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I still struggle with the abundance mindset

BackInTheGame78

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I think a better mindset to try to adopt is an "I don't care" mindset.
Clearly people DO care so that is simply lying to yourself. And why would someone NOT want to care? Would you tell people to have this attitude with their career? With their kids? With their family or friends?

Then why would you with relationships and dating? Sounds like a good attitude if you want to make no positive impacts on your life and be drifting in the ocean on a raft with no sail or paddle.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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Clearly people DO care so that is simply lying to yourself. And why would someone NOT want to care? Would you tell people to have this attitude with their career? With their kids? With their family or friends?

Then why would you with relationships and dating? Sounds like a good attitude if you want to make no positive impacts on your life and be drifting in the ocean on a raft with no sail or paddle.
If the girl likes you, then that's great.

If she doesn't, then no big deal cause you've got enough fulfillment in your life anyway (and I don't mean by other girls).
 

firstbornunicorn

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If the girl likes you, then that's great.

If she doesn't, then no big deal cause you've got enough fulfillment in your life anyway (and I don't mean by other girls).
So it's not caring about the outcome but still putting some effort in. That's something else.
I'm developing a "seed theory". You plant seeds, water them, and focus on the ones that sprout. You can't just ignore the seeds you plant, or not plant any seeds and expects something to sprout.
 

corrector

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Of course you are struggling with the abundance mindset. How can you get any validation to feel abundance if you are not meeting women in the first place? I put less time into meeting women then you do so we both have the same results. You can only really talk to cashiers.

If you look at another poster @Josh Davidson. He claims to be book smart, and does 100 approaches and nothing happens. You also have @SargeMaximus who claims to also have done allot of approaches and got no good results. Just based on those two posters, there is no guarantee that you put a gargantuan effort that you'll get the results. Who has time to do that many approaches anyway?

Then you have @BackInTheGame78 that says you generate volume. But then that's just a catch-22. If you can't generate volume and your thirsty then there is no true abundance mind-set other than travelling to another country where your SMV might be higher as a foreigner, staying there for a month or two, getting an ego-boost and returning back.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Of course you are struggling with the abundance mindset. How can you get any validation to feel abundance if you are not meeting women in the first place? I put less time into meeting women then you do so we both have the same results. You can only really talk to cashiers.

If you look at another poster @Josh Davidson. He claims to be book smart, and does 100 approaches and nothing happens. You also have @SargeMaximus who claims to also have done allot of approaches and got no good results. Just based on those two posters, there is no guarantee that you put a gargantuan effort that you'll get the results. Who has time to do that many approaches anyway?

Then you have @BackInTheGame78 that says you generate volume. But then that's just a catch-22. If you can't generate volume and your thirsty then there is no true abundance mind-set other than travelling to another country where your SMV might be higher as a foreigner, staying there for a month or two, getting an ego-boost and returning back.
You always can generate volume. But if think you are entitled to date a 8 or. a 9 when you are fat, out of shape, have no job and bring nothing to the table then you are simply delusional. The higher up you want to go in terms of looks with women, the more you need to have yourself and your attitude and mindset together.

One thing I can promise you though, is the attitude and mindset you and so many other "woe is me posters" posters have isn't it and no matter how high you get those other things it will never happen until you get your attitude and mindset right.
 

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DonJuanjr

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How about looking at it like this... The high number of approaches will slowly change your personality to where you will eventually start snowballing the progress. It's either approach and get better, or don't approach and don't get sex... Unless you want transactional with prostitutes. Maybe those that have really high approaches but no results are not actively analyzing how to change their approach for the better.
 

corrector

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You always can generate volume. But if think you are entitled to date a 8 or. a 9 when you are fat, out of shape, have no job and bring nothing to the table then you are simply delusional. The higher up you want to go in terms of looks with women, the more you need to have yourself and your attitude and mindset together.

One thing I can promise you though, is the attitude and mindset you and so many other "woe is me posters" posters have isn't it.
You are putting words into my mouth when you suggest that I'm only think I'm entitled to date 8s and 9s. Reality-check, most guys, like the OP don't mind dealing with any hb5 +.
 

BackInTheGame78

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You are putting words into my mouth when you suggest that I'm only think I'm entitled to date 8s and 9s. Reality-check, most guys, like the OP don't mind dealing with any hb5 +.
Then generating volume is as easy as getting on an OLD site and messaging women in volume as long as you can create an interesting profile, have decent pics and can have a conversation and don't act needy, desperate or lame. Which apparently is a lot harder than it looks based on results people don't get.
 

Robert28

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I think a better mindset to try to adopt is an "I don't care" mindset.
That’s the hardest mindset to adopt of all. As humans we are wired to care, men especially. It’s biologically impossible to turn off.
 

SargeMaximus

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Of course you are struggling with the abundance mindset. How can you get any validation to feel abundance if you are not meeting women in the first place? I put less time into meeting women then you do so we both have the same results. You can only really talk to cashiers.

If you look at another poster @Josh Davidson. He claims to be book smart, and does 100 approaches and nothing happens. You also have @SargeMaximus who claims to also have done allot of approaches and got no good results. Just based on those two posters, there is no guarantee that you put a gargantuan effort that you'll get the results. Who has time to do that many approaches anyway?

Then you have @BackInTheGame78 that says you generate volume. But then that's just a catch-22. If you can't generate volume and your thirsty then there is no true abundance mind-set other than travelling to another country where your SMV might be higher as a foreigner, staying there for a month or two, getting an ego-boost and returning back.
I think the key is to find what works FOR YOU. I didn't see results till I broke from conventional PUA wisdom and started doing my own thing. However, I probably wouldn't have known what worked for me if I hadn't first approached and figured out what DOESN'T work for me. You gotta get experience.

Also, I'm not content with my results, and always looking to improve them. Hence I will probably be approaching again one day once I can figure out an angle that will work for me.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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I think the key is to find what works FOR YOU. I didn't see results till I broke from conventional PUA wisdom and started doing my own thing. However, I probably wouldn't have known what worked for me if I hadn't first approached and figured out what DOESN'T work for me. You gotta get experience.

Also, I'm not content with my results, and always looking to improve them. Hence I will probably be approaching again one day once I can figure out an angle that will work for me.
What changes did you make that worked for you?
 

SargeMaximus

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What changes did you make that worked for you?
I started doing what I felt like doing. I started going sexual very early. I ended up f*cking a 8/10 asian in 2019 because of this. I can post pictures of our convo and her face if you'd like.

I just kept going after what was getting me results. Results for me are: sexy behavior from a girl, compliance to my silly desires (I used to request nudes before I realized that was hurting a chance at a meet, but the girls DID send them), also if she agrees to meet, it's more of the same: look for compliance to your touch, openness to anything. I once had a 7.5 on a date and I was kissing her, fingering her, everything but I myself didn't decide to f*ck her because I was following pua " Don't **** on the first date". But after the date it was obvious to me she was completely without a will of her own and would have let me do anything. That's when you know you're game is tight. When girls are just going with your flow.

To be fair, I followed a lot of PUA things on that date with this girl, and so I'm not saying all PUA is bad. What I AM saying is you gotta test and find what works FOR YOU.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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I started doing what I felt like doing. I started going sexual very early. I ended up f*cking a 8/10 asian in 2019 because of this. I can post pictures of our convo and her face if you'd like.

I just kept going after what was getting me results. Results for me are: sexy behavior from a girl, compliance to my silly desires (I used to request nudes before I realized that was hurting a chance at a meet, but the girls DID send them), also if she agrees to meet, it's more of the same: look for compliance to your touch, openness to anything. I once had a 7.5 on a date and I was kissing her, fingering her, everything but I myself didn't decide to f*ck her because I was following pua :Don't **** on the first date". But after the date it was obvious to me she was completely without a will of her own and would have let me do anything. That's when you know you're game is tight. When girls are just going with your flow.

To be fair, I followed a lot of PUA things on that date with this girl, and so I'm not saying all PUA is bad. What I AM saying is you gotta test and find what works FOR YOU.
Yea post the convo and pic.

I stopped trying to have sex "for free" because it's so unpredictable. Even when girls say they'll come over just to fvck, they might flake. I just don't have time or patience for it. That's why I know just paying for it is so much easier and involves no stress at all.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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I started doing what I felt like doing. I started going sexual very early. I ended up f*cking a 8/10 asian in 2019 because of this. I can post pictures of our convo and her face if you'd like.

I just kept going after what was getting me results. Results for me are: sexy behavior from a girl, compliance to my silly desires (I used to request nudes before I realized that was hurting a chance at a meet, but the girls DID send them), also if she agrees to meet, it's more of the same: look for compliance to your touch, openness to anything. I once had a 7.5 on a date and I was kissing her, fingering her, everything but I myself didn't decide to f*ck her because I was following pua " Don't **** on the first date". But after the date it was obvious to me she was completely without a will of her own and would have let me do anything. That's when you know you're game is tight. When girls are just going with your flow.

To be fair, I followed a lot of PUA things on that date with this girl, and so I'm not saying all PUA is bad. What I AM saying is you gotta test and find what works FOR YOU.
In fact, last time I remember having sex for free...

The sex was just normal. We had sex three times over the course of a few hours. She came straight over without meeting anywhere else first.

Then a few weeks later she wants to go out on a date and that's annoying to me because I'm always busy. So it doesn't match with my life.
 

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SargeMaximus

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Yea post the convo and pic.

I stopped trying to have sex "for free" because it's so unpredictable. Even when girls say they'll come over just to fvck, they might flake. I just don't have time or patience for it. That's why I know just paying for it is so much easier and involves no stress at all.
Kk here. She was 25 and I was 31 at the time.


Yea post the convo and pic.

I stopped trying to have sex "for free" because it's so unpredictable. Even when girls say they'll come over just to fvck, they might flake. I just don't have time or patience for it. That's why I know just paying for it is so much easier and involves no stress at all.
Ok here I had to edit personal details out. She was 25 and I was 31 at the time. We both knew each other’s age
 

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Dash Riprock

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There is so much bad advice in this thread I'm not even going to comment on it, specifically.

The Abundance Mindset and IDGAF attitude are two separate things and absolutely mandatory for success with women, in business, and in life.

Or, you can try going through life focused on scarcity, negative outcomes and results, and also focusing on everyone's opinion of you and your dealings. Go ahead, see what kind of success you reap and how far that mindset gets you in life.

I'm not going to untangle the bowl of spaghetti this thread has become. If anyone wants to know more, PM me.
 

firstbornunicorn

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You are putting words into my mouth when you suggest that I'm only think I'm entitled to date 8s and 9s. Reality-check, most guys, like the OP don't mind dealing with any hb5 +.
My expectations could also just be wrong. This year I've been with 4 girls, all 8+. One was a catwalk model, one was a (no joke) 9.5+ tall 22 year-old Swede that I could definitely catch feelings for(that gave me the best BJ I've ever gotten) . And she's the reason I'm bothered these days as I need some volume to get over her.

People just assume I'm fat/loser/whatever, but I've got the 3 sixes(but don't flaunt it, no shirtless pics anywhere, and I save up like 75% of my paycheck.) NGL, I think sometimes just being attractive brings up the biatch shield more than less attractive guys get. Like I've said before in this forum, I had the player label when I was still a virgin.

I've always been super picky, and not just looks wise. if I lowered my standard to 5+ I'd get laid a lot more, but if I go below an 8 it just feels bad. So maybe it's also limited by the number of hb8+ that exist.

I do meet quite some women. But I'm not attracted to 99% of them. There's no abundance of women I'm truly attracted to.
 

Guy69JackBlue

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Kk here. She was 25 and I was 31 at the time.



Ok here I had to edit personal details out. She was 25 and I was 31 at the time. We both knew each other’s age
Yea I've had conversations like this... Example...

I matched with an Asian real estate agent on Bumble. Similar in looks rating to what you posted...

Immediately asked her to just come over to fvck. She said yes if it's RIGHT NOW because she has a fantasy football draft in a few hours. I was working so I said in that case it will have to wait until tomorrow. She says she can't tomorrow....

I decide to message her about 2 weeks later and she says she'll come over. Then later cancels because her babysitter cancelled on her.

To me, it's not worth all these headaches just to get a nut off. Not when there's ways to do it without this uncertainty.
 
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