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I am considering abstaining from sex/dating

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Backstory: I was dating 5 girls in 2021 and it became a complete mess. Everything fell apart during New Year and just the idea of dating has been completely sour to me ever since. I've honestly done a lot and justified a lot of things that I'm not proud of and it's time to own up. Here are my reasons for considering:

1). Lack of control- I feel like pvssy has dictated my life since I was in late HS. I have actually always envied the guys with low sex drives or who could turn down pvssy. I'm just sick of it being the main deciding factor in most of my decisions. Some of the happiest times of my life were 8th-10th grade where all I did was go to school and come home, play halo 3/cod4, hang out with friends. Yet, I wasn't getting laid or even thinking about women at that point in time.

2). The lingering price and consequences of pvssy- One of the worst mistakes a man can ever make is to get the wrong woman pregnant. Not only do you have to pay alimony but you have to deal with this woman for the rest of your life unless you do not plan on ever seeing your kid again. ORR you stick it out, but you end up like Will Smith where literally everyone is against you. I don't want to hear any excuses because even men including manosphere men join women and attack weak vulnerable men in these situations.

3). Dating isn't fun at all - I don't like being an entertainer to strangers. I don't like driving across the city to bullshvt locations. I don't like spending my weekends going to the farmers market, fair, or visiting her family & friends. I don't like going to strangers' apartments and worrying about getting towed or not. None of these things are enjoyable at all. I don't like sticking through some dumb date or show on Netflix and having to think of my next move to obtain sex. I don't like some girl arguing with me at 11pn on a Sunday night because she doesn't feel like I'm emotional enough or some random disney bull shvt. I would much rather sit my ass at home and play Elden Ring with a nice glass of whiskey & coke.

4). Post-Nut Clarity is real- When I'm done busting a nut, I literally want to do it again 5 minutes later. I went through all that shvt just to have 5-10 minutes of pleasure. At this point, I feel like a washed-up dusty drug addict always looking for the next high.

Now my decision isn't final, but these are the main reasons that have been lingering in my mind lately. Feel free to discuss with me, but please don't come in here with this "JUST BE ALPHA"and women will just suck your dvck and leave on command type shvt lol.
 

SW15

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I can identify with the idea of taking something like 2-3 months off completely. Sometimes we need time away to deal with things. On to comments....

1). Lack of control- I feel like pvssy has dictated my life since I was in late HS. I have actually always envied the guys with low sex drives or who could turn down pvssy. I'm just sick of it being the main deciding factor in most of my decisions. Some of the happiest times of my life were 8th-10th grade where all I did was go to school and come home, play halo 3/cod4, hang out with friends. Yet, I wasn't getting laid or even thinking about women at that point in time.
I can identify with this. A lot of men live for getting pusssy. I have been one of those men for a good portion of my life.

I can think of years earlier in elementary school that were great for me when I was not thinking at all about getting pusssy.

I'm not sure what the long term solution is to "lack of control". My sense that pusssy related issues have dominated your life. You are either not getting enough pusssy (unlikely since you had 5 women in 2021) or not getting the right pusssy in your life. That leads well into Item 2.

2). The lingering price and consequences of pvssy- One of the worst mistakes a man can ever make is to get the wrong woman pregnant. Not only do you have to pay alimony but you have to deal with this woman for the rest of your life unless you do not plan on ever seeing your kid again. ORR you stick it out, but you end up like Will Smith where literally everyone is against you. I don't want to hear any excuses because even men including manosphere men join women and attack weak vulnerable men in these situations.
Getting the wrong woman pregnant is a bad thing. In the USA, abortion access has been getting more limited and a forthcoming Supreme Court ruling may impact that further. The issue of the Supreme Court and abortion access doesn't have that much impact on the lives of most seducers at a micro level.

A good portion of seducers are using condoms and many times using condoms with women who are using birth control. That's going to eliminate the majority of the probability of an incident.

Additionally, if your target market is women age 25+, childless, and with a BA/BS or degree or higher, she's not going to have an abortion if she gets pregnant. I've known men who have gotten childless, college educated women pregnant in the 25-32 age range in unstable situations. In every single one of these instances, the woman kept the child despite the less than favorable circumstances surrounding the pregnancy.

In most cases, when a man impregnates a woman, things seem stable in that moment. Often times, it is in the early years of a marriage. However, things end to go downhill even in strong relationships once children enter the equation. Having children is a big risk. It's more likely than not that you won't be in a romantic relationship with the mother by the time your first kid with her turns 18.

Divorce stinks, both from a financial and emotional standpoint. I've known men who have gone through childless divorces and the consequences were not good. Divorces involving children under 18 in the household are worse.

The best solution to this is to use condoms every time. Additionally, try to screen for women who use birth control. The combination of a man using condoms and a woman using birth control is highly likely to result in sterile sex. Getting a woman comfortable enough with you to disclose her birth control status will reduce your number of first dates resulting in sex and same night lays from the bar. You'll only have to wait 2-3 dates more typically.

It's a little bit more risky to ejaculate inside a condom when the woman isn't using birth control. I've done that with some women and not gotten them pregnant.

By doing what I've discussed here, your dating is likely to be more oriented towards extended relationships and not one night stands or casual bangs.

3). Dating isn't fun at all - I don't like being an entertainer to strangers. I don't like driving across the city to bullshvt locations. I don't like spending my weekends going to the farmers market, fair, or visiting her family & friends. I don't like going to strangers' apartments and worrying about getting towed or not. None of these things are enjoyable at all. I don't like sticking through some dumb date or show on Netflix and having to think of my next move to obtain sex. I don't like some girl arguing with me at 11pn on a Sunday night because she doesn't feel like I'm emotional enough or some random disney bull shvt. I would much rather sit my ass at home and play Elden Ring with a nice glass of whiskey & coke.
I identify with the sentiment behind this. The early stages are not fun. Doing the approaches, arranging the dates, and planning strategies/tactics for dates to get the sex is not a source of great enjoyment for many men. There are some men who are into the "thrill of the hunt". I've never been one of those guys.

Getting into extended relationships reduces this. The idea is that you do this once and do it for terms of 1-5 years so that you're not havibg to constantly deal with the emotional rollercoaster of early stage dates.
 

Epimanes

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Do what ya want..... totally true.. pvssy isn't everything... alot of guys here brag and post their hook ups... but what meaning is it?

When the time is right... it will feel right. If you feel your forcing it.... its not for you. Quit worrying about pvssy and just live life how you want to.

When you find the right one...it will be easy... it will flow.... and she will make your d!ck hard and not your life.

Good luck man

Epi
 

CBear

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Backstory: I was dating 5 girls in 2021 and it became a complete mess. Everything fell apart during New Year and just the idea of dating has been completely sour to me ever since. I've honestly done a lot and justified a lot of things that I'm not proud of and it's time to own up. Here are my reasons for considering:

1). Lack of control- I feel like pvssy has dictated my life since I was in late HS. I have actually always envied the guys with low sex drives or who could turn down pvssy. I'm just sick of it being the main deciding factor in most of my decisions. Some of the happiest times of my life were 8th-10th grade where all I did was go to school and come home, play halo 3/cod4, hang out with friends. Yet, I wasn't getting laid or even thinking about women at that point in time.

2). The lingering price and consequences of pvssy- One of the worst mistakes a man can ever make is to get the wrong woman pregnant. Not only do you have to pay alimony but you have to deal with this woman for the rest of your life unless you do not plan on ever seeing your kid again. ORR you stick it out, but you end up like Will Smith where literally everyone is against you. I don't want to hear any excuses because even men including manosphere men join women and attack weak vulnerable men in these situations.

3). Dating isn't fun at all - I don't like being an entertainer to strangers. I don't like driving across the city to bullshvt locations. I don't like spending my weekends going to the farmers market, fair, or visiting her family & friends. I don't like going to strangers' apartments and worrying about getting towed or not. None of these things are enjoyable at all. I don't like sticking through some dumb date or show on Netflix and having to think of my next move to obtain sex. I don't like some girl arguing with me at 11pn on a Sunday night because she doesn't feel like I'm emotional enough or some random disney bull shvt. I would much rather sit my ass at home and play Elden Ring with a nice glass of whiskey & coke.

4). Post-Nut Clarity is real- When I'm done busting a nut, I literally want to do it again 5 minutes later. I went through all that shvt just to have 5-10 minutes of pleasure. At this point, I feel like a washed-up dusty drug addict always looking for the next high.

Now my decision isn't final, but these are the main reasons that have been lingering in my mind lately. Feel free to discuss with me, but please don't come in here with this "JUST BE ALPHA"and women will just suck your dvck and leave on command type shvt lol.
Maybe I can offer some insight on this. I've always had a high sex drive but my ego was always a little too inflated to chase after women. I lack respect for men who's lives revolve around getting pu$$y. However, I was in a relationship from 2020-2021 and after that relationship ended, I went a little crazy with the whole dating scene and then got into another relationship that lasted 3 months before I ended that one as well. Mentally, physically, and financially, I was drained and it just didn't feel right. Dating is an exhausting game as a whole and being a relationship with someone who expects so much from you when it doesn't feel equal feels worse. I'm single now and haven't had sex since January and in fact, have chosen not to. My buddies in Nashville were in awe when I rejected a chick who was grabbing my junk in front of everyone and grabbing me to go to her hotel room. I've been focused on work, getting another degree, continuing to save financially, investing, working out, and spending time in nature and it brings a certain level of clarity and happiness. Sure it stinks once in a while to not get consistent s3x and I'll obviously get back into the game every now and then in the future but not having to deal with bs that drains you in so many aspects is priceless. In short, life is about balance and if you feel like you've tilted the scale a little too much to one extreme, certain steps need to be taken to balance that scale and bring you inner peace. Considering what you wrote, I would definitely recommend taking a break for a couple months before going back to the scene.
 

Epimanes

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I was with a woman from 16 (she was 15) til 40..... we had 2 kids together in that time (17 and 23 today).. sex was nearly non existent for me .... and then she left me at 40 for some dude 12yrs older than her.... kids decided I was the better parent and they jumped ship with me.

I have realized...now that I have a good gf thay has moved in with me and my son... makes my d!ck hard not my life... no she's not a 9 or anything likely a 7.5... but sex is on tap and her drive is higher than mine. ... I can now take it or leave it... sex don't matter much to me anymore. What matters now is consistency... and effort... trust... honesty.

She knows if she breaks any of those.... she will be gone in a heart beat. I tell her all the time if you make my life hard and not my d!ck.... your gone.

She hunts with me... goes fishin with me... rides a mountain bike with me.... and just all around enjoys my lead in our activities. She cooks for me and we share cleaning... and she splits rent with me. My kids like her bettercthan their mother. We met in high-school when I met my ex wife... she then disappeared... then 1yr after ex and I split she reappears.... we caught up.... hit it off... dated for a year... then I moved her in cuz I'm tired of the games ppl play... she treats me like a king consistently and values my opinion... respects my decisions.

So.... goes to show you ya that you just never know what's gunna happen... but whatever it is you shouldn't have to work hard at it to make it happen... it should just flow ..... the give and take should feel equal in a sense. Financially.. emotionally.... etc.... and her drive should be higher than yours... and she should have a good sense of gratitude.

Good luck man.

Epi
 

BackInTheGame78

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You have the ability to turn down pvssy, you just choose not to. Start by doing it once. Then see how it feels. If you like it then keep doing it as you see fit.

People are creatures of habit, nothing is going to change until you make a change.
 

Knight of Roses

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The excitement of the hunt is very real. But after it’s achieved, it becomes boring and redundant.
 

thelambofdeth

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At least you're making a active choice to do so. Some dudes don't have that option and have to give up bc they can't get chit lol.
 

sangheilios

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I can identify with the idea of taking something like 2-3 months off completely. Sometimes we need time away to deal with things. On to comments....



I can identify with this. A lot of men live for getting pusssy. I have been one of those men for a good portion of my life.

I can think of years earlier in elementary school that were great for me when I was not thinking at all about getting pusssy.

I'm not sure what the long term solution is to "lack of control". My sense that pusssy related issues have dominated your life. You are either not getting enough pusssy (unlikely since you had 5 women in 2021) or not getting the right pusssy in your life. That leads well into Item 2.



Getting the wrong woman pregnant is a bad thing. In the USA, abortion access has been getting more limited and a forthcoming Supreme Court ruling may impact that further. The issue of the Supreme Court and abortion access doesn't have that much impact on the lives of most seducers at a micro level.

A good portion of seducers are using condoms and many times using condoms with women who are using birth control. That's going to eliminate the majority of the probability of an incident.

Additionally, if your target market is women age 25+, childless, and with a BA/BS or degree or higher, she's not going to have an abortion if she gets pregnant. I've known men who have gotten childless, college educated women pregnant in the 25-32 age range in unstable situations. In every single one of these instances, the woman kept the child despite the less than favorable circumstances surrounding the pregnancy.

In most cases, when a man impregnates a woman, things seem stable in that moment. Often times, it is in the early years of a marriage. However, things end to go downhill even in strong relationships once children enter the equation. Having children is a big risk. It's more likely than not that you won't be in a romantic relationship with the mother by the time your first kid with her turns 18.

Divorce stinks, both from a financial and emotional standpoint. I've known men who have gone through childless divorces and the consequences were not good. Divorces involving children under 18 in the household are worse.

The best solution to this is to use condoms every time. Additionally, try to screen for women who use birth control. The combination of a man using condoms and a woman using birth control is highly likely to result in sterile sex. Getting a woman comfortable enough with you to disclose her birth control status will reduce your number of first dates resulting in sex and same night lays from the bar. You'll only have to wait 2-3 dates more typically.

It's a little bit more risky to ejaculate inside a condom when the woman isn't using birth control. I've done that with some women and not gotten them pregnant.

By doing what I've discussed here, your dating is likely to be more oriented towards extended relationships and not one night stands or casual bangs.



I identify with the sentiment behind this. The early stages are not fun. Doing the approaches, arranging the dates, and planning strategies/tactics for dates to get the sex is not a source of great enjoyment for many men. There are some men who are into the "thrill of the hunt". I've never been one of those guys.

Getting into extended relationships reduces this. The idea is that you do this once and do it for terms of 1-5 years so that you're not havibg to constantly deal with the emotional rollercoaster of early stage dates.
One option is to get a vasectomy if you are completely sure of not wanting children. Even if you may want them, it's possible to have your sperm stored in cryo or even have the procedure reversed.
 

logicallefty

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Op, back when I got tired of the dating game but still wanted to get mud for my duck consider what I used to do; secure a good FWB. It goes like this. You meet. You fvck. You go on about your day. No dating BS. No feelings. Just fvck. A lot of women want this arrangement but men end up wanting more. Find a FWB you can trust. or even a couple, and you can have your cake and eat if too..
 
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