Been thinking about why I fail so much since I'd taken a break from pick up. I think a lot of my problems are the girls I'm approaching or talking to aren't attracted to me at all. It would explain a lot, why they don't contact me, the flaking. However I probably have no idea how to attract a woman initially. All the stuff I've read mostly deals with how to increase attraction once it's established (or how not to lose attraction). Does anyone know any threads (or articles) dealing with how to create initial attraction?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I really need to learn how to create initial attraction in women
- Thread starter Kal0051
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
PlaysToWin
Don Juan
I'd say it can be summarised as:
- Look your best (groom, dress well, work out, etc)
- Appear confident
- Be fun
- Establish DHV
- Look your best (groom, dress well, work out, etc)
- Appear confident
- Be fun
- Establish DHV
How do you DHV? I get how to do the other stuff (although I do have to fake confidence sometimes), but DHV has always been unclear to me. I know that it means displaying higher value and I know why it's important. Just don't know how to get to that point.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
One word: confidence!Kal0051 said:Been thinking about why I fail so much since I'd taken a break from pick up. I think a lot of my problems are the girls I'm approaching or talking to aren't attracted to me at all. It would explain a lot, why they don't contact me, the flaking. However I probably have no idea how to attract a woman initially. All the stuff I've read mostly deals with how to increase attraction once it's established (or how not to lose attraction). Does anyone know any threads (or articles) dealing with how to create initial attraction?
Pimp-sicle
Master Don Juan
Kal0051 said:How do you DHV? I get how to do the other stuff (although I do have to fake confidence sometimes), but DHV has always been unclear to me. I know that it means displaying higher value and I know why it's important. Just don't know how to get to that point.
Kal: You remind me a lot of my good friend. Without seeing you or knowing you too well; I tell you that my friend is a good looking guy, he's funny and has ambition in life.
HOWEVER, he's akward in social situations and his humor is hard for most girls to get unless they really know him. As a result he also tends to over-analyze and have that "fake confidence" when were out and about.
Its one thing to look the part, but you better damn well be able to act the part too or she'll lose interest in you as quickly as possible.
From reading threads, I think you think about this $hit too much. Sure when you don't have success it becomes hard not to try to figure it out, but you rarely post specific conversations you have with girls or how you initially appraoched and went for the number closed. Without seeing EXACTLY what your doing in your initial meeting, its tough to say where your going wrong.
PIMP
I seems I'm similar to your friend from your description. I think I have posted some approaches and interactions with girl on here (though maybe it was someother site). Haven't been doing too many cold approaches lately, it's been over a month since I've really gone out. Been too busy with exams at the start of December and work since then (I think Xmas has been my only day off in 3 weeks). Not using that as an excuse however, hopefully I'll be able to get out sometime next week. And there's this newly single girl I know that I may practice on (she used to flirt with me a bit when she was in a relationship). Although I will have to watch out with that girl, there's this coke head that's obsessed with her and was waiting for her to be single.Pimp-sicle said:Kal: You remind me a lot of my good friend. Without seeing you or knowing you too well; I tell you that my friend is a good looking guy, he's funny and has ambition in life.
HOWEVER, he's akward in social situations and his humor is hard for most girls to get unless they really know him. As a result he also tends to over-analyze and have that "fake confidence" when were out and about.
Its one thing to look the part, but you better damn well be able to act the part too or she'll lose interest in you as quickly as possible.
From reading threads, I think you think about this $hit too much. Sure when you don't have success it becomes hard not to try to figure it out, but you rarely post specific conversations you have with girls or how you initially appraoched and went for the number closed. Without seeing EXACTLY what your doing in your initial meeting, its tough to say where your going wrong.
PIMP