ARrocket
Master Don Juan
Happens all the time in various settings. Anybody have a (moderately?) successful way of dealing with it?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
What vatoloco said.vatoloco said:Smile and say: "Thanks for your time, sweetheart."
Turn around and head the other way.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
^^^ Listen to this man.Iceberg said:What vatoloco said.
If it's a challenge to get her number, just imagine the effort you'll have to put into getting her on a date.
Don't waste your time.
A successful way of dealing with it....as in getting the girl's number?ARrocket said:Happens all the time in various settings. Anybody have a (moderately?) successful way of dealing with it?
If youre getting this regularly is means you are messing up pretty bad earlier during the interaction. Figure out what that is and this problem will start to go away. And stop asking for a number and instead as her what's a good way to keep in touch. You'll stop setting off her "he's just trying to pick me up" red flag.ARrocket said:Happens all the time in various settings. Anybody have a (moderately?) successful way of dealing with it?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Nutz said:If youre getting this regularly is means you are messing up pretty bad earlier during the interaction. Figure out that is and this problem will start to go away. And stop asking for a number and instead as her what's a good way to keep in touch. You'll stop setting off her "he's just trying to pick me up" red flag.
ARrocket said:Happens all the time in various settings. Anybody have a (moderately?) successful way of dealing with it?
This single line give a logic and emotional answer at the same time, I see the reason while at the same time a deep sense of discomfort came in my mind imagining the situation.Iceberg said:What vatoloco said.
If it's a challenge to get her number, just imagine the effort you'll have to put into getting her on a date.
Don't waste your time.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Smile and tell her to be open-minded. She'll probably have a come-back. Make a game out of it, then tell her if she's going be like that you revoke your offer to hang out, but actually mean it. Leave if you have to. Then forget about her and move on with your life, maybe you'll cross paths again, maybe not, but you'll have a good chance of escalating with her if you do.ARrocket said:Happens all the time in various settings. Anybody have a (moderately?) successful way of dealing with it?
incognito42 said:Why make a tame of it? Why use any of these come back PUA lines you guys are suggesting? To save your ego? She's not interested, don't waste another word or second in front o her. Just walk away
There's nothing neutral about her saying she doesn't give out her number. It's called rejection. I didn't say throw your drink in her face and get angry. just walk off. Is it really "fun" to keep conversating and gaming a chick who has no interest? If I wanna have fun I'll walk up to a new chick or go back to hanging out with my boys. The only thing you're doing if you keep talking (other than coming off as desperate and maybe pathetic) is trying to cushion a possible blow to your ego, or you're completely missing her polite way of seeing "I'm not interested"Chickfight said:Cause it's fun. That's an example of what I might say in that situation. It's all a game after all. The game's over when you decide it's not fun anymore. It doesn't have to end after a girl says "I don't give out my number". It may be time to take a step back, but I don't see how spending any more time with her is waste. It's a lot easier having a good time while doing this stuff. Walking away after she says something so neutral and not even slightly rude just shows how much it effected you. Seriously, you were the one going up to HER, you might as well just say "Gee, I thought it would be a lot easier to bang you than this, maybe the next girl I approach with the same lines will be easier. I'm out"Just comes off as bitter and childish to me and if you ever saw her again she'd see you the same way.
incognito42 said:There's nothing neutral about her saying she doesn't give out her number. It's called rejection. I didn't say throw your drink in her face and get angry. just walk off. Is it really "fun" to keep conversating and gaming a chick who has no interest? If I wanna have fun I'll walk up to a new chick or go back to hanging out with my boys. The only thing you're doing if you keep talking (other than coming off as desperate and maybe pathetic) is trying to cushion a possible blow to your ego, or you're completely missing her polite way of seeing "I'm not interested"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.