B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
telling this girl I used to date that my anxiety ruined our relationship. I can't stand the thought of her thinking I'm weak. How do I deal with this?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
I regret...
- Thread starter B0redandl0nely
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
By doing nothing. Move on. It's over. Learn and get better. The more you try to "fix" things, the bigger hole you'll dig. By anxiety, do you mean PA or general anxiety? And if she left you because of it (either issue) she's the one with the problem not you. No one's perfect.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I can't deal with it being over. She tried so hard to make it work but I put this emotional wall up. I wasn't dealing with my issues and that's my problem, not hers. I'm a man and I'm supposed to be a protector and provider. And I wanna be alpha too but I'm aspergers. I feel like im an alpha soul trapped in an aspergers mind. The anxiety was general.
You decide on the best course of action to best repair your personal issues for the next girl. It may even go as far as requiring psych therapy and/or professionally prescribed drugs in that process.
Your admission of your anxiety issue was taken as a sign of personal weakness with this girl…
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I don't want another girl...
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
and I can't deal with her thinking I'm weak...
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
Ok, your best bet then is to go NC for a least a few months to try and get her to miss you. This does work sometimes. Then, reach out, and ask her to do something non-romantic like lunch to "catch up." See where it goes, but DON'T PUSH or get NEEDY. You'll kill it. Remember, full NC for now. Good luck.
That’s an anxiety driven response. Deal with that issue.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
and?
Dash Riprock
Master Don Juan
You're not "Weak." We all have issues. She'll think you're weak if you PUSH, keep contacting her, or acting all NEEDY. Date other women to practice and get your mojo back. I know Asperger's is tough and can make relationships challenging, but we all have our s*hit to deal with.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
Cant do that sorry...
Murk
Master Don Juan
Then continue to stress and worry, just don’t harm yourself.
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I want her back
Regret is Always about the past. Recognize the past for what it was and was not, and live in the present while continuing to improve yourself for your future…
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"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Vantagepoint34
Master Don Juan
OP you are fine the way you are. No need to waste money on anything. You are who you are and you don't need to change for anyone. Strength in our society is just non existant. Most decisions are made passively because you gave no importance to begin with. Live on brother!
B0redandl0nely
Senior Don Juan
I'm not fine the way I am. What do you mean gave no importance? The regret I feel for the decision I made is very important to me...