"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I think I made a mistake
- Thread starter B0redandl0nely
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
backseatjuan
Banned
Whatever man. What you have done is pass an availability trap. Now given some of these chicks are not interested in dating in the first place and some of them make it as if you don't go out now that means the door is closed forever. Which is totally fine, since you gotta approach these things from abundance mind set. There is this great youtube channel with the stuff you need to know, watch several videos at a time, and in about a month you'll have it at a point where everything makes a lot of sense.
At the same time don't forget to hit the gym. Attraction is how good your body looks, it will open up doors to abundance of ass around you.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Pass an availability trap?
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
RickTheToad
Moderator
How does she know you've been unsuccessful with the ladies? Ever hear of the term loose lips sinks ships?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm aware loose lips sink ships. I made a mistake only because for some reason I seemed like an inexperienced kisser to her which I'm actually not and she eventually asked me about my past relationships and I didn't know how to answer so I said something stupid: it didn't work out because of confidence issues I was having. I'm not good with lying and making up good answers (obviously). She also kept calling me out on my nervousness. However, I thought the way she replied to my day after text was enthusiastic but you can never tell with girls (obviously). I thought maybe she would overlook my blunders but I should have realized girls never do. They'd rather send mixed signals and now I'm literally shaking typing this. I see her later and I'm nervous about how she's gonna react to me. I don't know if I should just sit next to her and talk like nothing happened. I know if she doesnt want to hang out after class it's over because I look at dating from a Doc Love The System perspective.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
RickTheToad
Moderator
1) Less is more. In other words, talk less, listen more. Ladies like to find out about you organically. However, you can leave hints on some things so that peaks their interest to learn more.
2) As for kissing, I would had thrown it back at her and say, hey, listen, I wasn't going to say anything, but I was feeling the same from you. Just thought you were nervous; I get that from time to time (with a smirk).
3) Asking about past relationships, iffy subject. I tend to steer away from it by saying it just didn't work out and I wish her or them well. Then move on to another topic that is happy and exciting. Again, you want to strike an emotional response from them.
4) Ladies never overlook anything. They have very good memories; if they are listening. Never fool yourself on that.
5) Again, you need to chill. You live in NYC for Christ sake. Go to the bar and get some liquid courage from Uncle Jack. He'll calm you down.
6) Dude, relax. I can read you body language from the computer screen. Chill. You need to give off a IDGAF or chilled vibe. Again, seek help from Uncle Jack Daniels if you need something to calm you down. If it's too strong, just order a Jack and Coke; neat.
Two problems you have. Well, make that three.
Obviously, with over 5,000 posts, you're spending almost no time in the real world. You're spending all of it here, not just on this forum, but on the internet in general. That's not life. That's a waste of life.
Two, you are extremely negative in your mindset. Consistently so in the posts I've read of yours. This means *you* are negative, not the person you are judging. You then project your pessimistic mindset onto others, because that is your reality. You've put yourself into a bind, because it's hard for adults to change. How old are you? You've got a narrow window of opportunity to change, and the more you post here, the lower your chances of actually improving your life in the real world.
It's hypocritical for you to harp on having the "correct" mentality, when in fact it's obvious to everyone that you have the wrong mentality.
Basically, whatever advice you give to others is the advice you should take yourself. Namely, you have very low emotional depths so you are anxious most of the time. So your third problem is that you are a hypocrite and don't take your own advice. Got it?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
GrowingPains
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2018
- Messages
- 953
- Reaction score
- 690
- Age
- 30
@B0redandl0nely reread what you said. What kind of tone does it give off? How would you perceive this if someone else wrote it? Is this the kind of man you want to be?
Listen man... you're going to have to cut your losses on this one. I am working on dealing with the same issue of over thinking and being anxious around women I've failed with. You need to change your mindset. Stop trying to win and control everything. Give all that you can and if it doesn't work out, learn from it and move on.
There is NOTHING (worth your time and effort) that you can do to make her act the way you want her to. She will do as she pleases and in light of that you should do the same. If you keep thinking like you can calculate her every move, you're in for a world of frustration my friend. I'm pursuing a PhD in mechanical engineering... I know what it's like to have a logical mind in overdrive. After a few attempts of trying to connect with her, you gotta let it go. She isn't reciprocating. Something you're doing isn't working for her. The next step I'd take if I were you is to say hello to her in person, chat briefly in person, invite her to do something in person, and whatever happens happens. If she bites, great. If she doesn't, NEXT.
You need to recast your line. Cast multiple lines. Stop worrying about this one chick. She's consuming all of your attention to the point where you can't even focus on school (been there) you either need to cut her off and realize that she's not special enough to be monopolizing your attention capital or bring the situation to a close (another date or identify that she's rejecting you).
You're better than this. Does a Don Juan allow himself to be controlled by such trivial situations? She doesn't even have the courage to be clear with you. Next. Next. Next. Get your numbers up. No more b!tching in this thread. No more wondering what her actions mean. She needs to be concerned with you - obviously she isn't. So get busy with improving your life.
Change your mindset:
"You do not think, "That chick is hot. I must win her!" You think, "I think that chick is hot. Let's see if she is WORTHY of me!" - Pook
"Any b!tch ain't let me fvck I had to boss up just to teach that b!tch a lesson" - Blueface
"Don't you ever think you finna play me 'cause you playin' yourself in the long run" - Salsalino
You are the fvcking man. Now start acting like it.
You sound depressed that u r not getting Spaz's attention.
You sound like a homo gaming guys on sosuave.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
How do I sound like a homo? I'm pursuing a heterosexual relationship and not having any luck with it
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.