Speculator E
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 6, 2007
- Messages
- 627
- Reaction score
- 155
No I said I will not do anything UNLESS she try try to reach out first. Like Tic TC said I will act like she is dead to me until then.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I asked three very specific questions? What is your vocation? What is your salary from said vocation? Do you like what you do?I make good money in an office environment.
I know. I'm not answering the first two. Job is a job but I like it. I have a back up job I can do from home.I asked three very specific questions? What is your vocation? What is your salary from said vocation? Do you like what you do?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
My advice to you, and follow this carefully grasshopper, is the following:I'm not uncomfortable. It's more annoying. You can't ban users just because they are incompetant.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
How many log-ins are you running?I am so glad now i passed on miss piggy reading stuff like this thank you rex. I feel like i lucked out. Last day at office i was walkin out she just said "alright" to me when i left i looked at her looked like her eye pupils were big i feel like i dodged a huge bullet. I hook up with her she tells boss i used her for sex i get in trouble so yeah it wasnt worth it.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Very good post. And it contains sage advice. OP needs to look into this.I have been through this kind of stuff at work, and let me tell you something, TRUST NOBODY. You want to fight this like you mean it?? Then read below.
- EMAIL your supervisor AND your HR department and advise them that your legal advisor suggests that any and all future correspondences about this matter be in writing ( So who is your legal advisor? Right now, you are your own legal advisor, "pro se". But this statement will make them think you have a lawyer even though you likely don't. They will assume you do. Legally you can always be your own "legal advisor" and call yourself such. It makes people think you have hired a lawyer and they get scared.. )
- Write up a letter with your side of the story with as much detail as possible.
- In the letter, say that you want a copies of the letter and all attached Exhibits put in your personal file at work, and that you will be reviewing your file in the near future to make sure this happens
- In the letter, advise that you want the chick advised to never speak to you again at work, and that you want written proof that she was advised such
- Find any tangible evidence you might have to help give your side of the story, like any text messages. Print screen shots of them and include them with your letter as "Exhibit A", "Exhibit B", etc.
- Number all of the pages of the packet, 1 of 20, 2 of 20, etc. Sign your full signature next to each page number
- Get he letter Notarized
- Send the entire packet of papers to your supervisor and the HR Director via certified US Mail
So now you have documented your side of the story and your employer knows you are serious about these allegations and are not screwing around.
The other things you have done outside of work are good too. if you seriously even think about dating this chick again, you are one damn fool, but I don't think you are that stupid.
Best of luck.
1) Why do you even care? Even if she wants you to chase, this girl is NOT worth your timeWhy is she still putting up resistance? Does she want me to chase?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.