"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I need my own place - BIG FAIL!

NYCJoey22

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I'm 24 years old and still live with my mom. I'm talking to this chick i've met on POF and she wants to come to my crib on the first date. Shes all about relationships and blah blah blah. I've mentioned why not I come to her crib and she said NO (she lives with her parents). I had to be straight up honest with her that I don't think my mom would like me bringing some girl that I'm not even dating. Point is, It's time to look for a new place. I've never brought over a girl to my house and I feel I've never get in a serious relationship with the living situation I'm in. Is there even a point of dating or even talk to girls because of this? I hate thinking like this but it is one major hurdle of being real successful with women.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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cola

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I moved out on my own before I had a car. If I could turn back the hands of time I would get the car first. You don't really want a strange pof chick in your house before you met her anyways, not street smart. She could be casing your house for her burglar boyfriend, never know.
 

Blurry

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Well the solution is simple, move out. You stated in your post that you need your own place, so why not get one.

As to whether or not there is a point of dating or not. Why the hell not, what do you have to lose, if she is driven to away by your living arrangements, on to the next one.
 

MisterD

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I'm 24 and live with my folks and never had an issue.

I just don't have the money to live on my own, simple as that.

Most kids my age who don't live with their parents live either with their gf/bf or roomates which I refuse to do. I want to be able to live alone. If i'm dependent on someone else for the rent, and they lose their jobs, or we have a falling out, I'm screwed.

Don't hinder yourself by thinking you can only score chicks if you have your own place.
 

In2theGame

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I second what MisterD said plus your 24 years old, you have plenty of time. It can suck if you dont have your own place and want to bring over girls but look at it from the other side.. We're living in a new sh*tty economy where things arent so great (and probably going to get alot worse) so would you rather be in your situation or... Have your own place but struggling just to get by? then you wont have time to worry so much about bringing a girl over because you'd be wondering what to do if you got let go from your job. Your here in NYC also, you already know how expensive it can get here so dont worry about it so much and just keep on spinning some girlies. F*ck it, if its a girl just for fun then maybe get a hotel, if you get a girl horny enough she'll do whatever lol i remember taking a girl out to the movies,... i got her so turned on i banged her in a apt building hallway lol anyway... seriously... worry about getting your Money together first and proceed from there.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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PDubb75

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If your username is any indication of the city you live in, I sure hope you have a lot of money.

I was looking into moving to NYC a few months back. WOW! Rent is literally 2-2.5 times what I find in Chicago. I found a small but fairly decent (not great) 1 bed/1 bath apartment in the Financial District. It was more expensive than the same sq foot studio at arguably the nicest high-rise in Chicago (Trump Tower - where Derrick Rose, Patrick Kane, and many celebrities live). I couldn't believe it.

Anyway, I haven't lived at home since leaving for college (aside from 2 summers I came home on break). I can't imagine trying to pick up girls if I had to bring them back to my parents house. It's definitely possible to still pull girls, but that is a huge hurdle. At your age, you are at the point where it is expected that you have your own place. A few years back it would have been an extra bonus. Now, it's just expected.

And I agree with the above post. Something almost fishy about her asking for your first date to be at your place.
 

NYCJoey22

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Thanks for the feedback guys. Yeah, I'm trying to get my money right before making a huge step in having my own crib. The girl is kinda all over the place on what she wants to do. She really thought I was "full of it" when I was being honest about my living situation and we've been aruging over it (stupid stuff). Maybe I went overboard about not talking to girls over this. I guess they will just have to accept the fact that they can't come over for the time being (even though it pains me to say it)
 

MisterD

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PDubb75 said:
At your age, you are at the point where it is expected that you have your own place. A few years back it would have been an extra bonus. Now, it's just expected
This is simply not true. Especially now with the economy, many young people (and i mean people in their 30s as well) are either staying home or moving back in with their parents because they cant afford the cost of living
 

PDubb75

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MisterD said:
This is simply not true. Especially now with the economy, many young people (and i mean people in their 30s as well) are either staying home or moving back in with their parents because they cant afford the cost of living
It couldn't be more true around me. I don't know anyone moving back in with their parents, and my only friend still living at home is my only friend that didn't go to college and has no job.

Maybe I was wrong to generalize that as a whole. But that has been what I have seen in Chicago. I figured that was the norm.
 

MisterD

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PDubb75 said:
It couldn't be more true around me. I don't know anyone moving back in with their parents, and my only friend still living at home is my only friend that didn't go to college and has no job.

Maybe I was wrong to generalize that as a whole. But that has been what I have seen in Chicago. I figured that was the norm.
I live in westchester county just outside of nyc, we probably pay the highest taxes in the country, or at the very least, one of the highest. no one i know lives alone. some live with roomates, but they don't have their own place

my neighbor is 26, getting married in 2 weeks, graduated with a masters in education, her and her fiance are living with her parents until they save up and buy a place.

it's flat out impossible for a young person in this economy to do it alone. and when i say roomates i don't mean 1 or 2, i mean 3 or 4 sharing rent.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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PDubb75

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Yeah, well that goes along with what I was saying about what I found in NYC. So, maybe that is how it is there. Don't know of it like that anywhere else, though.

I have 8 friends in NY. Six in Manhattan, one in Queens, and one in White Plains. Seven of them live on their own (most with roommates, but still). The only one living at home now is only there because her boyfriend broke up with her and kicked her out of their place.

So, based on that, I figured it was the same as what I was seeing in Chi. I didn't know how they could afford it, but they are.
 

Zerro

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MisterD said:
This is simply not true. Especially now with the economy, many young people (and i mean people in their 30s as well) are either staying home or moving back in with their parents because they cant afford the cost of living
And as far as I'm concerned if you're living with roommates then you're not actually living on your own.

When my girl asked why I still live at home I simply told her the truth: I'm taking all the money I'd be spending on rent and saving it up for a house instead. That was good enough for her.

The only time it becomes an issue is when time goes by when neither of us can get my or her house to ourselves and we're both getting horny as ****. We do have a getaway to a friend's cabin planned in the near future but right now I'm 'bout ready to just get us a hotel room for a night just so that we can get it on.
 

Gray The Prince

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MisterD said:
I live in westchester county just outside of nyc, we probably pay the highest taxes in the country, or at the very least, one of the highest. no one i know lives alone. some live with roomates, but they don't have their own place

my neighbor is 26, getting married in 2 weeks, graduated with a masters in education, her and her fiance are living with her parents until they save up and buy a place.

it's flat out impossible for a young person in this economy to do it alone. and when i say roomates i don't mean 1 or 2, i mean 3 or 4 sharing rent.

Not true at all. I'm 4 years your junior and only have 1 roommate right now. Moving into a place by myself in August. Yes, I come from a poor family and no, mom lives 350 miles away and dad lives about 280.

It's a pretty hard thing to do, I will admit but DEFINITELY not impossible. :D
 

MisterD

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Zerro said:
And as far as I'm concerned if you're living with roommates then you're not actually living on your own.

When my girl asked why I still live at home I simply told her the truth: I'm taking all the money I'd be spending on rent and saving it up for a house instead. That was good enough for her.

The only time it becomes an issue is when time goes by when neither of us can get my or her house to ourselves and we're both getting horny as ****. We do have a getaway to a friend's cabin planned in the near future but right now I'm 'bout ready to just get us a hotel room for a night just so that we can get it on.
Yeah i don't pay rent living with my parents, so I'm saving up for my own place. i'm too set in my ways to live with other people or depend on their half of the money to keep me living there. i also value my privacy and love my alone time so i'm not into the whole roomate deal.

Gray The Prince said:
Not true at all. I'm 4 years your junior and only have 1 roommate right now. Moving into a place by myself in August. Yes, I come from a poor family and no, mom lives 350 miles away and dad lives about 280.

It's a pretty hard thing to do, I will admit but DEFINITELY not impossible. :D
Right, but this is Texas right? Or somewhere down south in general? I'm talking about living 20 minutes outside of new york city, in one of the richest counties in the country
 

Bible_Belt

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PDubb75 said:
I was looking into moving to NYC a few months back. WOW! Rent is literally 2-2.5 times what I find in Chicago.
Yep. And compared to rural downstate Illinois, Chicago is 2-3 times as expensive as that. There are a lot of places down here where $350/month will get you a house. I'm guessing that parking spaces in NYC can cost more than that, so the OP should not be too hard on himself.

There are plenty of women who have their own place. Every girlfriend of mine always did, and even though I did too, we always ended up at her place. Try for college girls; they have dorm rooms.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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