Its my body. As simple as that, my looks are fine, that doesnt matter IMO. But my body is keeping me from talking to the women I want to talk to. Is there any way to keep the way I look in the back of my mind?
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I found out why im scared of approaching.
- Thread starter HandyAndy
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
WC2
Master Don Juan
I can't say I was ever embarrassed of the way I look, I've always been in very good shape- BUT I do have nights where I feel a little less confident.. maybe it's something I'm wearing or the fact that I forgot to put on my favorite cologne.. who knows.
Anyways, just keep in the back of your mind that a good looking guy with no sociability can only get so far with a quality woman.
You MUST have confidence in yourself. Without confidence, your inner game is going to be lacking big time. I'm sure you can think of about 10 - 15 things that make you better than other men out there. Think of these things when you're feeling down on yourself.
Besides that, get in the gym! I've seen guys get themselves in shape from being very out of shape.. boy do I wish I had the confidence they are riding on right now.
Anyways, just keep in the back of your mind that a good looking guy with no sociability can only get so far with a quality woman.
You MUST have confidence in yourself. Without confidence, your inner game is going to be lacking big time. I'm sure you can think of about 10 - 15 things that make you better than other men out there. Think of these things when you're feeling down on yourself.
Besides that, get in the gym! I've seen guys get themselves in shape from being very out of shape.. boy do I wish I had the confidence they are riding on right now.
What do you mean your body? Go to the gym. There is no magic pill that's going to give you a six pack.HandyAndy said:Its my body. As simple as that, my looks are fine, that doesnt matter IMO. But my body is keeping me from talking to the women I want to talk to. Is there any way to keep the way I look in the back of my mind?
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
MooseGod
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2007
- Messages
- 785
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- 11
ElStud FTW!!! lmao
What's wrong with your body? Are you too fat? Too skinny? As long as you don't look like a contestant on The Biggest Loser or a holocaust victim, you've got nothing to worry about.
I used to think I was too lanky, until I watched some spaghetti westerns and realized, "Hey, Clint Eastwood's tall and skinny, and he's still a badass." So now I don't think of myself as skinny, I'm wiry. Rangy. Whatever. And still I can hit the gym to add more muscle if I feel like it.
I used to be a fat kid in high school until I went on the Atkins diet one summer and grew about 4 inches. I was self conscious then too. Then I got out of HS and found out pretty much all the girls I "liked" had crushes on me too, even when I was chunky. Why? Because of my attitude. My personality. What was missing then? The balls to make a move.
The point is, it doesn't matter what you look like. Unless you're just butt-ugly. Even then, it's all about the attitude. I used to work with a guy with a hare-lip (cleft palate if you wanna be PC) and he still pulled ass.
What's wrong with your body? Are you too fat? Too skinny? As long as you don't look like a contestant on The Biggest Loser or a holocaust victim, you've got nothing to worry about.
I used to think I was too lanky, until I watched some spaghetti westerns and realized, "Hey, Clint Eastwood's tall and skinny, and he's still a badass." So now I don't think of myself as skinny, I'm wiry. Rangy. Whatever. And still I can hit the gym to add more muscle if I feel like it.
I used to be a fat kid in high school until I went on the Atkins diet one summer and grew about 4 inches. I was self conscious then too. Then I got out of HS and found out pretty much all the girls I "liked" had crushes on me too, even when I was chunky. Why? Because of my attitude. My personality. What was missing then? The balls to make a move.
The point is, it doesn't matter what you look like. Unless you're just butt-ugly. Even then, it's all about the attitude. I used to work with a guy with a hare-lip (cleft palate if you wanna be PC) and he still pulled ass.
Litmus test for self-confidence about your body: stand in front of a long mirror naked, point at the guy staring back at you, and say, "This guy kicks major ass."
Can you pass the test?
I'm guessing no. Most guys can't. What do they do? And what should you do? Start eating healthy and workout. Visit the Health & Fitness forum. Develop a passion for eating healthy and staying fit. Not only will it boost your self-confidence, it will become part of your identity.
If you do decided to start eating healthy and staying fit, take this one small advice from me. Set goals. Realistic goals. Small goals. Nothing is more self-assuring and fulfilling than setting goals and achieving them every week in the gym. It's mind-blowing, my friend.
Can you pass the test?
I'm guessing no. Most guys can't. What do they do? And what should you do? Start eating healthy and workout. Visit the Health & Fitness forum. Develop a passion for eating healthy and staying fit. Not only will it boost your self-confidence, it will become part of your identity.
If you do decided to start eating healthy and staying fit, take this one small advice from me. Set goals. Realistic goals. Small goals. Nothing is more self-assuring and fulfilling than setting goals and achieving them every week in the gym. It's mind-blowing, my friend.
I started going everyday from monday, im following a diet and im limiting my junk food. I cant even remember when I stopped drinking soda. Im just gonna keep working hard towards my goal. I dont like the person looking back at me in the mirror. My AA would be drastically reduced if I know im in shape and not a slob
ready123
Master Don Juan
at least you've figured out what your cognitive block is
you're thinking that because of your body, there's no way the girl is gonna be attracted to you. like Moosegod said that's only true if you have absolutely nothing going for you. you'll understand that later in life
either way, keep with the workout / diet plan. not only will you indirectly improve your social life, it will also de-anchor all the AFC thoughts that are coupled with a poor self-image
you're thinking that because of your body, there's no way the girl is gonna be attracted to you. like Moosegod said that's only true if you have absolutely nothing going for you. you'll understand that later in life
either way, keep with the workout / diet plan. not only will you indirectly improve your social life, it will also de-anchor all the AFC thoughts that are coupled with a poor self-image
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.