I'm 24 years old and still live with my mom. I'm talking to this chick i've met on POF and she wants to come to my crib on the first date. Shes all about relationships and blah blah blah. I've mentioned why not I come to her crib and she said NO (she lives with her parents). I had to be straight up honest with her that I don't think my mom would like me bringing some girl that I'm not even dating. Point is, It's time to look for a new place. I've never brought over a girl to my house and I feel I've never get in a serious relationship with the living situation I'm in. Is there even a point of dating or even talk to girls because of this? I hate thinking like this but it is one major hurdle of being real successful with women.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I need my own place - BIG FAIL!
- Thread starter NYCJoey22
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I moved out on my own before I had a car. If I could turn back the hands of time I would get the car first. You don't really want a strange pof chick in your house before you met her anyways, not street smart. She could be casing your house for her burglar boyfriend, never know.
Well the solution is simple, move out. You stated in your post that you need your own place, so why not get one.
As to whether or not there is a point of dating or not. Why the hell not, what do you have to lose, if she is driven to away by your living arrangements, on to the next one.
As to whether or not there is a point of dating or not. Why the hell not, what do you have to lose, if she is driven to away by your living arrangements, on to the next one.
I'm 24 and live with my folks and never had an issue.
I just don't have the money to live on my own, simple as that.
Most kids my age who don't live with their parents live either with their gf/bf or roomates which I refuse to do. I want to be able to live alone. If i'm dependent on someone else for the rent, and they lose their jobs, or we have a falling out, I'm screwed.
Don't hinder yourself by thinking you can only score chicks if you have your own place.
I just don't have the money to live on my own, simple as that.
Most kids my age who don't live with their parents live either with their gf/bf or roomates which I refuse to do. I want to be able to live alone. If i'm dependent on someone else for the rent, and they lose their jobs, or we have a falling out, I'm screwed.
Don't hinder yourself by thinking you can only score chicks if you have your own place.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
I second what MisterD said plus your 24 years old, you have plenty of time. It can suck if you dont have your own place and want to bring over girls but look at it from the other side.. We're living in a new sh*tty economy where things arent so great (and probably going to get alot worse) so would you rather be in your situation or... Have your own place but struggling just to get by? then you wont have time to worry so much about bringing a girl over because you'd be wondering what to do if you got let go from your job. Your here in NYC also, you already know how expensive it can get here so dont worry about it so much and just keep on spinning some girlies. F*ck it, if its a girl just for fun then maybe get a hotel, if you get a girl horny enough she'll do whatever lol i remember taking a girl out to the movies,... i got her so turned on i banged her in a apt building hallway lol anyway... seriously... worry about getting your Money together first and proceed from there.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
If your username is any indication of the city you live in, I sure hope you have a lot of money.
I was looking into moving to NYC a few months back. WOW! Rent is literally 2-2.5 times what I find in Chicago. I found a small but fairly decent (not great) 1 bed/1 bath apartment in the Financial District. It was more expensive than the same sq foot studio at arguably the nicest high-rise in Chicago (Trump Tower - where Derrick Rose, Patrick Kane, and many celebrities live). I couldn't believe it.
Anyway, I haven't lived at home since leaving for college (aside from 2 summers I came home on break). I can't imagine trying to pick up girls if I had to bring them back to my parents house. It's definitely possible to still pull girls, but that is a huge hurdle. At your age, you are at the point where it is expected that you have your own place. A few years back it would have been an extra bonus. Now, it's just expected.
And I agree with the above post. Something almost fishy about her asking for your first date to be at your place.
I was looking into moving to NYC a few months back. WOW! Rent is literally 2-2.5 times what I find in Chicago. I found a small but fairly decent (not great) 1 bed/1 bath apartment in the Financial District. It was more expensive than the same sq foot studio at arguably the nicest high-rise in Chicago (Trump Tower - where Derrick Rose, Patrick Kane, and many celebrities live). I couldn't believe it.
Anyway, I haven't lived at home since leaving for college (aside from 2 summers I came home on break). I can't imagine trying to pick up girls if I had to bring them back to my parents house. It's definitely possible to still pull girls, but that is a huge hurdle. At your age, you are at the point where it is expected that you have your own place. A few years back it would have been an extra bonus. Now, it's just expected.
And I agree with the above post. Something almost fishy about her asking for your first date to be at your place.
Thanks for the feedback guys. Yeah, I'm trying to get my money right before making a huge step in having my own crib. The girl is kinda all over the place on what she wants to do. She really thought I was "full of it" when I was being honest about my living situation and we've been aruging over it (stupid stuff). Maybe I went overboard about not talking to girls over this. I guess they will just have to accept the fact that they can't come over for the time being (even though it pains me to say it)
This is simply not true. Especially now with the economy, many young people (and i mean people in their 30s as well) are either staying home or moving back in with their parents because they cant afford the cost of livingPDubb75 said:
It couldn't be more true around me. I don't know anyone moving back in with their parents, and my only friend still living at home is my only friend that didn't go to college and has no job.MisterD said:
Maybe I was wrong to generalize that as a whole. But that has been what I have seen in Chicago. I figured that was the norm.
I live in westchester county just outside of nyc, we probably pay the highest taxes in the country, or at the very least, one of the highest. no one i know lives alone. some live with roomates, but they don't have their own placePDubb75 said:
my neighbor is 26, getting married in 2 weeks, graduated with a masters in education, her and her fiance are living with her parents until they save up and buy a place.
it's flat out impossible for a young person in this economy to do it alone. and when i say roomates i don't mean 1 or 2, i mean 3 or 4 sharing rent.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Yeah, well that goes along with what I was saying about what I found in NYC. So, maybe that is how it is there. Don't know of it like that anywhere else, though.
I have 8 friends in NY. Six in Manhattan, one in Queens, and one in White Plains. Seven of them live on their own (most with roommates, but still). The only one living at home now is only there because her boyfriend broke up with her and kicked her out of their place.
So, based on that, I figured it was the same as what I was seeing in Chi. I didn't know how they could afford it, but they are.
I have 8 friends in NY. Six in Manhattan, one in Queens, and one in White Plains. Seven of them live on their own (most with roommates, but still). The only one living at home now is only there because her boyfriend broke up with her and kicked her out of their place.
So, based on that, I figured it was the same as what I was seeing in Chi. I didn't know how they could afford it, but they are.
And as far as I'm concerned if you're living with roommates then you're not actually living on your own.MisterD said:
When my girl asked why I still live at home I simply told her the truth: I'm taking all the money I'd be spending on rent and saving it up for a house instead. That was good enough for her.
The only time it becomes an issue is when time goes by when neither of us can get my or her house to ourselves and we're both getting horny as ****. We do have a getaway to a friend's cabin planned in the near future but right now I'm 'bout ready to just get us a hotel room for a night just so that we can get it on.
Gray The Prince
Master Don Juan
MisterD said:
Not true at all. I'm 4 years your junior and only have 1 roommate right now. Moving into a place by myself in August. Yes, I come from a poor family and no, mom lives 350 miles away and dad lives about 280.
It's a pretty hard thing to do, I will admit but DEFINITELY not impossible.
Yeah i don't pay rent living with my parents, so I'm saving up for my own place. i'm too set in my ways to live with other people or depend on their half of the money to keep me living there. i also value my privacy and love my alone time so i'm not into the whole roomate deal.Zerro said:
Right, but this is Texas right? Or somewhere down south in general? I'm talking about living 20 minutes outside of new york city, in one of the richest counties in the countryGray The Prince said:Not true at all. I'm 4 years your junior and only have 1 roommate right now. Moving into a place by myself in August. Yes, I come from a poor family and no, mom lives 350 miles away and dad lives about 280.
It's a pretty hard thing to do, I will admit but DEFINITELY not impossible.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Yep. And compared to rural downstate Illinois, Chicago is 2-3 times as expensive as that. There are a lot of places down here where $350/month will get you a house. I'm guessing that parking spaces in NYC can cost more than that, so the OP should not be too hard on himself.PDubb75 said:
There are plenty of women who have their own place. Every girlfriend of mine always did, and even though I did too, we always ended up at her place. Try for college girls; they have dorm rooms.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.