I attended a speed dating event today

[corrector]

I don't know why I even bother...

Because you are addicted.

 

[GoodMan32]

Find another female at a bar on a regular bar night.

If I recall, you made a post earlier in the thread telling me there's no way I'm ready for the bar scene in my city if I couldn't even succeed in the open floor setting at the speed dating event.

Some of the broads at the speed date had good discussions with me by the way. They really might have been open to receiving my contact information...if I had a chance to give my contact information.

 

[GoodMan32]

The obese chick I chatted with at the end of the speed dating event (in the hopes she'd offer her digits...but I wasn't into her enough to request her digits) reminds me of this hilarious song about dumpster diving:

 

[SW15]

If I recall, you made a post earlier in the thread telling me there's no way I'm ready for the bar scene in my city if I couldn't even succeed in the open floor setting at the speed dating event.

If you can't effectively navigate open interaction at a singles events/speed dating, then you're not socially equipped to handle a regular bar night.

Speed dating and singles events are dog crap quality.

You will need to enhance social skills before then.

You won't need as much in the way of social skills if you are fit/muscular. Attraction and seduction is the combination of looks, money, status, and personality. Looks and money are most important but personality counts for something.

 

[GoodMan32]

If you can't effectively navigate open interaction at a singles events/speed dating, then you're not socially equipped to handle a regular bar night.

Speed dating and singles events are dog crap quality.

You will need to enhance social skills before then.

You won't need as much in the way of social skills if you are fit/muscular. Attraction and seduction is the combination of looks, money, status, and personality. Looks and money are most important but personality counts for something.

My social skills are a lot better than they were in high school. Unfortunately, I'm wondering if I've reached the ceiling of how far an autist can ascend (in terms of social skills).

Perhaps @BeExcellent can chime in. She's married to a man with ASD who managed to put a ring on the finger of a woman as beautiful as her.

 

[GoodMan32]

If you can't effectively navigate open interaction at a singles events/speed dating, then you're not socially equipped to handle a regular bar night.

Speed dating and singles events are dog crap quality.

You will need to enhance social skills before then.

You won't need as much in the way of social skills if you are fit/muscular. Attraction and seduction is the combination of looks, money, status, and personality. Looks and money are most important but personality counts for something.

Also, I should ask: What would you do in an environment where, other than an obese chick, every woman is already engaged in a discussion with another guy?

(Even though that's the description of the open session of my speed dating event, I imagine a lot of bar settings come with similar scenarios)

 

[BaronOfHair]

Also, I should ask: What would you do in an environment where, other than an obese chick, every woman is already engaged in a discussion with another guy?

Go to an environment where this isn't the case. You wouldn't continue dear hunting in Downtown Chicago, after discovering that the only thing there in need of picking off were the dope fiends who litter The Windy City's street corners

Same is true when it comes to not only dating and mating, but everything else in life. Don't like the increasingly non-existent job market in Akron? Move to Tampa, where new tech companies are popping up faster than penises each time Sydney Sweeney slips into a string bikini, and film production is burgeoning now that folks are finally realizing what a shi-hole GA is. Accept that proceeds of your move will come with a few piss-ups, such as having to contend with the occasional hurricane

 

[corrector]

Also, I should ask: What would you do in an environment where, other than an obese chick, every woman is already engaged in a discussion with another guy?

(Even though that's the description of the open session of my speed dating event, I imagine a lot of bar settings come with similar scenarios)

You mentioned that you have wealthy parents. Have they tried to set you up with someone before?

 

[BaronOfHair]

If I recall, you made a post earlier in the thread telling me there's no way I'm ready for the bar scene in my city if I couldn't even succeed in the open floor setting at the speed dating event

Get yourself an ankh, sharpen the edges, and develop an acute case of Renfield's Syndrome

You'll enjoy stalking Indie clubs throughout America

 

[GoodMan32]

Go to an environment where this isn't the case. You wouldn't continue dear hunting in Downtown Chicago, after discovering that the only thing there in need of picking off were the dope fiends who litter The Windy City's street corners

Same is true when it comes to not only dating and mating, but everything else in life. Don't like the increasingly non-existent job market in Akron? Move to Tampa, where new tech companies are popping up faster than penises each time Sydney Sweeney slips into a string bikini, and film production is burgeoning now that folks are finally realizing what a shi-hole GA is. Accept that proceeds of your move will come with a few piss-ups, such as having to contend with the occasional hurricane

Here's the difference: No one expects deer to be in downtown Chicago. You expect there to be available broads at a bar/speed dating event.

From the sounds of it, you seem to think men should use the following strategy:

1. Go to a bar.
2. If the gender ratio turns out to suck, go to another bar.
3. And if the gender ratio at the next bar turns out to suck? Find yet another bar.

That sounds exhausting (and miserable for a guy like me who's a one drink maximum type of guy). For that matter, I mentioned to a broad at the speed dating event I don't like to mix alcohol with finding a partner (she agreed). If only I had a chance to exchange contact info with her.

I seriously might prefer kissing a man over jumping from bar to bar in the hopes of finding a woman. And no, I'm not gay. But at least the kiss with a man will be over immediately. The misery of jumping from bar to bar will take up the whole evening.

 

[GoodMan32]

You mentioned that you have wealthy parents. Have they tried to set you up with someone before?

Not really. Even as old as I am now, they don't really like the idea of me dating.

They have at least moderated somewhat through the years. In my early 20s, they poured their heart and soul into getting in the way of my dating life. When I was 21 or 22 (and living at home), when my parents went away for a weekend, my mom seriously told the neighbor to let her know if my girlfriend's car is spotted in the driveway.

 

[SW15]

men should use the following strategy:

1. Go to a bar.
2. If the gender ratio turns out to suck, go to another bar.
3. And if the gender ratio at the next bar turns out to suck? Find yet another bar.

That was the most common strategy that men used in the 1970s-2000s when they lacked social circle options. While men are going to bars less in search of pussie now than in the past, many men are still using bars as a part of their efforts.

More men seem to be preferring the use of swipe apps and sending DMs on social media platforms as compared to bar approaching.

Non-bar approaching doesn't seem to be increasing in popularity.

 

[GoodMan32]

That was the most common strategy that men used in the 1970s-2000s when they lacked social circle options. While men are going to bars less in search of pussie now than in the past, many men are still using bars as a part of their efforts.

More men seem to be preferring the use of swipe apps and sending DMs on social media platforms as compared to bar approaching.

Non-bar approaching doesn't seem to be increasing in popularity.

Back in your days of frequenting bars (I get the impression you don't do that a whole lot anymore), how common was it for you to jump from bar to bar to bar (in the same night) in search of a better gender ratio?

 

[SW15]

Back in your days of frequenting bars (I get the impression you don't do that a whole lot anymore), how common was it for you to jump from bar to bar to bar (in the same night) in search of a better gender ratio?

It was common for me to do that. I did go out to bar areas in the cities where I lived where there were multiple bars in a compact area.

As an adult, I was a primarily nightlife guy from ages 18-29 when I was single during those times. That was a combination of going to random off campus parties (ages 18-20) and then bars once I turned 21.

In my late 20s, I began the transition to becoming a primarily non-bar approacher (daygame). I have a more introverted personality and non-bar approaching is better for my personality type than bar approaching.

I spent 10+ years primarily doing a form of game that wasn't best suited for my personality type.

The best bar approachers are men with more outgoing and more extroverted personalities. Introverts with a good physique can do well in bar approaching. Looks > Personality.

Speed dating and singles events were originally conceived as gimmicks to help those who weren't good at bar approaching.

 

[GoodMan32]

It was common for me to do that. I did go out to bar areas in the cities where I lived where there were multiple bars in a compact area.

As an adult, I was a primarily nightlife guy from ages 18-29 when I was single during those times. That was a combination of going to random off campus parties (ages 18-20) and then bars once I turned 21.

In my late 20s, I began the transition to becoming a primarily non-bar approacher (daygame). I have a more introverted personality and non-bar approaching is better for my personality type than bar approaching.

I spent 10+ years primarily doing a form of game that wasn't best suited for my personality type.

The best bar approachers are men with more outgoing and more extroverted personalities. Introverts with a good physique can do well in bar approaching. Looks > Personality.

Speed dating and singles events were originally conceived as gimmicks to help those who weren't good at bar approaching.

If, even for you (being a mere introvert), bar approaching isn't suited to your personality, bar approaching certainly isn't suited to an autist like me.

 

[Clockwerk50]

If, even for you (being a mere introvert), bar approaching isn't suited to your personality, bar approaching certainly isn't suited to an autist like me.

Ok.

 

[BaronOfHair]

And no, I'm not gay

Repeat that to yourself a few million more times, and you may finally start believing it

 

[GoodMan32]

Repeat that to yourself a few million more times, and you may finally start believing it

Very funny.

 

[SW15]

If, even for you (being a mere introvert), bar approaching isn't suited to your personality, bar approaching certainly isn't suited to an autist like me.

Another thing you likely lack is male friends. It's difficult to go out to bars alone and do approaches. Therefore, having male friends/wingmen for going out to bars is valuable.

Most men in their 30s/40s lack male friends/wingmen for going to bars regularly. This is because most men in their 30s/40s are married/in LTRs. These men often have kids. They aren't going to accompany an unattached friend to the bars.

 

[GoodMan32]

Another thing you likely lack is male friends. It's difficult to go out to bars alone and do approaches. Therefore, having male friends/wingmen for going out to bars is valuable.

Most men in their 30s/40s lack male friends/wingmen for going to bars regularly. This is because most men in their 30s/40s are married/in LTRs. These men often have kids. They aren't going to accompany an unattached friend to the bars.

Yeah. Unless you're at, say, a hotel bar in an unfamiliar locale (in which case, it's to be expected a lot of travellers, both male and female, will be by themselves), I imagine being alone makes it a lot more difficult.

One strategy (I suppose) is to (if possible) find a man lower down than you on the SMV totem pole to accompany you (in pickup settings in general; not just in bar settings). Because then you end up looking like a catch. That's how I got my last date.