"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I am afraid of rejection

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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N

Naughty Ninja

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You're not really afraid of rejection. Rejection is quick and though may be a temporary sting to the ego, it's over quick and you hopefully move on and learn from it. You need to keep going on till rejections don't bother you anymore. Each rejection is a step in the direction to a YES. But you need to really sit down and face what we all are really afraid of. ACCEPTANCE. Because then you get to see the person you've built up as a fantasy "perfect" person in your mind for who they reall are and have to think about future meetings with them, how to act, meeting their friends, them meeting yours, parents down the line, things to say, commonalities, differences, and the fact things may not work out. So rejection is easy...Acceptance is a whole other story. Just keep working on yourself and be honest with your shortcomings and work on them. Good luck!
 
I

I'm in the Mood

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Yoko Kurama said:
What is the first thing I should do to fix this?
Click to expand...
In order to help you the best we can, we'll need a little more information than that.

Describe a specific situation where you felt this fear of rejection, and how you acted because of it. What kind of a person are you when you're not afraid of rejection?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L

lakeshore

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The older i get the more i begin to accept that people
are not put on this earth to serve you. I would expect someone
to be nice and cordial but not to fall in love with me or become my
best friend just because I put myself out there for the offer.

I think the better mindset would be to expect rejection in some form,
be nice and not an a-hole, and if a deeper relationship develops with
a girl or just a friend then you can be happy about that.

I think with this attitude the fear gets reduced and in some perverse way you'll develop
more relationships.

Its all about expectations really, your visions are probably too grand when you think about a girl.

Temper your expectations dramatically and things will flow smoother. Not saying don't be into her or whatever but
just don't EXPECT to see fireworks every time and you'll be more natural. I think back to the last girl i hooked up with.
I really did want her and was doing a nice job of being interesting and funny and what not but when we actually
'did it' I was completely not expecting it. Had I gone out that night hoping or expecting to bang her I gaurantee
it wouldn't have happened because my behavior would have been different. I was pleasantly surprised.
 
T

teddy240

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why? "The only people who never fail, are those who never try."
 
Y

Yoko Kurama

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lakeshore said:
The older i get the more i begin to accept that people
are not put on this earth to serve you. I would expect someone
to be nice and cordial but not to fall in love with me or become my
best friend just because I put myself out there for the offer.

I think the better mindset would be to expect rejection in some form,
be nice and not an a-hole, and if a deeper relationship develops with
a girl or just a friend then you can be happy about that.

I think with this attitude the fear gets reduced and in some perverse way you'll develop
more relationships.

Its all about expectations really, your visions are probably too grand when you think about a girl.

Temper your expectations dramatically and things will flow smoother. Not saying don't be into her or whatever but
just don't EXPECT to see fireworks every time and you'll be more natural. I think back to the last girl i hooked up with.
I really did want her and was doing a nice job of being interesting and funny and what not but when we actually
'did it' I was completely not expecting it. Had I gone out that night hoping or expecting to bang her I gaurantee
it wouldn't have happened because my behavior would have been different. I was pleasantly surprised.
Click to expand...
Best. Advice. Ever.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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P

ProDJ26

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Somewhere in the world there are men who are locked up. They are saying to themselves "When I get out I'm gonna do this, gonna do that, gonna talk to her, etc. Somewhere in the world someone is laying up sick in a hospital thinking or saying, "if only I was healthy I'd do this/that". Somewhere in the world an old man is saying "IF I HAD ONLY TAKEN SOME CHANCES IN MY LIFE"

Don't be those guys, be the one that gets rejected.
 
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