Humiliated field report! 1st date left early

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm going to be completely honest with you: NONE.

Dig into my old posts, and you'll find I had a plate a few months ago, but the last 2-3 months have been dry.

And yes, you might be correct about me seeing this girl as "The One" due to me being so limited in other options.

Until you remedy this situation, you will likely make dates far more important and put far more pressure on yourself than there should be.

 

[manfrombelow]

People who think they can become successful with women and dating and do so by avoiding having to be rejected and having many failures are only fooling themselves. Dating doesn't work like this and nothing else in life does either.

The problem with you, BackInTheGame78, as I have observed on so many past occasions, is the fact that your EQ is too low you can't see the thing as it is: I am a male being frustrated/sad for failing the first date.

It's totally normal human mental behavior, yet you keep trying to make it a more complicated story than it really is.

 

[manfrombelow]

Until you remedy this situation, you will likely make dates far more important and put far more pressure on yourself than there should be.

Just shut up and get the fvck out man. Last week one of my FWB's called me over to feck but I said no because I got bored with her pvssy, that evening I wanked instead. Get on your high horse elsewhere.

 

[Gamisch]

The problem with you, BackInTheGame78, as I have observed on so many past occasions, is the fact that your EQ is too low you can't see the thing as it is: I am a male being frustrated/sad for failing the first date.

It's totally normal human mental behavior, yet you keep trying to make it a more complicated story than it really is.

Although he does have a nonsense style of saying thing, he is right. It's tough love. You are on the right path, you just need to up your volume and maybe experience with women overall so this doesnt faze you. Instead if being down you should be exited to tweak and improve your game with the next one.

It's like somebody hits the gym once every three months and yet always complains that it hurts so much. Keep it going and the pain will disappear

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Just shut up and get the fvck out man. Last week one of my FWB's called me over to feck but I said no because I got bored with her pvssy, that evening I wanked instead. Get on your high horse elsewhere.

Get mad all you want. When you settle back down and have some quiet time, think more about what I said. The reason you are getting so bent out of shape is because you know the truth of what I am saying but don't want to admit it to yourself.

 

[member160292]

Just shut up and get the fvck out man. Last week one of my FWB's called me over to feck but I said no because I got bored with her pvssy, that evening I wanked instead. Get on your high horse elsewhere.

I'm with BITG on this one, brotha. When I first started dating again, I was very outcome dependent. I had little success and was somewhat frustrated.
Now it's just enjoying company over a nice meeting with no care for how it turns out. Just have fun.

 

[manfrombelow]

Get mad all you want. When you settle back down and have some quiet time, think more about what I said. The reason you are getting so bent out of shape is because you know the truth of what I am saying but don't want to admit it to yourself.

Alright, bro, I'm sorry for being a little b~tch. I'm too tired for the moment, so Imma hit the bed and see you guys later.

Again, big thanks for all the input, and the tough love.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The problem with you, BackInTheGame78, as I have observed on so many past occasions, is the fact that your EQ is too low you can't see the thing as it is: I am a male being frustrated/sad for failing the first date.

It's totally normal human mental behavior, yet you keep trying to make it a more complicated story than it really is.

Is it? I haven't felt that for a long time. I expect it's going to happen from time to time.

 

[Atom Smasher]

This is the problem I’m always mentioning, but so few hear. Just look at the dynamic. He approached her as a beggar (like almost all men do). He broadcasted that he’s “all-in” if she will accept him. If the date went well (the sole metric being her acceptance of him), he would be enamored of her. Strictly because she accepted him. Her low interest proved to be devastating.

This is not how it’s supposed to be, brothers. We are supposed to be the ones qualifying them. What has she done to deserve his affection and desire? Looked pretty? Worn a good coat of paint on her face? Decent figure?

The bottom line is that we’ve got to get out of this puppy-dog “I’ll like you if you like me” syndrome that’s has become so entrenched in our society.

We need to turn the tables immediately with women and demonstrate that we are qualifying them, that we require that they demonstrate their worth. So few men feel they are worthy of a good woman.

Look how often men feel like trash after feeling rejected by a mediocre to lower-tier woman. It’s because we don’t believe in ourselves and we don’t feel deserving. Then we get rejected by these mediocre women and feel all the worse because we weren’t even good enough for mediocrity.

Assume a virtue if you have it not. Turn your back on history and what you always thought was “real”, and become a JUDGE of women. When women sense you are judging them, the more desirable ones become intrigued and attracted.

When do you lay the groundwork of flipping the script? IMMEDIATELY! You need to absolutely reek of superiority, but in a kind, friendly way. That manifests as “Well, I guess I’ll give you a chance” attitude. You’re friendly, light, self-amused and above all detached and undecided about her.

This is what they are attracted to, guys. Let go of this “I’m all-in if you’ll only accept me” vibe and reap the same harvest that I have been enjoying for years. Most women are pining away for a man who is above them, a man they have to work for and prove themselves to. I’m probably wasting my time writing all this, as deaf ears abound, but I do it for that one guy who has ears and sees the light.

Never be a beggar. Never be a puppy dog gazing longingly for affection. Be above it all. Be a man of purpose, a man with no time to waste. Be a man who won’t even consider going out with a low-interest woman. Be willing to lose the first few as you learn to calibrate. If you’re going to be all-in, be all-in to qualify and vet women. Each time you do, you will carry yourself with more confidence and self-assurance.

 

[pipeman84]

Just shut up and get the fvck out man. Last week one of my FWB's called me over to feck but I said no because I got bored with her pvssy, that evening I wanked instead. Get on your high horse elsewhere.

Hey @Gamisch here's an example of what I was saying in the other thread...masturbation=modern hoes=escorts

 

[kavi]

You had already failed before the date.

If you had known this chick and interacted with he at work, then you should create the tension and attraction BEFORE asking her out. You had ample opportunity to create attraction and tension while you interacted with her at work. If you can get her IL high before the date, then the date and subsequent interactions become easier.

The focus has to be on the underlying attraction, IL, tension, not getting numbers, or getting dates. You only go for the number before IL has been created in situations where you may not see her again. Number/Date without prebuilt attraction/tension/IL is gonna cause you a lot of bad 'failed' dates.

 

[pipeman84]

I’m probably wasting my time writing all this, as deaf ears abound, but I do it for that one guy who has ears and sees the light.

Hey, I'm that one guy.
The post is pure gold. How long did it take you to first realize all this and then internalize it?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I always favor making the girl reject me instead of putting the ball in her court. I would call and ask her out again in 5-9 days. Meanwhile, act normal at work like it never happened. I might even work from home a few of those days if that is possible.

Agreed. Never reject yourself. Same as when escalating.

I've had a few instances where I ended up banging and dating a few women that I felt for sure there was not going to be a second date with. Doesn't happen very often as I tend to be pretty good at detecting interest levels but sometimes I have that I don't get a good read on.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Two questions:

1) Are you sure it was a date?
2) If the answer to the above is yes, why are you trying to date co-workers??

 

[manfrombelow]

Two questions:

1) Are you sure it was a date?
2) If the answer to the above is yes, why are you trying to date co-workers??

1. yes.
2. she looks and feels so fine I wanna fvck her so bad. I even came to the date thinking I must at least get sth in return even just a to tongue kiss.

Don't know why or how I got this rusty and desperate.

 

[manfrombelow]

OK, after a good night's sleep, my mind is now much clearer.

I had already lost my frame before coming to the date, I had thought about this chick way too much from day one, I was dreaming of having sex with her, I was hoping to bang her, and I was basically putting her on a pedestal the entire time that led to the date. I think I gave off too much desperation vibe, especially when I tried (and failed) to ask her to go to the cinema with me the moment she wanted to leave.

So yeah, even though I used to be able to pull quite numerous FWB's and plates in the past, it's obvious from what happened my skills are rusty, and I am in a needy state of mind. So success in the past doesn't guarantee success in the present, and my case is a good case study I assume (watch and learn youngsters of SS).

This is a tough pill to swallow, as I (may I repeat) never had a girl walking out in the middle of a date before, therefore it hurts like crazy.

At this moment while I'm typing this post, I'm also seeing the chick in my eye view. I will not initiate to ask her out again, ever.

Thanks again brothers and sisters of SS for hearing me out.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Hey, I'm that one guy.
The post is pure gold. How long did it take you to first realize all this and then internalize it?

I know you are. I recognize that in you.

It took me 5 years here on SoSuave to internalize it and make it a lifestyle, but I had no one to spell it out for me back in those days. I put it together from my private conversations with Pook and Jophill and Antidump and a few others.

Then I decided (independent of them) to do a complete 180 from trying to get girls to like me and I devoted one full year to rejecting and correcting them. I didn’t let them get away with anything, including the women in my family. ALL women. Much to my own surprise, higher-quality women started becoming attracted to me. I then set about self-calibrating.

Here on SS my persona is fairly arrogant and direct, but in RL I’m considered very kind, friendly, etc. I took those positive aspects of my personality and carefully wove them into my “you really don’t want to f with me” attitude and made myself into the guy I described in my post above. I aimed for well-balanced but dangerous to screw around with. I tolerate zero nonsense from women.

Ever since then I’ve had zero problems attracting quality women. I come across as detached but friendly and fun.

Unfortunately in life, usually a person who gets something together and excels at it finds it impossible to articulate a step-by-step procedure. Everything is so nuanced. I basically got my hands dirty and mined the gold out of the soil here at SS and mentally erased my history. Then I rebuilt myself from the ground up, using the SS principles as my guidelines. It works.

 

[pipeman84]

It took me 5 years here on SoSuave to internalize it and make it a lifestyle, but I had no one to spell it out for me back in those days. I put it together from my private conversations with Pook and Jophill and Antidump and a few others.

You managed to get a hold of AD? I thought he was long gone by the time you got here (it says 2008 in your profile).

 

[Pedrito0906]

You say you're not a rookie but instead you take her to a dinner date? To do what sit and talk? Why didn't you take her to do a fun hobbie you like to do? And worse you propose a fvcking cinema? To do what? Sit there another hour looking at a screen? Good on her for walking out on that boring date.

Daily, same department, even same team

That's the worst of all, she has you in her mind as the boring guy who took her to eat and proposed cinema after, and even worser (lol) is that she will tell every woman there, can you change teams? Or change companies? Your reputation with the women there will not be good bro.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Drinks and apps while sitting at the bar
is my absolute fave for first and early dates.

While facing each other, you can lean into each other, lots of opportunity for kino escalation without it feeling forced.

Has a guy ever taken you to latin music dance / dance lessons on a venue where there is food and drinks? That's the easiest way to have fun and escalate.