Gonna keep this short and sweet. Been hanging out with an ex who recently admitted to still liking me, missed me very much, but says her life is such a mess right now that pursuing a relationship would be stupid. The next time I saw her she was very nice and cordial but somewhat cold as well. Is this hot and cold behavior and does anyone have any advice?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I like you, I miss you, but....
- Thread starter Ackles
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Drumzarecool
Don Juan
Don't do it.
MOTU
Master Don Juan
Yea dude. You know where things end with this chick. Why waste your time? Go find some new chicks that you don't have the bad history with.
Now, if you can emotionally stand, you could use the ex as an occasional cvm dump, but most guys find too much comfort in the familiar and catch feelings again. Be careful.
Now, if you can emotionally stand, you could use the ex as an occasional cvm dump, but most guys find too much comfort in the familiar and catch feelings again. Be careful.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'd say that 95% of the time you can negate anything a person says before the word 'but.'
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
OP
I'm in exactly the same position. My ex phrased it as 'I'm getting to know you again and I want to take it slow' after saying all this shot about how in so important to her.
Her reason was the same (a lot of **** going on-which is true but it doesn't change things)
Know what I did? Yesterday I went NC and moved on. Anybody who makes excuses needs to be NEXT. Stop hanging with her and move on with your life, NC for the win.
I'm in exactly the same position. My ex phrased it as 'I'm getting to know you again and I want to take it slow' after saying all this shot about how in so important to her.
Her reason was the same (a lot of **** going on-which is true but it doesn't change things)
Know what I did? Yesterday I went NC and moved on. Anybody who makes excuses needs to be NEXT. Stop hanging with her and move on with your life, NC for the win.