Gonna keep this short and sweet. Been hanging out with an ex who recently admitted to still liking me, missed me very much, but says her life is such a mess right now that pursuing a relationship would be stupid. The next time I saw her she was very nice and cordial but somewhat cold as well. Is this hot and cold behavior and does anyone have any advice?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I like you, I miss you, but....
- Thread starter Ackles
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Drumzarecool
Don Juan
Don't do it.
MOTU
Master Don Juan
Yea dude. You know where things end with this chick. Why waste your time? Go find some new chicks that you don't have the bad history with.
Now, if you can emotionally stand, you could use the ex as an occasional cvm dump, but most guys find too much comfort in the familiar and catch feelings again. Be careful.
Now, if you can emotionally stand, you could use the ex as an occasional cvm dump, but most guys find too much comfort in the familiar and catch feelings again. Be careful.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I'd say that 95% of the time you can negate anything a person says before the word 'but.'
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
OP
I'm in exactly the same position. My ex phrased it as 'I'm getting to know you again and I want to take it slow' after saying all this shot about how in so important to her.
Her reason was the same (a lot of **** going on-which is true but it doesn't change things)
Know what I did? Yesterday I went NC and moved on. Anybody who makes excuses needs to be NEXT. Stop hanging with her and move on with your life, NC for the win.
I'm in exactly the same position. My ex phrased it as 'I'm getting to know you again and I want to take it slow' after saying all this shot about how in so important to her.
Her reason was the same (a lot of **** going on-which is true but it doesn't change things)
Know what I did? Yesterday I went NC and moved on. Anybody who makes excuses needs to be NEXT. Stop hanging with her and move on with your life, NC for the win.