the morning" if you're not being true to yourself. I get and respect that YOU no longer want kids, but I wonder how many red pill men who want them are afraid to now.
I think the chances of divorce for men on here are still relatively the same. We’re just better at creating attraction, meaning we’d have a higher quality marriage. But that doesn’t mean it’d last longer. For one thing, we don’t tolerate disrespect here and are willing to walk out on women. That alone creates dread, but we have to follow through. That’s the difference between us and standard men.

25% children have no father
40% born to unwed mothers
35% live below the poverty line
50% marriages that do happen end in divorce

So forgive the cynicism but we don't exactly live in Disneyland
It’s worse than that bro, check out this post by an old member on here:
I agree with DEEZEDBRAH. except the divorce rate is actually worse. Its 50% a year but that’s per year of all the marriages existing from January to December. Only 6.5% of marriages make it to the ten year mark.
I checked the three surrounding counties to me and that includes Denver county. I looked of the records and used the calculator on my phone. It’s was 91.3% of the divorces were initiated by the woman. The VAST majority were in their 20s and 30s. They wanted back on the carousel.

He is also right and it is Marxism. Full blown.
6.5% of marriages actually last 10 years. That’s trash. Granted, that’s in Colorado, but that’s still complete utter ****ing trash.
 

EyeBRollin

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I think the chances of divorce for men on here are still relatively the same. We’re just better at creating attraction, meaning we’d have a higher quality marriage. But that doesn’t mean it’d last longer. For one thing, we don’t tolerate disrespect here and are willing to walk out on women. That alone creates dread, but we have to follow through. That’s the difference between us and standard men.
Based on what I’ve seen on this forum, we’re no better. Most men just don’t know how to maintain interest level long term. How many can say after a year in LTR they have a woman that would walk over glass for them?
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Based on what I’ve seen on this forum, we’re no better. Most men just don’t know how to maintain interest level long term. How many can say after a year in LTR they have a woman that would walk over glass for them?
Yeah that’s what I’m saying. At some point **** is gonna have to go down. Even in really old religious texts, women would still give men who had a direct link with God a hard time. Whether you believe in all that or not, that’s besides the point; I’m just saying, the fact that this concept has been depicted to be apart of female nature for thousands of years speaks volumes about how women are.
 

FMCSMT

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What’s you’re story? Why did you guys split?
I honestly don’t know and don’t care. I was always the type that if someone didn’t want to be with me, I held the door open for them to leave.

We were married 11 years, together 17, 3 kids. I know her mom was behind it and she lawyered up before she said she wanted a divorce.

I recorded everything, including when she came back, and all the sex we had, to prove that it was consensual. My lawyer told me to do that. Then, after she moved out, I found her journal accusing me of rape.

It was a good thing I recorded her.

I kept the house, my things, and custody of my kids.

She got extremely fat and we haven’t spoke to each other since. Been over 5 years now.
 

Spaz

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Spaz no it’s not, men have always wanted a family. It helps drive purpose. It’s just that nowadays women have been ****ed up by society and mainstream media and culture in such a way that destroyed the family unit.

The men have not changed. The women have.

I have been on here for 5 and a half years, and I still wanted to have kids up until last year. It’s not about “fear” or “loathing” as you put it. At some point, you’re gonna have to put it together that these are just not good times to be having kids in. Relationships are dead because women killed it.
It is dangerous for a man to hold on to this concept.

Reverse it, and hold all accountability in a relationship.

If and when it ends, take responsibility.

By doing so, a man can only improve, from bad, to better to greater.

There is no other way to achieve it.

Once a man starts to blame women, they then start a downward spiral that never ends.
 

FMCSMT

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By the way...

21 fathers per week...

...kill themselves...

because they are fighting to see their kids...

and losing.

Boil your noodles in that broth for a moment and then come tell me again how you want to be a father. FOH
 

Spaz

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By the way...

21 fathers per week...

...kill themselves...

because they are fighting to see their kids...

and losing.

Boil your noodles in that broth for a moment and then come tell me again how you want to be a father. FOH
It's okay to be a father.

Know that you're spread ur seed. Did ur god given duty.

Right or wrong, the child has always belong to the mother, that's what they were created for.

A woman has nothing else to contribute nor create anything else in this world.

Regardless of how things end up, a man must focus on his pursuits or his ambitions.

His ambition cannot be raising a child. It was never meant to be.
 

EyeBRollin

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It should be marry a great man and then keep his interests level sky high.

The focus should always be on the man, never the woman.
Men have the penis, thus lead the mating dance. As much as you seemingly want to shift the blame onto women, It’s up to men to pick suitable women.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I had zero desire to have children, never mind getting married, until I was about 36. Even then, it took a near death experience to change my mind. Up to that point I was about as cynical as one could be on the concept of a forever happy atomic family.

When I did finally come around to the desire to “spread my seed”, I took a very pragmatic approach to it.

I’ve talked about this several times on the forum before.

Ultimately, before I even went into it, I expected and prepared for the relationship to fail inside of 5 years. Although I had hoped it would all work out and las decades, I surely never expected it. So I shrugged off the stigma of having a child out of wedlock, and by the time my daughter was 4 or 5 I had full physical custody without the drama of divorce, being raped by the courts, alimony, child support, etc.

I picked a woman who could serve well enough at least through the infant years and ensured I was the man bringing home all of the bacon. In cases of unmarried custody battles, the child will almost always go to the more stable “provider”, and this plays well into the hands of men who are successful.

It sounds bad to say this, but you may actually be better off with a “low quality” woman if you can avoid marriage with her. She will be easy to discredit should things go south; much better than you would be diving into legal castration with what you thought was a unicorn but is really a goat.

All women have some useful purpose. You just need to learn how to delegate the right jobs to those who can fulfill them, even if temporarily.

I understand this approach isn’t for everyone, but if your desire to breed is true and strong, while your fear of being court raped is just as prominent, this is the way to go...stigma be damned.
What exactly did you do? I always heard that the woman automatically gets full custody of the kids and that the father has absolutely no say in over it. Saw one dude balling his eyes out cuz his now-ex girlfriend put the baby up for adoption even though he told her he would take care of it completely and she never had to worry about it. She just put it up for adoption to hurt him.
 

The Diver

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Why’d you guys divorce?
We grow apart, started disrespected each other, a lot of disagreement, she put on weight and I lost attraction and, in the last two years the sex was scarce if at all, and generally we stopped loving each other.
obviously It wasn't like that in the beginning, but as years go by it got worse and worse.
I admit I was a very blue pill at the time, and if I have known what I know now, it could have been a different story. btw, we were married 20 years.
But I'm very happy now, especially after learning all the Red pill stuff. My dating life is great and in the last 7 years, since the divorce, I had sex more then I had during all my married life, Lol , to the point I had my fill, and now I'm looking for a bit more than just sex.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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It is dangerous for a man to hold on to this concept.

Reverse it, and hold all accountability in a relationship.

If and when it ends, take responsibility.

By doing so, a man can only improve, from bad, to better to greater.

There is no other way to achieve it.

Once a man starts to blame women, they then start a downward spiral that never ends.
I’m not saying there’s nothing I can do. But in the same way how wimps and wusses are always walking around eggshells, I too would have to for many of these women interns of how on-point my game needs to be. I shouldn’t have to have knowledge of how to turn a woman bisexual, or how to break her ability to pair-bond and turn her into a ***** whilst she’s a virgin, or how to top her High Score list without ever sleeping with her, or how to top her High Score list when she already has a body count in the double digits before she’s 20 (while ALSO not ever even having sex with her either), or how to get a woman to cheat on her man with you; I should not have to have knowledge about all of these things just so that I can keep a girl and maintain interest. I’ve done ALL of these things before, Spaz. That’s how good I am. And that’s only a TASTE of what I’m truly capable of. I don’t even fully know my own limits yet because I’ve surpassed everything I ever thought I could become. I became that dude who I couldn’t even dream of becoming, and even to this day, I thank God for giving me this knowledge and letting me know what I know.

But the point is, no man should have to become this good just to maintain a relationship. With the will of God, I shall improve even more than what should have been possible for man. And by His will, I shall maintain it as well. But you can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed that most women are seriously messed up in the head. Most of them have messed up lives through things that is of their own doing. No man is to blame for their anguish.
 

BadBoy89

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I feel two married individuals who are on the same page on parenting would provide the best environment for a kid to grow up in, and for that reason, I would consider marriage.
Marriage has nothing to do with the environment the kid grows up in. You can control the kids environment as much as you can control the weather.

Marriage is about society being stable and the economy growing. Imagine if no one got married and everyone sleeping around and having kids. All the top men would get all the women and the remaining guys would have nothing. How stable would society be then? It would be a disaster.

If a woman loves a man forever and ever and ever, why does she need to marry him? A piece of paper is not going to make her treat him better. In fact it will make her treat him alot worse because he has locked himself in. It’s a suckers bet to keep men under control and society stable.

Having kids has nothing to do with marriage in 2020.



I've been with a decent amount of women already by age 26, and the novelty and conquest of new women is starting to wear off. Sex alone doesn't interest me anymore. Most women I've met are the furthest thing from intellectually stimulating, with the ones worth the companionship are few and far between...
Sex with hot women doesn’t interest you anymore? All women are good for is sex, babies, and entertainment. If you are looking commitment, reliability, stability, you are better off buying a dog.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I'm not a super religious person, but if I was younger and wanted to start a family... I think that I'd have better odds with a gal that was a regular church attendee (one that practiced a more conservative faith).

There's no absolute winning method, but a woman that has grown up with family stability and conservative values would likely be a better candidate.
Mate, the church is full of born again christian women post CC.

Its not like christian women don't have hypergamy or the Jesus forgiveness card. I agree with you on conservative grad values. Molyneux is teaching his daughter. There's a night and day difference in intelligence in contrast to modern women much her senior.

Its gotta start from the home. Red flag is single mom household.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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After we had kids, my wife at the time, said to me once: "Now that we have kids, they always will come first, even before you"
Well, to be honest, your instinct as parents, is to put your kids first. And mother instinct to protect her offspring is an instinct embedded in her since the dawn of time.
So definitely expect to be number two after you have kids.
The sec sex stops, she's downgraded.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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OP - look back at what you wrote. I hear it all the time. And I love my kids. She was a good woman once, too.

But, pay attention to where you wrote the word “want”.

You don’t “need” a kid or kids. And when you have one, they need you, even when you don’t really want to be a father (some days).
+1

Great post.

Even the last remaining relic of masculinity (or 1) cobra Tate desires kids. Its telling. There's a spiritual element that comes fromfrom sacrifice like parenting. There's nothing more sacrificial other then not making the sacrifice (which is a sacrifice ironically enough).

As Stringer and I discussed, we're both fans to rollo but he pushes thethe problem or rants about Rooshv rather than offering a solution. There's a tech lead breakdown on his divorce rape dissected by Rollo. Its brilliant. There's nobody with tech leads IQ. He's brilliant but blue pilled. He posted a heart breaking vblog on seeing his kid after 8months after he was kidnapped by the mother. Disgusting.

There's no solution here in the UK. No playing house. Its all sport. There's alternative locations mentioned to live well outside divorce raped areas. Its not guarantee.
 

RickTheToad

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... but my biggest concern in life is having a kid with the wrong woman. How do I handle this desire given my concern?

I'm 26 years old, and ever since my nephew was born ten years ago and spent the first 2 years of life in the same house as me, I've wanted to raise a kid of my own one day.


I'm not in a rush to have a kid, I'm only 26, but if I ended up dating a woman for long enough who had ideal motherly qualities and the compatibility to be a long-term partner, I wouldn't be against having one in a few years. I have 1 year of university left so I'd like to finish that and have a few years making money before I settle down with someone.

I know there's a few guys on this forum who've got married, or had a kid with a woman, and it didn't work out (perhaps it was an amicable split or the guy simply knocked up an idiot with a vag!na), but they still are proud to be a father nonetheless. Obviously hindsight is 20/20 and there will always be uncertainty, but I'd like to have the mom in the picture to raise the kid alongside me.

I'm not really interested in marriage or finding a unicorn, but I feel two married individuals who are on the same page on parenting would provide the best environment for a kid to grow up in, and for that reason, I would consider marriage.

I've been with a decent amount of women already by age 26, and the novelty and conquest of new women is starting to wear off. Sex alone doesn't interest me anymore. Most women I've met are the furthest thing from intellectually stimulating, with the ones worth the companionship are few and far between...

I guess there's a worry within me that I won't come across a woman worth having a kid with, but living in that mind-set seems unproductive and like it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But my fear NOT to have a kid with the WRONG woman, is stronger than my desire to have a kid to begin with.


At the end of the day, having a kid isn't my purpose or sole ambition in life, so if it doesn't happen because I don't find a suitable mate, then so be it. I wouldn't settle for having a kid with sh!tty woman and let that be my life for 18 years.


TL;DR ... I want to be a father and raise my own kid one day. Wondering the smartest way to approach this desire given the current marketplace and female proclivities these days. In no rush, and I'm not willing to sacrifice on the quality of a woman just for the sake of having a kid, so I can accept it if it doesn't happen... although I really look forward to potential fatherhood. Thoughts?
Like to gamble? How lucky are you OP? Here's some stats from a law site:


You can try to convince her of a private marriage, just not state sanctioned.
 

Spaz

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I’m not saying there’s nothing I can do. But in the same way how wimps and wusses are always walking around eggshells, I too would have to for many of these women interns of how on-point my game needs to be. I shouldn’t have to have knowledge of how to turn a woman bisexual, or how to break her ability to pair-bond and turn her into a ***** whilst she’s a virgin, or how to top her High Score list without ever sleeping with her, or how to top her High Score list when she already has a body count in the double digits before she’s 20 (while ALSO not ever even having sex with her either), or how to get a woman to cheat on her man with you; I should not have to have knowledge about all of these things just so that I can keep a girl and maintain interest. I’ve done ALL of these things before, Spaz. That’s how good I am. And that’s only a TASTE of what I’m truly capable of. I don’t even fully know my own limits yet because I’ve surpassed everything I ever thought I could become. I became that dude who I couldn’t even dream of becoming, and even to this day, I thank God for giving me this knowledge and letting me know what I know.

But the point is, no man should have to become this good just to maintain a relationship. With the will of God, I shall improve even more than what should have been possible for man. And by His will, I shall maintain it as well. But you can’t tell me that you haven’t noticed that most women are seriously messed up in the head. Most of them have messed up lives through things that is of their own doing. No man is to blame for their anguish.
If a whorish woman married Genghis Khan, you think she dare do all those things you mentioned?

If she hypothetically married Jesus or even Mohammed, you think she dared?

They will mold to those men's frame.

Why?
 

Spaz

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Men have the penis, thus lead the mating dance. As much as you seemingly want to shift the blame onto women, It’s up to men to pick suitable women.
Oh really?

I always knew that was true for males of the weaker smaller harmless species.

They even tend to be colorful to attract females.

Like small cute fishes. You know male guppies has an elaborate and colourful design at their tails, smaller then females too.
 

Spaz

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Yes. Read the Bible re: Potiphar's wife, Ahab's wife Jezebel, Solomon's wives or Cyrus' wives.
I've hired so many "guest relation executives" in my own nightclub and had almost zero staff turnover.

Meanwhile others were trying to run off their own establishment to join mine.

Being great doesn't equate to abuse.

Being great is the ability empower those around you, make them feel useful, wanted, needed...making them a part of ur ambitions.
 
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