"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I need motivation......
- Thread starter Demon
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
pilot0001
Senior Don Juan
For me, working out is a good place to start if I need to pick my life up. It raises my self esteem high enough to be more strict with my diet. Then everything else seems to follow suite. Even if for just a short time I find it's worth it.
MagiKMaK
Don Juan
(do a search on google groups or browse these forums) and if you don't, just take a caffeine pill or two or drink 2-4 cups of coffee... I'm sure you'll find the motivation you need, you'll be itching to expel energy in anyway possible.enkai
Senior Don Juan
Just do it!
The most important thing, I think, is to be patient and persistent. There are times when I just got fed up things and the enthusiasm withered for a moment. But you have to persist, or just force yourself to make the initial move and take that step--
Just do it and keep going..eventually you will build momentum. Keep pushing and remember why you are doing what you are and what you want to achieve.
If you follow your feelings, it will bring you down. Force yourself.
It has to come from within...no amount of motivational comments can make a real difference to your desire...you've heard the saying "you can only lead a horse to water.."
Anakin
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
SHUT THE PHUCK UP! Dorks like you make me sick. You sound like a phucking woman. is it that time of the month? I can tell youre the type of pencil dic geek i see at the gym who is always standing around the universal machine doing half reps with that lame ass bench press. After that you go and talk to your friend for 10 minutes. But you do look cool with your oversized leather weight lifting belt and your padded leather "hardgainer" gloves and your awesome wrist wraps that you even use when you bench press, dork!
Just stop lifting all together and start jogging. You will always be a pvssy, PVSSY!
Drifter
Senior Don Juan
What the hell Vioriod.... you are contributing to the reason this site has gone to hell.
downing on him wont make him feel better. Try giving him some advice instead of flaming him, like some others I see did....
that perfectionist advice, yeah that applies to me definately.
good advice man.
xyzzy
Senior Don Juan
Some people need a kick in the pants to get off their ass and do something in their lives. Demon sounds like such a pussy... whaaaaah I wanna be big but Im too lazy to spend some time doing it.
Its like in the Simpsons.... "You know son if its too hard to learn how to do, its not worth doing".
Anyway Demon, if what you post is real and youre not just trying to be an attention wh0re, just take a few weeks off but make it a mindset to get back on track. With 1690 posts you definitely need to get out and say hello to Mr. big shining yellow ball in the sky every once in a while.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
My financial situation has some hiccups. Once those are out, I can finally get a gym membership, but right now, motivation to do anything is down the lou. I don't even feel like sleeping but I do it anyway since I have nothing else to do.
willo
Don Juan
Do you have a job dude?
What do you do in the week?
It sounds like you just sit at home all week, bored wallowing in self pity. A hint from someone who has been a bum, get a job, go to school and do something constructive. These 3 things do wonders for self confidence and energy levels. I have more energy now doing 125% normal credit load at university, working 3 jobs all the while maintaining some kind of social life.
If only someone had told me a couple of years ago; but i guess these things are better found out through experience.
There's a good quote I saw in the gym that goes something like this, "The past cannot be changed but the future is unknown. Now is a gift which is why it's called the present." The future is unknown... what will happen at this girl's house is unknown. She's a good friend of mine and has been for quite awhile. I know of all that talk about friends zone, etc., but it was me that told her "we're just friends." That gives me the power to change it.
Oh, I don't wallow in self-pity. I do stumble through it quite a bit. I told my best friend that he's not a friend anymore when I was extremely drunk. He told me that he will always call me his friend even if I don't think of him the same way. I have to apologize but I'm still dwelling on it.
I won't be when I apologize though.