You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If she does b) and lies about seeing another guy how is OP supposed to know that she is lying so as not to trust her?pyros said:I would ask her about it.
By doing this she can either:
a) confess she's seing some other guy
b) lie about the fact that she is seing another guy
c) tell you another reason you did not even think about it
If she does a) or b) you know you cant trust her, so up to you.
.[/U][/I]
sylvester the cat said:If she does b) and lies about seeing another guy how is OP supposed to know that she is lying so as not to trust her?
Surely b) and c) are one and the same?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Jaylan said:EDIT: just saw OPs update.
Dude bail. If this girl is guilt tripping you and saying things that bother you, just bail. Plus shes hiding her online status, especially when thats your main mode of talking. I would just beat her to the punch and leave.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She has what's called the contrast effect... Which means she is internally comparing you to someone who you are in competition with. Also track her cycle...soulforge said:This is the first girl I've gotten serious about in ages... I, m feeling kind of hurt to be honest..
Did I do something bad? She said something that pizzed me off and upset me, so I called her out on it..
I have been nice to her, looked after her... but that does not mean I will tolerate bad behaviour!
Then she twist it all around and make me out to be insensitive and uncaring.. She accused me of not treating her like a guest in my house..
I have cooked many meals for this chick, looked after her everytime she came over.. then she throws this accusation in my face!!
I,m feeling somewhat hurt man!!!
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I wouldnt be surprised if you picked a fight as 'payback' because you spent the build-up to the date stressing over the fact she doesn't give you the constant attention you crave.soulforge said:My doubts about this girl are developing even further.. she stopped at my house at the weekend..
She said said something to me that pizsed me off, so I called her on it... anyhow she started to guilt trip me, claiming I am not sensitive about her feelings and I should treat her better, as she is a guest in my house..
Guest or no guest, if a girl dis respects me or pissess me off, then I, m going to call her out.. simple as that!!
She then tried her best to manipulate me into believing it was all my fault, and I hurt her feelings.. I have so far treated this girl pretty good.. taken her out, cooked for her etc etc
Now she claims I,m not nice to her... I get the feeling this girl could be a manipulater...
She is acting distant on whatsapp, not talking as much..
even tho I like her.. 2 months in.. I, m thinking off dropping this chick.. I am sensing trouble ahead..
Also I met this chick on POF
We didnt even have the argument till the saturday night... she stopped over at my place from friday afternoon.. so get it right pal..OnTheRun said:I wouldnt be surprised if you picked a fight as 'payback' because you spent the build-up to the date stressing over the fact she doesn't give you the constant attention you crave.
Maybe this girl wasn't on Whatsapp for a few hours because she's a grown-up with a life? Maybe when she arrived at your house she expected to meet a grown man she could have a good time with, but- perhaps not for the first time- you were mardy and childish and made her feel uncomfortable?