"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I Didn't Feel Like Going to the Cinema with Her, Then She Asked Her Ex

Fela Kuti

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A couple of weeks ago, my GF asked me to accompany her to watch "Jumper". Since I wasn't interested, I told her that I didn't want to, except if my ticket's paid by her. She was disappointed by this. Later that day, she texted me that she's going with her ex because all of her friends were busy. WTF, I think. But then I told her to go ahead since I thought it'd cruel to forbid her when I wasn't available myself, and she asked me first before him.

How did I handle this situation?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Shyyhs

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Well, since everyone here plays the paranoid card, I'd say, goto the movies, get a ticket, hide in the back in black clothes and spy on her. It'll be like Grade 4 all over again. Give glaring looks at her the whole time. Make sure you wear sun glasses.

Possibly throw popcorn and candy at them.
 

ZenGodMod

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Fela Kuti said:
A couple of weeks ago, my GF asked me to accompany her to watch "Jumper". Since I wasn't interested, I told her that I didn't want to, except if my ticket's paid by her. She was disappointed by this. Later that day, she texted me that she's going with her ex because all of her friends were busy. WTF, I think. But then I told her to go ahead since I thought it'd cruel to forbid her when I wasn't available myself, and she asked me first before him.

How did I handle this situation?
You've done the right thing! There is no need to feel guilty about it, or fear the any consequences.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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DonGorgon said:
Exactly .. Women always have other options when you dont act accordingly.... That andn PU$$Y is how they maintain power in relationships

It's a good thing he didn't take Shyyhs advice and spy. I would have freaked if I was spying on my girl and saw her giving this guy a BJ.
 

Fela Kuti

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DonGorgon said:
Exactly .. Women always have other options when you dont act accordingly.... That andn PU$$Y is how they maintain power in relationships
so do you thing i didn't act accordingly by refusing to accompany her to watch a movie I wouldn't like that would've costed me some bucks?
 
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Fela Kuti said:
so do you thing i didn't accordingly by refusing to accompany her to watch a movie I wouldn't like that would've costed me some bucks?

If she asked you to the movie, she has to pay. Whoever asks pays the fee. Is she broke or something?
 

DonGorgon

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Fela Kuti said:
so do you thing i didn't act accordingly by refusing to accompany her to watch a movie I wouldn't like that would've costed me some bucks?
That is subjective to women not acting accordingly means not doing what they want when they want for as long as they want....

You should do what you think you need to do to get what you want from her.
 

Fela Kuti

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My Name is Nobody said:
If she asked you to the movie, she has to pay. Whoever asks pays the fee. Is she broke or something?
I've already proposed this idea to her but she said that it'd be useless/unfair since she's willing to watch any movie and pay for it, unlike me.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Fela Kuti said:
I've already proposed this idea to her but she said that it'd be useless/unfair since she's willing to watch any movie and pay for it, unlike me.

Then why are you *****ing about having to pay if she is willing?
 

ZenGodMod

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My Name is Nobody said:
Then why are you *****ing about having to pay if she is willing?
Enough bullying the kid, his a bit confused. His done nothing wrong, his just not sure his done the right thing which is driving him wild.

Hey you did the right thing!

Even if she gives the ex, head, oral or the whole body work up, it'll be good riddance to the worthless beatch when you find out.

Stick to your guns, be a man, don't allow yourself to shiver over something this small.
 

Fela Kuti

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My Name is Nobody said:
Then why are you *****ing about having to pay if she is willing?
I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say or I didn't made myself clear (English is not my first language). Either way, I'll re-explain the situation:

1) She said that she's willing to pay for HERSELF for every movie I'm going to ask her to go to because she's basically interested on all kinds of film. So she rejected the idea that I proposed because it will only work for my advantage since I'm the one who's selective about what movie to watch.

2) I proposed the idea AFTER I rejected her offer to watch Jumper.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Jitterbug

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Fela Kuti said:
I can't go to a cinema by myself, too. In fact, who could? Must be rare.
I can, and I know plenty of people, women included, who do. It's not that rare. In a cinema, you don't talk to anyone, so there's no difference whether you're there by yourself or with someone else.

I think your GF is just using "my friends are all busy" as an excuse to hang out with her ex and to "punish" you. It is very disrespectful. If she highly valued your relationship, she would never do this just because she wanted to see a crappy movie.
 

Fela Kuti

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Punishing? Yeah, I thought about that too! It's her way of revenge, I think. But believe me, she's not the type of person who'd go to a cinema alone. She'd rather not watching a movie rather than to watch it alone.
 

Jitterbug

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Fela Kuti said:
Punishing? Yeah, I thought about that too! It's her way of revenge, I think. But believe me, she's not the type of person who'd go to a cinema alone. She'd rather not watching a movie rather than to watch it alone.
Is she the type of person who would have a problem with you going on a date with your ex? Because that's what this is, essentially. Unless you're a really good friend with her ex, this isn't what girls do, when they're in a relationship that they actually value.

Is her ex a guy who showered her with gifts and paid for everything?

In your case, it's a bit too late to voice your disapproval of her going to the cinema with her ex, as you told her you're cool with it, so you'd be going back on your words. Just make sure that kind of disrespect doesn't happen again.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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