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I fatshamed my mom into oblivion

sosousage

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I know this is bad but i dont care if she doesnt like me and its clearly cause i care about her


whenever i see fat greasy person on the street i feel instant disgust and i believe most people feel the same at least on subconscious level


so im kinda saving my mom

?? thoughts
 

GrowingPains

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One thing I've learned, especially from being on here...

Is that you can't just tell someone their problem and expect them to change. You have to get someone to realize their problem and lead them towards the answer. Only then will they truly understand and want to change.

What I've learned is they have to want to change. Meaning, you give very very little advice, and they have to set their ego aside (many men cant do this). You just listen. And ask questions. Where will this path take you? Where do you want to be? Etc etc.

I think the problem is that we want to help the people we care about, so much so that we end up doing quite the opposite. This is done by exercising patience, and waiting for the right questions by them. Advice must be minimal, and it is better if they issue the advice themselves.
 

Serenity

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What do you do if you're attacked? You raise your shields and/or fend off the attack, then you reinforce yourself! Most of the time it's fight or flight when you approach something aggressively.

Shaming will in most cases do the opposite of what many people think it will. You think they'll feel so bad about it that they'll change, wrong! They won't fight their weight, they'll reinforce their view and fight you instead.

I tried for years changing my mother for her own good, lead to nothing other than unnecessary drama and stress. You CANNOT change someone who is determined to not change. If they want to change then shaming is still not the solution, that's still the worst thing you could do.

You should spend way more time supporting and reinforcing good behavior than shaming bad ones.

The only thing you achieved was to alienate your own mother, the only thing she'll change is your presence in her life. If she ever does lose weight you'll have an even harder time reconnecting, because it certainly wouldn't be because of you.
 

Julian

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lurk here every so often. had to login and let op kno he is a major lowlife for disrespecting his mom like that. re evaluate what your doing kid. hurting your mother isnt anything to brag about like an edgy little phaggot.
 

sosousage

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lurk here every so often. had to login and let op kno he is a major lowlife for disrespecting his mom like that. re evaluate what your doing kid. hurting your mother isnt anything to brag about like an edgy little phaggot.
She got officially nexted
 

sosousage

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lurk here every so often. had to login and let op kno he is a major lowlife for disrespecting his mom like that. re evaluate what your doing kid. hurting your mother isnt anything to brag about like an edgy little phaggot.
she said her weight is none of my business but I assumed that was a shi.t test
 

logicallefty

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After my mom got border line diabetes I would nag on her about what she ate but to directly shame her for her weight (which was overweight but not obese) I would never go there. Only thing i would do is attack the food , but not her.
 

Chev.Chelios

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lololol

neither your mom's hot and her orbiters buy you stuff or inherit their loot when they die

or ur mom's fat and she gives all her attention to you, all how u look at it

personally I like me a fat momma who only has me to talk to because emotional security is important

...idk wtf I just wrote
 

marmel75

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Chev.Chelios

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but fatties can't ignore their sons cause they don't have options
 

dustmuffin

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Your mom knows she is fat. You didn't have to shame her. That just caused hard feelings. A better way would have been to ask her out for a walk on a regular basis.
 

corrector

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My mother is close to Jesus is excited about Him all the time and tells others about Jesus when she's out. She's not fat. If your mom gets saved, maybe she'll lose her weight too because she'll love Jesus more than food like she does now.
 

Chev.Chelios

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how does one have a fat mom and a slim ex
 
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