"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I pissed off a girl at work and she made a harassment compliant against me

Speculator E

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No I said I will not do anything UNLESS she try try to reach out first. Like Tic TC said I will act like she is dead to me until then.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Maximus Rex

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I make good money in an office environment.
I asked three very specific questions? What is your vocation? What is your salary from said vocation? Do you like what you do?
 

Speculator E

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I asked three very specific questions? What is your vocation? What is your salary from said vocation? Do you like what you do?
I know. I'm not answering the first two. Job is a job but I like it. I have a back up job I can do from home.
 

hanni

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she's setting you up for a harassment/stalking lawsuit and you are helping her do so, sucker.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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HeadLightsOn

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I'm not uncomfortable. It's more annoying. You can't ban users just because they are incompetant.
My advice to you, and follow this carefully grasshopper, is the following:

- Aplogize publicly to this girl, within your workplace.
- Go to the appropriate bosses and let them know her complaint is valid and it was your fault not hers.
- Send her a card, or something special. Tell her how you feel. Express your emotions to her. Don't be afraid of being vulnerable. Just be you.
- Make sure she knows that all her actions were valid and ok. Make her feel special. She will open like a flower to you.

Hopefully you can then date this girl and get back on track. Who knows, you may even end up in an LTR/Engaged situation in a while.

Anyway. Best best, of luck.
 

Speculator E

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There's nothing done that has been my fault. She made a complaint because I didn't ask her out for New Years. I never did anything even remotely close to harassing her. She's not getting anything from me until she apologize first.
 

l__i__l

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She doesn't have a case if you play right.
What evidence does she have of you bothering her?
If there is no evidence - i.e no witnesses to your verbal behaviour, no sappy written communication from your end.
Deny it, it's her word against yours.
Then turn it around on her, file a complaint for being unlawfully accused.
 

badboyjmm

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So ***** is now worth losing your job... Quit being so eager for females bro.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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I am so glad now i passed on miss piggy reading stuff like this thank you rex. I feel like i lucked out. Last day at office i was walkin out she just said "alright" to me when i left i looked at her looked like her eye pupils were big i feel like i dodged a huge bullet. I hook up with her she tells boss i used her for sex i get in trouble so yeah it wasnt worth it.
 

Tictac

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I am so glad now i passed on miss piggy reading stuff like this thank you rex. I feel like i lucked out. Last day at office i was walkin out she just said "alright" to me when i left i looked at her looked like her eye pupils were big i feel like i dodged a huge bullet. I hook up with her she tells boss i used her for sex i get in trouble so yeah it wasnt worth it.
How many log-ins are you running?
 

Packers2010

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rule one wigga.

DO NOT **** WHERE YOU EAT.

IE don't hit on coworkers. it's ALWAYS going to end badly. ( there are exceptions to every rule, you are not one of them)
 

devilkingx2

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This is the best thread on sosuave. I'm not sure how we can top this, but we'll find a way

On topic: kidnap her from her home at night and lock her in your dungeon. A few days in a dark windowless place should allow her to come around to your side when youre feeling merciful enough to let her out, I think its called "Stockholm syndrome" and it's quite romantic.

If that doesn't work then you're gonna need to watch the movie saw 2. You'll know what to do after that.

Trust me, itll work. Good luck ;)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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logicallefty

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I have been through this kind of stuff at work, and let me tell you something, TRUST NOBODY. You want to fight this like you mean it?? Then read below.

- EMAIL your supervisor AND your HR department and advise them that your legal advisor suggests that any and all future correspondences about this matter be in writing ( So who is your legal advisor? Right now, you are your own legal advisor, "pro se". But this statement will make them think you have a lawyer even though you likely don't. They will assume you do. Legally you can always be your own "legal advisor" and call yourself such. It makes people think you have hired a lawyer and they get scared.. )

- Write up a letter with your side of the story with as much detail as possible.

- In the letter, say that you want a copies of the letter and all attached Exhibits put in your personal file at work, and that you will be reviewing your file in the near future to make sure this happens

- In the letter, advise that you want the chick advised to never speak to you again at work, and that you want written proof that she was advised such

- Find any tangible evidence you might have to help give your side of the story, like any text messages. Print screen shots of them and include them with your letter as "Exhibit A", "Exhibit B", etc.

- Number all of the pages of the packet, 1 of 20, 2 of 20, etc. Sign your full signature next to each page number

- Get he letter Notarized

- Send the entire packet of papers to your supervisor and the HR Director via certified US Mail


So now you have documented your side of the story and your employer knows you are serious about these allegations and are not screwing around.

The other things you have done outside of work are good too. if you seriously even think about dating this chick again, you are one damn fool, but I don't think you are that stupid.

Best of luck.
 

visions

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The poor OP is in Betaville. I haven't posted on SS in years but i couldn't resist after reading this. SMH
 

HeadLightsOn

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I have been through this kind of stuff at work, and let me tell you something, TRUST NOBODY. You want to fight this like you mean it?? Then read below.

- EMAIL your supervisor AND your HR department and advise them that your legal advisor suggests that any and all future correspondences about this matter be in writing ( So who is your legal advisor? Right now, you are your own legal advisor, "pro se". But this statement will make them think you have a lawyer even though you likely don't. They will assume you do. Legally you can always be your own "legal advisor" and call yourself such. It makes people think you have hired a lawyer and they get scared.. )

- Write up a letter with your side of the story with as much detail as possible.

- In the letter, say that you want a copies of the letter and all attached Exhibits put in your personal file at work, and that you will be reviewing your file in the near future to make sure this happens

- In the letter, advise that you want the chick advised to never speak to you again at work, and that you want written proof that she was advised such

- Find any tangible evidence you might have to help give your side of the story, like any text messages. Print screen shots of them and include them with your letter as "Exhibit A", "Exhibit B", etc.

- Number all of the pages of the packet, 1 of 20, 2 of 20, etc. Sign your full signature next to each page number

- Get he letter Notarized

- Send the entire packet of papers to your supervisor and the HR Director via certified US Mail


So now you have documented your side of the story and your employer knows you are serious about these allegations and are not screwing around.

The other things you have done outside of work are good too. if you seriously even think about dating this chick again, you are one damn fool, but I don't think you are that stupid.

Best of luck.
Very good post. And it contains sage advice. OP needs to look into this.
 

Speculator E

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Update:

Girl is warming up but still giving the silent treatment. However she keeps walking pass by my office space more often lately. Wearing tight clothes when she knows I'll be around. It's a lot of indicator of interest. But when I ask her today if she wanted to talk and she just shakes her head. Still it's an improvement over her angrily shouting at me last time. So far I'm been in no contact until today.

Why is she still putting up resistance? Does she want me to chase?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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