Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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I don't know what to do with my life and I'm not happy

nelysses

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It may be a bit long, thank you to everyone who reads.
I am a 22-year-old medical student living in Türkiye. The economy is not in the country, mine is average too, but when you become a doctor you earn more than 90% of the country. But my situation is not financial.

I don't know if it's because I've been fap for years, but I feel exhausted for everything. Nothing satisfies me anymore. I get bored of every situation I'm in. I want something but if I get it I get bored. And this happens in all subjects. My whole life has become school-home-sports. The rest of the time I kill time on the computer (all my friends went to different cities for university, but I didn't like being with them before they left, now I miss them. This is the dissatisfaction I'm talking about.)
I have very close friends, but when I'm not invited somewhere I get offended by this situation without any reason. But if I'm invited somewhere all the time, I start to get bored.
I'm in such a ridiculous situation.

I was bad with girls. Then I found a few girls, lost my virginity, but I realized that they weren't what I wanted. I couldn't have fun, I couldn't be satisfied.
A while passed and now I realize that I still want it. But I know that I won't be happy in that situation either.

I'm not happy with any situation I'm in. Based on the sentence "Christopher Columbus was happy when he was looking for America, not when he found it", I know that happiness isn't about having something, but I can't do it.
In addition to not being happy, I don't have a goal. That's the real problem. I'm so empty that I'm constantly overthinking etc. I get attached to people. I read books, do sports, make music, but whatever I do doesn't turn out the way I want it to.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Plinco

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It may be a bit long, thank you to everyone who reads.
I am a 22-year-old medical student living in Türkiye. The economy is not in the country, mine is average too, but when you become a doctor you earn more than 90% of the country. But my situation is not financial.

I don't know if it's because I've been fap for years, but I feel exhausted for everything. Nothing satisfies me anymore. I get bored of every situation I'm in. I want something but if I get it I get bored. And this happens in all subjects. My whole life has become school-home-sports. The rest of the time I kill time on the computer (all my friends went to different cities for university, but I didn't like being with them before they left, now I miss them. This is the dissatisfaction I'm talking about.)
I have very close friends, but when I'm not invited somewhere I get offended by this situation without any reason. But if I'm invited somewhere all the time, I start to get bored.
I'm in such a ridiculous situation.

I was bad with girls. Then I found a few girls, lost my virginity, but I realized that they weren't what I wanted. I couldn't have fun, I couldn't be satisfied.
A while passed and now I realize that I still want it. But I know that I won't be happy in that situation either.

I'm not happy with any situation I'm in. Based on the sentence "Christopher Columbus was happy when he was looking for America, not when he found it", I know that happiness isn't about having something, but I can't do it.
In addition to not being happy, I don't have a goal. That's the real problem. I'm so empty that I'm constantly overthinking etc. I get attached to people. I read books, do sports, make music, but whatever I do doesn't turn out the way I want it to.
I suspect there's a lot of whim worshiping. I could be wrong, but one suggestion I have for you is to limit the amount of screen time.

Another suggestion is to do a lot of writing. That will give you a better idea of who you are and what you need to do.
 

SW15

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You are not happy because you are not getting pussie.

You might get more more pussie when you have doctor income.

Turkey is less of a Westernized country compared to the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Western Europe.

A beta bucks effort would work better in a non-Western market. Additionally, women in more traditional cultures tend to appreciate more ordinary men like yourself.

Your fapping habit is sabotaging your chances. Do no porn and no masturbation. I do that.
 

nelysses

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You are not happy because you are not getting pussie.

You might get more more pussie when you have doctor income.

Turkey is less of a Westernized country compared to the United States, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Western Europe.

A beta bucks effort would work better in a non-Western market. Additionally, women in more traditional cultures tend to appreciate more ordinary men like yourself.

Your fapping habit is sabotaging your chances. Do no porn and no masturbation. I do that.
Actually, I had the same idea. In fact, I was still a virgin when I thought about it. Then I found a few girls, we had some experiences, etc. but I realized that this doesn't satisfy me either. I don't enjoy it.
 

Plinco

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You are not happy because you are not getting pussie.
This is the wrong mentality. There are a lot of people who use sex as a tranquilizer, like a drug. The lack of sex is not your problem. Happiness is the natural state that a rational person is in after both effective and sufficient productivity.


You might get more more pussie when you have doctor income.
That might be transactional mentality.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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SW15

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That might be transactional mentality.
Money is one of the factors in attraction/seduction (looks, money, status, personality).

In the conventional mating market, there are plenty of higher income men that get laid primarily based on their incomes. There are plenty of medical professionals, higher level business professionals, and lawyers who use their higher incomes to get laid/get a girlfriend. They will buy luxury cars, have a nice home, and possibly even buy a boat in order to attract a woman.

Some might even directly pay for sex. That's common for higher income men, but I'd rather focus the comments around men paying for sex indirectly in conventional mating.

There are plenty of high earning men with long term girlfriends or wives who only got these girlfriends/wives based on their higher incomes and spending a lot of money to impress women with gifts/possessions.
 

BaronOfHair

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Nothing satisfies me anymore...
This is true for almost everyone living in Türkiye/The Near East more generally these days. Being puzzled as to why you're experiencing anomie in such a stifling environment is no less insane than me feigning ignorance as to why my stomach lining is shot to beyond all repair, despite the fact that I've spent my entire life slathering almost every meal with black pepper and Tobassco sauce
 

zekko

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I'm not happy with any situation I'm in. Based on the sentence "Christopher Columbus was happy when he was looking for America, not when he found it", I know that happiness isn't about having something, but I can't do it.
In addition to not being happy, I don't have a goal. That's the real problem. I'm so empty that I'm constantly overthinking etc. I get attached to people. I read books, do sports, make music, but whatever I do doesn't turn out the way I want it to.
How can you be a medical student and not have a goal? Seems like that's a pretty big goal in itself.

I have a couple of things to say about this. The first is what I always think when I hear someone is happy, and that's I'm wondering if they have God in their life. I think people need to address their spiritual needs. We're not supposed to talk religion here, so I'll just leave it at that.

The other thing is I remember when I was a young man, I was not happy either. I actually had to learn how to become happy, I was in the habit of being unhappy. Get out of the habit of having negative thoughts. Take up an attitude of gratitude for what you have. Count your blessings. It sounds like you have more going for you than you realize.
 

corrector

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I go to bed at 5am in the morning waking up at 8am, being a caregiver for aging parents is hard and worst than taking care of two kids, my folks expect me to go shopping for them when they ain't no money, but my momma say the Lord will provide our needs and will go on a tantrum if I don't get what she wants, and she ain't listening to what I'm saying despite getting less pay and having to manage with less....so if you are complaining to have some man talk discussion, then I hope I've outcomplained you. I don't fap by the way or watch porn. Things may seem bad, but they are not that bad to go there yet. I want to reserve porn for a really bad day (ie missing the Rapture is exempted as a definition of a bad day)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Clockwerk50

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I go to bed at 5am in the morning waking up at 8am, being a caregiver for aging parents is hard and worst than taking care of two kids, my folks expect me to go shopping for them when they ain't no money, but my momma say the Lord will provide our needs and will go on a tantrum if I don't get what she wants, and she ain't listening to what I'm saying despite getting less pay and having to manage with less....so if you are complaining to have some man talk discussion, then I hope I've outcomplained you. I don't fap by the way or watch porn. Things may seem bad, but they are not that bad to go there yet. I want to reserve porn for a really bad day (ie missing the Rapture is exempted as a definition of a bad day)
Are you open to the idea of putting them in a government long care home?
 

corrector

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Are you open to the idea of putting them in a government long care home?
No. As a net I'm better off the way things are. Any adjustments will just make things worst. I just said that things are going good enough that I'm not looking at porn. If the OP is looking at porn because his life sucks, then it sounds like I'm even doing better than a med school student...go figure?
 
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