I talked to guys who are getting laid a lot in 2023, here's how they are meeting women.

Jesse Pinkman

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Over the past year, I have had the chance to talk to guys who are getting laid a lot in 2023, I mean having a date every other day that turns into a lay or getting laid multiple times a week. Here is how they are meeting women.

Online dating is a clear cut number one.

I hate to say it, online dating wins by a country mile. The threshold has gotten higher but at the same time, the guys who meet that threshold now are getting a larger share of the pie. I mean it is almost unreal how easy the guys who are getting regular matches on the apps have it. The thing is, some of these guys are not great looking as much as they are great at putting up the right kinds of photos with the right kinds of filters and quality. I think a guy with the right profile for the dating apps could get 100+ lays in a year if he wanted.

If I had to identify the player of 2023, he is either someone who has a really good photographer for the dating apps or he is someone that happens to be looksmaxxed (gym, shredded, etc.) and on the apps.

By far, this is the most efficient and easy way to get laid if you can master it. I tried a pro photographer and it did not work. However, you can also get a lot of quality online and the hottest girls are on the apps and matching with dudes.

A few have got into Instagram game.

I hate guys like Michael Sartain hyping up Instagram game more than the next guy but in some cases, it unfortunately works. I call it the Instagram and the whole club promoter route. Basically these guys use their IGs to show that they are always in fancy places, have up quality pics, take a gig as either a club promoter or something niche (photographer), and also throw a lot of events that they invite women to (photoshoots for example). A ton of work from the outside looking in but hey, it freaking works. I will not go down this route because these guys sometimes operate on no sleep.

I have not met anyone getting laid regularly through cold approach.

If I had to put a number on it, maybe guys who do cold approach get 3 lays a month max and that is if they are really advanced. I do cold approach to push myself but if I had to have a strategy in mind, I say use cold approach to get the women you do not match with on the apps or on Instagram.

People claim that you can get higher quality via cold approach, I disagree. I often find that most girls, like 95% of them in a bar, are 6s with the occasional 7. Then you have the other 5% who can be 8s and up but they usually come with boyfriends or in a large impenetrable group.

Same with daygame, despite living in Miami and @IKO69 can check me on this, you don't really see that many 8s 9s and 10s out consistently during the day. You might occasionally run into one but they are not that common even in a city like Miami during the day.

I do it because I have grown a lot from it but I have not met anyone who consistently gets laid from it, at least not to the level guys doing IG game or online dating are.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I’ve always been upfront about my use of OLD and how I pipeline. It’s always been met with teeth gnashing and dudes trying to claim I’m banging whales.

I’m not ridiculously successful but I can easily meet 1-2 new quality lays a months with it, if I pay attention.
 

SW15

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Online dating is a clear cut number one.

it is almost unreal how easy the guys who are getting regular matches on the apps have it. The thing is, some of these guys are not great looking as much as they are great at putting up the right kinds of photos with the right kinds of filters and quality. I think a guy with the right profile for the dating apps could get 100+ lays in a year if he wanted.

If I had to identify the player of 2023, he is either someone who has a really good photographer for the dating apps or he is someone that happens to be looksmaxxed (gym, shredded, etc.) and on the apps.

By far, this is the most efficient and easy way to get laid if you can master it.
I agree with this assessment. For men who are 90th percentile +, swipe apps will produce a great quantity of sexual partners and regular lays.

A 90th percentile + man might even be able to get an LTR from a 90th percentile looks female if he wants. If he isn't able to do that for some reason, he can get plenty of quantity of sex in the meantime.

For a top tier man, swiping is way more efficient than approaching in bars ever was.

A few have got into Instagram game.

I hate guys like Michael Sartain hyping up Instagram game more than the next guy but in some cases, it unfortunately works. I call it the Instagram and the whole club promoter route. Basically these guys use their IGs to show that they are always in fancy places, have up quality pics, take a gig as either a club promoter or something niche (photographer), and also throw a lot of events that they invite women to (photoshoots for example). A ton of work from the outside looking in but hey, it freaking works. I will not go down this route because these guys sometimes operate on no sleep.
Instagram is a good option under certain cases. Michael Sartain also hypes social circle game more so than random DMing on Instagram.

I have not met anyone getting laid regularly through cold approach.

If I had to put a number on it, maybe guys who do cold approach get 3 lays a month max and that is if they are really advanced. I do cold approach to push myself but if I had to have a strategy in mind, I say use cold approach to get the women you do not match with on the apps or on Instagram.

People claim that you can get higher quality via cold approach, I disagree. I often find that most girls, like 95% of them in a bar, are 6s with the occasional 7. Then you have the other 5% who can be 8s and up but they usually come with boyfriends or in a large impenetrable group.

Same with daygame, despite living in Miami and @IKO69 can check me on this, you don't really see that many 8s 9s and 10s out consistently during the day. You might occasionally run into one but they are not that common even in a city like Miami during the day.

I do it because I have grown a lot from it but I have not met anyone who consistently gets laid from it, at least not to the level guys doing IG game or online dating are.
I think there's a need to rethink approaching strangers and what the tool is best used to accomplish.

Approaching strangers in any venue looking for a romantic option is very inefficient. I don't the goal of stranger approaching should be quantity of sexual partners. I think the goal of approaching strangers should be more for finding extended relationships that last 6 months - 3 years and include regular sex. If the relationship is still good and extends beyond 3 years, that's even better.

If someone's going to make the effort of approaching strangers in any venue, there should be some longer term thing that results from it. The longer term thing must lead to easier, low effort sex.

Approaching strangers is a high effort initially. Threads like the one below are very good examples of how approaching strangers in-person is high effort, and often low reward


Social circle is great for getting a girlfriend. Pay close attention to the words "a girlfriend". That means one girlfriend. If you're looking for an extended relationship (2-5 years or more), your best bet for getting that with the least amount of grief and frustration is social circle as compared to approaching strangers. Many men who get social circle girlfriends tend to retain those girlfriends for a long time and often beyond the useful life of the relationship. A lot of the social circle girlfriend guys are beta males and beta males operate from a scarcity mindset. It's common to see a 10 year+ relationship from social circle which does lead to a marriage proposal.

A social circle introduction is a higher percentage play than a swipe app interaction or approaching a stranger (either in a bar or non-bar setting). It's a more difficult path and it's not a path I recommend highly. Social circle is better in the shorter to medium term. You can get a solid, medium term (1-4 years) girlfriend via social circles more easily than through approaches or swiping more easily.

The problem with social circles becomes sustainability over a longer period of time (5+ years). Social circles have a way of getting pissed off at men who continually exchange girlfriends without marriage or babies, even if the relationships are semi-long (1-4 years) Remember that social circles generally have a blue pill viewpoint on romantic relationships. After 2 or so instances of medium term relationships, the social circle will run dry. Social circle is not likely ideal for a serial monogamist who does have extended relationships but doesn't commit or the player type who tends to have relationships of less than 1 year.

This is really where stranger approaching becomes valuable. If you're looking for a longer term solution in your life, are below the 90th percentile (as most men are), and desire extended relationships without ruining your social circles, then approaching strangers becomes the thing you'll want to do.
 

Ricky

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Is there great variance based on cities on the apps?
 

Hamurabimbi

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Is there great variance based on cities on the apps?
I did Tinder in a very large city on the CA coast & midsized/small towns in central/Northern CA as well as the Midwest. Other than numbers & racial makeup there wasn’t much difference. Though there did seem more single moms in the Midwest. And obviously, younger girls in college towns.
 

Cowboy-Cheems

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OP has very believable post. The only thing I would add is that location is key for the Instagram/swipe app game. Good looking guy on swipe app in college town with student body exceeding 30k=easy mode. Ugly to average guy in small towns with lopsided age demographics=hard mode.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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I’ve seen a massive difference between 1st tier coastal cities and 1st/2nd tier non coastal cities. The abundance non coastal was ridiculous and easy, younger women interested and just a slay fest. Super high quality compared to coastal hags.

I did Tinder in a very large city on the CA coast & midsized/small towns in central/Northern CA as well as the Midwest. Other than numbers & racial makeup there wasn’t much difference. Though there did seem more single moms in the Midwest. And obviously, younger girls in college towns.
 
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BillyPilgrim

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Insee a massive difference between 1st tier coastal cities and 1st/2nd tier non coastal cities. The abundance non coastal was ridiculous and easy, younger women interested and just a slay fest. Super high quality compared to coastal hags.
It's been said there's a transference effect with women living in nice places, they gain status through osmosis and they think their desirable surroundings then become a reflection of them.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Never heard that one.

It's been said there's a transference effect with women living in nice places, they gain status through osmosis and they think their desirable surroundings then become a reflection of them.
 
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