Been thinking about why I fail so much since I'd taken a break from pick up. I think a lot of my problems are the girls I'm approaching or talking to aren't attracted to me at all. It would explain a lot, why they don't contact me, the flaking. However I probably have no idea how to attract a woman initially. All the stuff I've read mostly deals with how to increase attraction once it's established (or how not to lose attraction). Does anyone know any threads (or articles) dealing with how to create initial attraction?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I really need to learn how to create initial attraction in women
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
PlaysToWin
Don Juan
I'd say it can be summarised as:
- Look your best (groom, dress well, work out, etc)
- Appear confident
- Be fun
- Establish DHV
- Look your best (groom, dress well, work out, etc)
- Appear confident
- Be fun
- Establish DHV
How do you DHV? I get how to do the other stuff (although I do have to fake confidence sometimes), but DHV has always been unclear to me. I know that it means displaying higher value and I know why it's important. Just don't know how to get to that point.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
One word: confidence!Kal0051 said:Been thinking about why I fail so much since I'd taken a break from pick up. I think a lot of my problems are the girls I'm approaching or talking to aren't attracted to me at all. It would explain a lot, why they don't contact me, the flaking. However I probably have no idea how to attract a woman initially. All the stuff I've read mostly deals with how to increase attraction once it's established (or how not to lose attraction). Does anyone know any threads (or articles) dealing with how to create initial attraction?
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Kal0051 said:How do you DHV? I get how to do the other stuff (although I do have to fake confidence sometimes), but DHV has always been unclear to me. I know that it means displaying higher value and I know why it's important. Just don't know how to get to that point.
Kal: You remind me a lot of my good friend. Without seeing you or knowing you too well; I tell you that my friend is a good looking guy, he's funny and has ambition in life.
HOWEVER, he's akward in social situations and his humor is hard for most girls to get unless they really know him. As a result he also tends to over-analyze and have that "fake confidence" when were out and about.
Its one thing to look the part, but you better damn well be able to act the part too or she'll lose interest in you as quickly as possible.
From reading threads, I think you think about this $hit too much. Sure when you don't have success it becomes hard not to try to figure it out, but you rarely post specific conversations you have with girls or how you initially appraoched and went for the number closed. Without seeing EXACTLY what your doing in your initial meeting, its tough to say where your going wrong.
PIMP
I seems I'm similar to your friend from your description. I think I have posted some approaches and interactions with girl on here (though maybe it was someother site). Haven't been doing too many cold approaches lately, it's been over a month since I've really gone out. Been too busy with exams at the start of December and work since then (I think Xmas has been my only day off in 3 weeks). Not using that as an excuse however, hopefully I'll be able to get out sometime next week. And there's this newly single girl I know that I may practice on (she used to flirt with me a bit when she was in a relationship). Although I will have to watch out with that girl, there's this coke head that's obsessed with her and was waiting for her to be single.Pimp-sicle said:Kal: You remind me a lot of my good friend. Without seeing you or knowing you too well; I tell you that my friend is a good looking guy, he's funny and has ambition in life.
HOWEVER, he's akward in social situations and his humor is hard for most girls to get unless they really know him. As a result he also tends to over-analyze and have that "fake confidence" when were out and about.
Its one thing to look the part, but you better damn well be able to act the part too or she'll lose interest in you as quickly as possible.
From reading threads, I think you think about this $hit too much. Sure when you don't have success it becomes hard not to try to figure it out, but you rarely post specific conversations you have with girls or how you initially appraoched and went for the number closed. Without seeing EXACTLY what your doing in your initial meeting, its tough to say where your going wrong.
PIMP