"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I realize what has to happen...

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Somehow,someway,when this problem struck,it was a result of severe loneliness,depression,whatever. I was 16,didn't have a gf,and was convinced I was going to be lonely forever. I mean,it really struck me as that. It stayed with me for years. Engrained,now,I must work to get out of that. I have wasted too much time worrying about all this stuff,not working on myself enough. This post here made me rethink all this.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=83620
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Bogard

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So what's your specific problem? Is it that you're researching this stuff too much instead of going out there? And how old are you now?
 
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Well,my main problem(s),have been I am generally unhappy in/with life,I feel behind in many aspects,loneliness,not much of a social life,and not having sex as much as I'd like,or any at all even. And that going on for long periods of time. Even feeling unatractive.

I think my problem is,as you said,researching into it too much rather than going out. I only really go out when invited,as in someone put's something together.

I am 23.
 

Solomon

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CapedCrusader08 said:
Well,my main problem(s),have been I am generally unhappy in/with life,I feel behind in many aspects,loneliness,not much of a social life,and not having sex as much as I'd like,or any at all even. And that going on for long periods of time. Even feeling unatractive.

I think my problem is,as you said,researching into it too much rather than going out. I only really go out when invited,as in someone put's something together.

I am 23.

Dude, I'm only a year older then you, life is what you make it, you can complain like a little girl, or man up and go out there and face the world. We all are lonely at one point in our lives, do you think you gonna get women or better in life by sitting around b*tcing? hell no, stop it, Your mind is whats killing you, you have no swagger, your mindset is ruining you(positive thinking encompasses all!)! Start a new hobby, read books on spiritual enlightenment/body language/psychology, work out (whatever you need to do to get your confidence the fukk up!) go out to the store, cop a new shirt and some jeans, buy some new shoes, get a hair cut, and go out, you ain't even gotta "sarge" just go out, have a drink, chat up the bar tender, enjoy the ambiance, you to fuccing young to be crying about life, you in the fuccing prime of your life go out there and enjoy it!!

The next post I wanna read from you is something related to you picking up a new hobby or a field report, if it's not it don't bother, your KBJing is getting more and more sorry by the minute, we can give you advice but we can't change your life for you, you have to want change bad enough to take that step

Solo

What's worse failing because you never tried? or failing because you
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Ok. I will do that. Thing is, this thing is constant,so overcoming it seems very hard. Positive thinking is the hard part.
 

Dannyrt34

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Finally a half decent thread out of you caped. Looks like you're finally realizing you need to take action. It shouldn't matter how hard it is, the end result will be well worth it.
 
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Yeah.But I feel there is alot to undo. Alot of inner what if's and why's and why not's? I am still trying to contact a therapist,someone to help me sort whatever is bugging me and put it all into perspective. I mean,I realize how lazy and procrastinate I have become,and what it's done to me. I don't know what that's a result of,and that's what seems to be the hardest to get over. Plus I am worried about how much looking at porn has affected me over the years. I also realized something else,I think maybe taking some of what is discussed on here too internally,and has made me rather sexist. Something I am not sure if it bothers me or not. Today,I was in the bookstore,and was reading bvitch magazine,it was all b.s to me. It was all this feminism/pro-women's lib/independence or whatever,and it got to me. I now have disdained any and everything related to feminism and it's connotations.
 
E

Energizer

Guest
The problem with you is you are bored. Now, I don't know you, I know nothing about you. I've read five of yours posts and in these posts you know what your problem is, yet you do nothing about it. It's fine sitting there and saying "I need to do this in order to achieve this", but talk is cheap, action is more expensive and it seems you do nothing to change your situation. We can only offer advice, we cannot solve your issues for you and at 23 I would hope you would understand this. Keep yourself occupied, find some interests and go about your life without the need to have a woman in your life and one will magically appear somewhere down the line. They always do.
 

DJVladdy

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I wish I got a dollar for every time you use the word "realize"
I'd be rich by now
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

SuavePlaya

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Yeah you realized alot without going out on the field. The truth is you didn't realize nothing. It's like talking about how war would be like when you never went out in the battlefield. There is a huge difference between knowing and assuming. We all know which one you do all the time and that's assume u know sh1t. I mean you have these problems you are talking about, but show me one person that is perfect. Everyone has problems but they arent busy all day digging for more problems that's the difference between u and everyone you say have it better than you. To all the members can we stop replying to this guy we are only putting more wood into a big fire.
 

oakraiderz2

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Damn, youre STILL rambling on?!
 
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What can I say,I am in a hole I can't get out of,and have been in it for a long time. Why? I don't know. I have reasons why,I am stubborn,I have anxiety,I lack confidence,I keep creating scenarios in my head,I suffer from all the bad habits talked about on here,I am too average,I just don't have it,that flow or force that "makes them melt in you're hands in the throws of passion",and that greatly concerns,or,they'r is something inside of me I just cannot see.

As for being bored vs not,well again,work does that. But it feels more like an escape,and I didn't plan on things going on as long as they have. Plus,something happened they're recently that just drove the nail in a little deeper,not to me personally,but something moreso I know about,something I want some feedback on.

I mean,maybe I am just overthinking everything,and have even forgotten just how to go out and have fun and enjoy life.


Do I assume more or observe more?
 

Dannyrt34

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CapedCrusader08 said:
Do I assume more or observe more?
How the hell do you think we'll know the answer to that question?? We don't know you personally. You need to go somewhere else to get these questions answered, then come here when you're ready to take action.

I'm surprised of myself for not giving up on trying to help you yet.
 

Igetit!

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Dannyrt34 said:
I'm surprised of myself for not giving up on trying to help you yet.
Just be patient Danny. You'll get there.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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horaholic

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Do I assume more or observe more?
???????????????

How about about option #3:.....DO MORE! Or just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING.

Its like you are have been looking (not actively of course, that would require effort) for your glasses for years, while they've been on your head the whole time. Worse then that even, you've got a hundred fingers pointing straight at them.

You can lead a thirsty horse to water... You can dunk the goddamned things head under the water... You can take a fvcking hose, and shove it in its mouth and turn it on full blast. Nothing.

You're the fourth little piggy, who sticks his head right into the wolfs mouth, rather than even try to build a house.

If you were the little engine that could... you wouldn't roll DOWN the hill...with all of us pushing.
 

Metacomet

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CapedCrusader08 said:
Yeah.But I feel there is alot to undo. Alot of inner what if's and why's and why not's?

I already said this once.

Shut the fvck up and stop making threads.

Pitiful fvcking bullsh1t that none of us want to read or deserve to put up with.

You are the type of person who knows he is a pvssy and would rather get attention for it over and over than fix it. You are the type of person who makes themself sick on purpose because he's worthless and has nothing to offer.

Fvck off already. If this forum had actual moderators you'd have been banned a long time ago for this attention whoring bullsh1t.
 

Drewskie

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Solomon said:
Dude, I'm only a year older then you, life is what you make it, you can complain like a little girl, or man up and go out there and face the world. We all are lonely at one point in our lives, do you think you gonna get women or better in life by sitting around b*tcing? hell no, stop it, Your mind is whats killing you, you have no swagger, your mindset is ruining you(positive thinking encompasses all!)! Start a new hobby, read books on spiritual enlightenment/body language/psychology, work out (whatever you need to do to get your confidence the fukk up!) go out to the store, cop a new shirt and some jeans, buy some new shoes, get a hair cut, and go out, you ain't even gotta "sarge" just go out, have a drink, chat up the bar tender, enjoy the ambiance, you to fuccing young to be crying about life, you in the fuccing prime of your life go out there and enjoy it!!

The next post I wanna read from you is something related to you picking up a new hobby or a field report, if it's not it don't bother, your KBJing is getting more and more sorry by the minute, we can give you advice but we can't change your life for you, you have to want change bad enough to take that step

Solo

What's worse failing because you never tried? or failing because you
Exactly, when I first got here I felt sorry for you, now I don't even read your posts because it's the same repetitive stuff and it actually makes me feel down, which is the opposite of what this board is intended for.
 

Jaggs

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Metacomet said:
I already said this once.

Shut the fvck up and stop making threads.

Pitiful fvcking bullsh1t that none of us want to read or deserve to put up with.

You are the type of person who knows he is a pvssy and would rather get attention for it over and over than fix it. You are the type of person who makes themself sick on purpose because he's worthless and has nothing to offer.

Fvck off already. If this forum had actual moderators you'd have been banned a long time ago for this attention whoring bullsh1t.
:cheer:
 

FairShake

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Energizer said:
The problem with you is you are bored. Now, I don't know you, I know nothing about you. I've read five of yours posts and in these posts you know what your problem is, yet you do nothing about it. It's fine sitting there and saying "I need to do this in order to achieve this", but talk is cheap, action is more expensive and it seems you do nothing to change your situation. We can only offer advice, we cannot solve your issues for you and at 23 I would hope you would understand this. Keep yourself occupied, find some interests and go about your life without the need to have a woman in your life and one will magically appear somewhere down the line. They always do.
/thread.

Throw yourself into family, friends, work, church, hobbies. In that order. Even if you don't have a girl you will have some good friends, some good times, and not alot of time for you to worry.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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