"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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I don't get out much...

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ItsOnNow

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Other than say work, or going out shopping, I don't get out much. This is part of my problem. I have always had problems like "I can't do it, I'm a loser, I lack this or that,I'm not special or exceptional", etc. I see all these other people who seem to be, and that's why they have the girl(s), the money, the job, the power. I am here, just a regular guy. This what I am up against. I don't know if I have that drive, that survival. This is what scares me, esp when it comes to starting a family at some point.I haven't been focusing on improving, working out, being happier, confident, etc. I have to find a way.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Nygard

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Dont bother telling something. He's either a troll or someone desperate for some attention and pity. If you're not a troll, read this: we cant help you. Google "social Anxiety forum".
 

MrS

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Join the army. No, joke.

Do something that will give you value in life. Not to others, to yourself.
Gain some self respect, self esteem.
 

vagrant

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Give yourself a goal. Things like owning a car if you don't already have one. If you want a girlfriend that could be your goal too. Then work on getting your goals. And don't forget to read the DJ Bible. You really need to start from the bottom I think.

Once you find out what a real man should be, you'll be on the right path automatically. Be a man dude. It's not about what you can't do. It's about what you wanna do. You can do anything. Don't give up bro. I've been in your shoes before!~
 

ItsOnNow

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I do give myself goals. I always have, yet, I don't seem to fulfill them for many reasons. One being anxiety of sorts. Yeah, getting a solid,steady gf has been a goal for me, but I have never had, well, I feel anything to offer. Or I should be asking, what can they offer me? I haven't started, I have been on the bottom for so long it feels, that the top is a long ways off.

Plus, I am convicned, I am depressed, like majorly. What can I do to get over it? I have the symptoms.http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/depression.php
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Ken785

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ItsOnNow said:
Other than say work, or going out shopping, I don't get out much. This is part of my problem. I have always had problems like "I can't do it, I'm a loser, I lack this or that,I'm not special or exceptional", etc. I see all these other people who seem to be, and that's why they have the girl(s), the money, the job, the power. I am here, just a regular guy. This what I am up against. I don't know if I have that drive, that survival. This is what scares me, esp when it comes to starting a family at some point.I haven't been focusing on improving, working out, being happier, confident, etc. I have to find a way.
So...im guessing Its NOT On Now?? ahaha :D

jk bro...well try to find some people in your area to wing with and get out there and get social man...
 

Ken785

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ItsOnNow said:
Other than say work, or going out shopping, I don't get out much. This is part of my problem. I have always had problems like "I can't do it, I'm a loser, I lack this or that,I'm not special or exceptional", etc. I see all these other people who seem to be, and that's why they have the girl(s), the money, the job, the power. I am here, just a regular guy. This what I am up against. I don't know if I have that drive, that survival. This is what scares me, esp when it comes to starting a family at some point.I haven't been focusing on improving, working out, being happier, confident, etc. I have to find a way.
DP...sorry bro.
 

Huffman

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You don't know if you have that drive?
Go out and do something extreme! This will awaken your drive for sure!

Some time ago, I decided to visit my parents by bike (~110 miles). I had never done such a tour before. I didn't even have a proper map. Worse yet, heavy headwind.
I was NOT sure if I would make it. At about 60 miles, I felt like I was finished for good.
But there was no turning back. I emptied the bottle and hit the road. It was on now.

After what seemed like an eternity, I arrived at my parents' house, with a terrible pain in my butt - and a huge grin on my face.

P.S.: while it might not sound too extreme, back then for me it sure was! And I still smile when I remember it.
 

DarthAngel707

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another pity thread.

you had me at, "I'm a loser." You don't want to get better.

Here's a tip: The more you post pity threads, the more you reinforce yourself as a loser.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ItsOnNow

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I know. My mind is locked on this, and it's something I take too seriously and I turn it into something more than what it is. I try not to pity myself, but I am having trouble letting go.
Like I can't even make the effort to have positive thoughts.


It's this feeling of not having the right skills I guess. The seduction skills if you would. The sweet/dirty talk, game, confidence, etc.
 

Paradox

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This question has been answered....several times here and in other threads.

Closed.
 
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