Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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I have PROOF GOD EXISTS!!!

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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Jariel

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Erm, that just shows how well mankind has adapted to the land - i.e. evolution.

And I can't really imagine God sitting there on the day of creation thinking "Hmmm, I'll give this yellow thing a tab, just like those soda cans mankind will invent millions of years in the future".

Personally, I'm just willing to accept that our existence and origin is far too complicated for a human mind to comprehend. Just like a shark or earwig could never comprehend or imagine politics, economics or linguistics, humans can't possibly comprehend what lies beyond their existence.
 

amoka

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That's soooo gay.... Did you all noticed how this dube was holding the banana and pilling it? Damn gay....
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Shiftkey

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Seems like a better arguement for evolution than creationism.

Now explain to me how the simple smile is universal in all cultures if evolution is true.
Chimps smile too. It's a trait that stayed with us as we evolved from them.
 

Deep Dish

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piranha45

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ITS A JOKE YOU TOOLBAGS. QUIT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY.

The movie is a parody of creationist arguments.
 

Slevin

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piranha45

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holy ****.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Deep Dish

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Slevin said:
I was just about to say that after watching many of creationist videos and hearing their arguments (I came from a fundamentalist background), creationism and parodies of creationism are virtually indistinguishable and that I wouldn't be surprised if the guy was deathly serious.
 

Deep Dish

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Helter Skelter said:
I didn't think anyone could be that dumb.
I am always reminded of a quote by Michael Shermer: smart people believe in weird things because they are better skilled at defending their beliefs which they arrived at for less than smart reasons.
 

Helter Skelter

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Deep Dish said:
I was just about to say that after watching many of creationist videos and hearing their arguments (I came from a fundamentalist background), creationism and parodies of creationism are virtually indistinguishable and that I wouldn't be surprised if the guy was deathly serious.
Hilarious!
Deep Dish, I think, I want to have your statement
engraved in stone or something. I've never heard it put so well. :D
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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whistler

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Holy shit!

The guy on the right is Kirk Cameron, the guy from Growing Pains.

If he's there.. this definitely isn't a joke.
 

Panda 2000

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I can prove to you God exists. Just look at this picture.
How could Michelangelo have photographet God with a camera if God doesn't exist, you explain that to me. He also painted quite a few portraits of God (and of Abe Lincoln, but that's another thing) and how could he have painted them if God wasn't there?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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