"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I am firing you

amoka

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Meet HB two weeks ago. went on a date with her three days later and kiss close on the date. Attraction was high after few drinks and I ended up telling her het prof was my ex.

Talked to her today and we arranged to meet at her place later in the evening. She was supposed to inform me after she finishes watching her cousin plays in a basketball game. She never called so after another plate failed to show up, I texted the 1st girl saying " What happened to you? I am going to fire you" and never called her again. My question is whether such a comment was appropriate for the situation.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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wjh

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Your comment isn't a big deal.

You shouldn't have mentioned the ex, though. Never mention the ex, or anything about her, ever. She could just be a flake, and your ex had nothing to do with it, but mentioning that it is not advisable.
 

DJDamage

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Yeah don't mention the ex's early on.

Also when a girl flakes on you without explanation, don't text her, it made you look frustrated and weak even though you tried to incorporate humor as if it didn't bother you.
 

jophil28

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amoka said:
Attraction was high after few drinks and I ended up telling her het prof was my ex. .
" Attraction was high after a few drinks "... Perhaps attraction was high because of a few drrrrinks, and then it tanked because you thought that your 'confession' about the identity of your ex was gonna impress HB in some strange way.

Nah, SHE fired YOU.
 

amoka

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jophil28 said:
Nah, SHE fired YOU
You see, the problem with this forum is that we take things too seriously. I understand that telling her about my ex was a bad idea... blame it on the booze. But it does not mean she fired me as a result.


Anyway, I just received a text message from her this morning
don't fire me just yet... I didn't hear back from u
Apparently there was a miscommunication between us. Now Imma gonna give her another chance.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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squirrels

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She's keeping her options open...but she's not really "buying"...just window-shopping.

What were your "plans" for that night? Suggest something fun next time, something she'll WANT to do. And this time, if she comes out, turn the charm up high so she'll want to do stuff with YOU, instead of doing STUFF with you.
 

vitor

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Stop texting and pick up the phone...... I only text little things, when I want to ask a girl out, or confirm a date I will call them, you can tell a lot over the phone vs text messages...
 
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