"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
"I have a boyfriend"
- Thread starter nibun
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
VeryBadGirl
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He said "Oh" and left. I was cracking up.
Giovanni Casanova
Master Don Juan
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Yeah, it was me. Look what you missed out on.
Heh, guys, the funny thing is that I would never WANT to date a girl that already had a "boyfriend" or some guy she was regularly seeing. Girls have to ditch the guy she's with if she wants a chance with me. But these things are fun to say anyway.
Possibles comebacks of comebacks
Why? Do you like gay people?
Right then, but have you ever heard about "good taste"?
It there anyway, l could be your boyfriend?
"No"
Great, l dont date lesbians anyway.
But he is not here, so treat me well and maybe l help you dumping he
Whats wrong in not being a dumb guy?
I not even know you, and you calling me as 'boyfriend', cummon, stop being so picky
For godsakes stop, you making me horny
ESPN
[This message has been edited by ESPN (edited 03-05-2002).]
VeryBadGirl
Master Don Juan
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
"I have a boyfriend" - don't bother.
"I'm seeing someone" - potential. Up the Jerky quotient.
So someone with a "boyfriend", yeah, I wouldn't bother. But anything less is potentially ambigous.
VeryBadGirl
Master Don Juan
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There are a few kinds of places there. Many of the bars cater to a college/post-college typical crowd. You know all those packs of girls who wear the same exact outfit as all their friends and all have the exact same hairstyle? If you want to meet them - I usually find some *b*tchy or boring but many are pretty hot - then you should go to Crush or Heaven on 18th St. Cheesy but great for macking.
Some more chill bars (which I prefer) are Millie and Al's and Toledo Lounge. Also, for pool, I like Bedrock Billiards, (on Columbia Ave) but if you want to score some coke or other drugs, you go to Kokopoulis for pool. (All on 18th Street)
A "hipper" bar with a great mood for a date is Chi-Cha's on U street. Good wine and atmosphere. Another cool, "hip" place on 18th is the Rendezvous Lounge.
If you like the club scene, The Nation in the southeast is the place to go. I was there this weekend. There was so much macking going on at that place - I was glad my BF was there to keep guys away. There is also a new club called Dream that I haven't been to yet. I've heard mixed reviews from others.
For the cheapest beer (dive) the place to go is the Common Share on 18th -always packed. If you want REALLY drunk girls, Dan's Cafe on 18th is the place to go. They don't mix the drinks for you, they just give you a bottle of liquor and some pepsi to do what you will with. That's always packed too.
A lot of people in DC have placed that they go to all the time, so you will probably start seeing regulars if you go often enough.
[This message has been edited by VeryBadGirl (edited 03-05-2002).]
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
SoSuave.com
Administrator
Gideon
Guest
Just say "Oh?...That's O.K. He's
not invited!"
Atratus
Don Juan
You: "Great, so do I. And do you know what he said before i went out tonight. Imbrondir, if you meet somebody you find exciting, I won't stand in your way. Don't you just love his open attitude? ;-).
(Credit - Style - mASF)
You: "Cool, when's the wedding"
(as MOTU said earlier this thread)
You: "Does your boyfriend deny you making new friends?"
(Some dude in the DJ-bible)
You: "That's sad <pause> FOR YOU
!"(Some dude in DeAngelo's newsletter)
If you haven't really shown any real interest, this is gold:
You: "I'm sure this is a great accomplishment for you, but for the rest of this world we usually don't spread this info to every stranger we meet"
(I love DeAngelo's newsletter
)"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
k_hectic
Don Juan
Because, while you were sincere about it, a lot of women do it to test how serious a man is in pursuing them.
I learned that when a lady told me she was with her husband, then saw her later dirty dancing with 3 different guys and leaving with one of them.
The next time a girl told me she had a boyfriend, I asked her "where is he?", "what is he doing?", etc... And, then continued talking about other subjects as if I wasn't intimidated at all. But every now and then, I would bother her with something like "you know, your boyfriend must be out with another lady by now", "you know, it's cool you're giving your boyfriend space, that's how I like my woman to be". She just laughs or give me the "Shocked church lady" look. Priceless.
jaysgt
Don Juan
HER: i have a B/F
ME: Really I have two G/F you better catch up
HER: oh my god (look on her face was the shyt)
ME: well hes not the jealus type is he
HER: yeah he is i hate it
ME: well see why you need a man like that.
HER: yeah i know
ME: hey you were gonna write your number
HER: here you go yes its the real number! (i made sure)
is it a test sometimes i think it is sometimes not. you just have to judge.
I read this one in Men's Health (in Nicole Beland's Ask the Girl Next Door section).
"Hey, if you ever dump your boyfriend, give me a call / look me up." If said with friendliness and confidence (+ the right amount of ****iness) it will do miracles for you. I have used it on one taken girl in a class of mine I was trying to game for a while (but stopped because the b/f thing was too much of an obstacle for me); however, on the last day of class, as people were saying their goodbyes, I walked over to her, smiled, said the-above-line, and left...
2 months later she called to schedule a date with me.
Ever meet a really hot girl in a bar and within minutes of chatting, she throws in "i have a boyfriend", or "my boyfriend says..."? They automatically assume we're hitting on them (OK. we are..). Women have to let us know that they are in demand.
Thats fine.
i like to beat them to the punch.
When i meet a girl and start chit-chat, i try to slip into the conversation, "my girlfriend always says...", or if i'm sitting with a friend and a hot girl is in ear shot, i'll talk about my 'girlfriend' and my friends will play along and keep the charade going about how did i ever land such a young, beautiful, nice girl like her, she's truly one in a million. Your the luckiest guy on earth, etc (i'm single by the way).
Woman perk right up when hearing this. Maybe because it's their own material being used on them, or they want the guy another girl already has, or they want what they think they cant have, etc. Sometimes i'll flirt/compliment them in the same sentence with the 'girlfriend' line.
"You look at me the same way my girlfriend does... it was the 1st thing that attracted me to her", something like that. confuses the HELL out of them, and at the same time intrigues them.
Every little bit helps.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.