"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I’m seriously stuck at the crossroads and I need any help/guidance that I can get, please.
- Thread starter Eljayem
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Love it
Appreciate it
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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SW15
Master Don Juan
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Yes. Cohabitation happens plenty without marriage as well.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is where I believe it all stemmed/started from for the most part if I’m to pick or point on/at anything from her end…..
Deep down I do not know why, but what she would come up with were the excuses of or such as:
My work is only 2 minutes away from my Mothers house, I feel more comfortable at my Moms, you have always made it be known that this is your place (I’m sure I never did and if I did go that way about it I wasn’t an ******* about it)
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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Completely unreasonable. So when you tell her about chick #2? You soften the blow by saying “You understand that I am your husband and that you have simply refused to live with me as my wife, which is extraordinarily disrespectful, never mind my desire for sexual fulfillment in marriage….what am I supposed to do?”
You know she is going to whine all about it to your mother in law.
I’d tell them both (her AND her mother) and you can squarely place blame on your wife living with her mother AND HER MOTHER ALLOWING IT”
How old is your wife? 12?
Let me guess. Her mom doesn’t like you. All the more reason to stand up to them both.
I’d say ditch the lot and start over with a completely different woman. What a disaster.
Seriously. You are the man here. Kick them all to the curb unless…like UNLESS your wife agrees immediately to reside with you as husband & wife.
No excuse for this unless her mom is literally dying and has no one else to care for her. In that case you BOTH live at mom’s for free since you take care of her.
Otherwise ditch the lot.
Seriously
Do you mind if I message you on here?
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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Feel free of course. I’m headed out for tonight so I’ll respond in the morning.
Cheers
Gedmun
Don Juan
Are you able to relocate your job try and move away from redflag girlfriend so she doesn't cause you collateral damage. Hell have no fury like a woman scorned. If she goes to town on you. The court system will not be in your favour. That is a pretty **** situation to be in mate. If your ever in my neck of the woods I'll shout you a beer at the pub
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Where abouts are you from, mate?
Gedmun
Don Juan
Gedmun
Don Juan
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Girl #2 will crash and burn within a year, max, guaranteed.
You're thinking like a chick, following your feelings, not strategically.
Manage and take care of your relationship with your wife.
Tough economic times are coming, for a while.
Do the strategically correct thing, not the easy thing.