I built it, they didn't come

[Poonani Maker]

We all yearn to be loved, but sometimes you just need Jesus. Let the Lord be your confidant, your own personal, not anyone else's. If you are filled with the Spirit, then you are you, something to behold. People notice a living breathing man, who makes no qualms, lets his speech lie where it may. His yeas and his nays.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I'm betting that you have an IQ over 140. The logical analytical types aren't typically seductive traits to women. When I experience dry spell, I down a few drinks (I'd swear that it temporary lowers the IQ by at least 20 points). As a result, I find that getting laid is much *much* easier.

 

[allergictobs]

This is kind of depressing lol

I don't see it that way - it's just life's realities. The vast majority of men have to pay for sex with attractive women in one form or another. Just to be clear, when I mentioned escorts, I don't mean the hooker in the street corner, I mean the top ones with model-tier looks. It's not an unpleasant experience.

That being said, of course I would prefer a stable sex life with a woman who wants to be with me for other reasons. But like I wrote earlier - and this is important - I'm mainly after sex, not companionship or love. It's always been this way with me. I don't think I've ever loved any woman, and I don't really find much common ground with them. I adore the female body and feminine behavior, but I don't really care what a woman thinks of me or whether we bond.

To put it bluntly, my ideal relationship is one where she provides unlimited sex (of her own free will, of course), and other than that, we don't interact much (she lets me focus on my own life, I let her do the same). I had a LTR exactly like this in my 20s. I have a strong urge to just dominate (subtly), in pretty much everything in life (sports, work, etc.). I think this makes me a bit extreme compared to most other men, based on what I've observed throughout life.

 

[user43770]

You're an introvert with fomo. Get over the fomo

 

[allergictobs]

You are in your late 30s, 5'9 and bald, did I get it correctly?

If thats the case, thats enough for most western women to avoid you especially if you aim at pre wall ones (which you should).

Correct, and this is true especially online. However, you can easily paint an overly negative image by framing it like that. In real life, I'm slightly shorter than average, but physically very fit. A shaved head works well for my rugged/athletic look. With age has come higher social status and financial success. See, suddenly not looking too bad? You can paint the picture in many ways

But yes, I agree that those qualities reduce my chances of dating younger women.

Still, I'm very sure about one thing: physical appearance is not the source of my problems. Quite the opposite, I've always viewed my looks as an advantage. My main problem, that I'm trying to bring up in these posts, is that I'm barely meeting any potential women - it's a lifestyle and social circle issue.

 

[user43770]

To put it bluntly, my ideal relationship is one where she provides unlimited sex (of her own free will, of course), and other than that, we don't interact much (she lets me focus on my own life, I let her do the same). I had a LTR exactly like this in my 20s. I have a strong urge to just dominate (subtly), in pretty much everything in life (sports, work, etc.). I think this makes me a bit extreme compared to most other men, based on what I've observed throughout life.

You just described every man on Earths ideal relationship. Problem is, that doesn't exist. Or maybe it does, but the odds of finding it make it a unicorn.

Start meditating or something hip like that. Do goat yoga.

My life hasn't panned out how I expected. I'm not a professional baseball player, but I'm not upset about it, either.

 

[allergictobs]

If you wanted a decent looking girl being yours and being able and willing to bond to you, you should have done 10 years ago when you were in your late 20s, not trying to be a d1ck but the more d1cks a girl gets and the less she will be able and willing to bond with a man...even brad pitt and ewan mc gregor are divorcing, enough said.

I agree, and I did do that in my 20s (the one long-term relationship I had). But I realized something already at that age: I get bored with women quite easily. That one LTR was pretty much perfect, there was nothing wrong with it. I just wanted a new adventure. I think I'm one of those (many) guys who would just keep changing the girl every few years or so. So it doesn't matter what I did in my 20s, I would still be in this same situation right now. If that was not my nature, I'm pretty sure I would have already settled down with a woman a long time ago.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Correct, and this is true especially online. However, you can easily paint an overly negative image by framing it like that. In real life, I'm slightly shorter than average, but physically very fit. A shaved head works well for my rugged/athletic look. With age has come higher social status and financial success. See, suddenly not looking too bad? You can paint the picture in many ways

But yes, I agree that those qualities reduce my chances of dating younger women.

Still, I'm very sure about one thing: physical appearance is not the source of my problems. Quite the opposite, I've always viewed my looks as an advantage. My main problem, that I'm trying to bring up in these posts, is that I'm barely meeting any potential women - it's a lifestyle and social circle issue.

You being bald or 5'9 has nothing to do with your success with women or the lack thereof. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. If you feel you're having a weakness, other people will feel it too. It's merely that. You could have a lion's mane on your head and still only f*ck your hand for the rest of your life, if you're insecure and timid.

 

[user43770]

You being bald or 5'9 has nothing to do with your success with women or the lack thereof. Don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. If you feel you're having a weakness, other people will feel it too. It's merely that. You could have a lion's mane on your head and still only f*ck your hand for the rest of your life, if you're insecure and timid.

I'm 5'8 and bald, yet I still manage to get laid.

That said, I'm a guy that isn't afraid to go after it.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

You are so analytical that you do not have much interest in the BS of socializing. It doesn’t play to your strengths and thusly makes you somewhat uncomfortable. I get it.

The problem is that this subtle disdain taints your vibe everywhere you go. It is off putting to women who pick up on the vibe you emanate as you go about life. You are a bit socially awkward because you don’t really see value in it. Am I close? That’s what I read between the lines of what you said in your posts throughout this thread.

If you give what I have said some thought you’ll find it worth consideration. I think what @fastlife and others have said about social circle and where to immerse yourself to circulate amongst women are on point. But because of your own attitude you will struggle even in a target rich environment which will further reinforce your current attitude. Not good.

So your first hurdle is embracing and accepting that you need to immerse yourself socially and to let go of ALL expectations and preconceived beliefs surrounding social interactions.

Think of it like an experiment. Be curious and let things unfold much like you follow the data with scientific experiments you follow the interaction in a social experiment. Be open, smile, & be curious.

But you are going to have to leave the ease of your residence and get out in the field. With an open mind.

 

[allergictobs]

You are so analytical that you do not have much interest in the BS of socializing. It doesn’t play to your strengths and thusly makes you somewhat uncomfortable. I get it.

The problem is that this subtle disdain taints your vibe everywhere you go. It is off putting to women who pick up on the vibe you emanate as you go about life. You are a bit socially awkward because you don’t really see value in it. Am I close?

Yes, you described me. And emphasis is on "because I don't see value in it". I am quite social, almost alpha male like, in certain situations (at work, and with close friends), but whenever I don't see any direct benefit from it, I'm very quiet in public.

 

[HyenaPrince]

Yes, you described me. And emphasis is on "because I don't see value in it". I am very social, almost alpha male like, in certain situations (at work, and with close friends), but whenever I don't see any direct benefit from it, I'm very quiet in public.

You're dancing around the fact that you're an introvert.

 

[allergictobs]

You're dancing around the fact that you're an introvert.

I wrote in the first post of this thread that I'm "somewhat introverted". I'm not trying to hide it

 

[HyenaPrince]

I wrote in the first post of this thread that I'm "somewhat introverted". I'm not trying to hide it

Do you feel rather insignificant in larger group situations?

 

[allergictobs]

Do you feel rather insignificant in larger group situations?

It depends on the nature of the situation. I'm quite often talking to large groups at work, and in those situations of course I don't, quite the opposite. In purely social group activities (without an agenda), most often yes.

 

[BeExcellent]

It depends on the nature of the situation. I'm quite often talking to large groups at work, and in those situations of course I don't, quite the opposite. In purely social group activities (without an agenda), most often yes.

Right. And this screws up your vibe before you get started. This is an attitude issue. So THAT is where you must begin.

 

[BeExcellent]

You’ve no issue with escorts because you are process driven. With an escort there is a known outcome.

Never mind the money spent etc. You already know the outcome because it is defined and therefore within your control.

Social interactions cannot have a known outcome. You don’t like feeling as though you are wasting your time on such things that may go nowhere and feel frivolous while taking up your valuable time.

You are a control freak (and I mean this in a matter-of-fact/pointing it out sort of way).

THAT is the root cause of what you are experiencing.

 

[allergictobs]

Right. And this screws up your vibe before you get started. This is an attitude issue. So THAT is where you must begin.

I kind of agree, but on the other hand, aren't like 50% of people like me in this regard?

I have many friends who have a similar personality (introverted, and evidently they don't like large group settings either). None of them seem to have had trouble finding women. Most of them are married to really high-quality women. And since you are going to ask, to my knowledge, all of them have met their spouses either through friends or at work. This would seem to imply that an introvert just has to use different venues for dating (friends and workplace are common).

 

[allergictobs]

You don’t like feeling as though you are wasting your time on such things that may go nowhere and feel frivolous while taking up your valuable time.

This. Very much this.

 

[BeExcellent]

I kind of agree, but on the other hand, aren't like 50% of people like me in this regard?

I have many friends who have a similar personality (introverted, and evidently they don't like large group settings either). None of them seem to have had trouble finding women. Most of them are married to really high-quality women. And since you are going to ask, to my knowledge, all of them have met their spouses either through friends or at work. This would seem to imply that an introvert just has to use different venues for dating (friends and workplace are common).

Ok. Look at the title of your thread. I’m in research myself and so understand that angle. You ask why aren’t women showing up after you’ve crafted yourself into a successful guy...

Because of your vibe.

You weren’t asking the correct question.