"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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how'd this convo go and how about this C&F comment?

solo1

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Anyway there's this girl that lately i've been trying to game. i have 2 classes with her and dont get much of a chance except during breaks or after class.

Anyway today in class:

me: Hey jane how was your weekend, you got egged?
her: egged? (she's a foreign student)
me: yea
her: oh egg noo (smiling)
me: did you go out?
her: yea i went as star wars girl
me: ah sweet
her: (using her hand to outline where her outfit was showing skin)
me: So where'd you go?
her: a bar
me: wait, star wars girl who?(confused not sure which star wars girl..so many)
her: star wars girl.
me: uh..yea, so you got any pics?
her: yea i do
me: thats great, i'd love to see em (in a confident, caring, non-aggressive tone)
her: (smiled and nodded)
well if she remembers, then she'll bring the pics tomorrow, if not oh well.

Anyway thats all the time i had with her to talk.
Afterwards I was thinking of busting her with saying "stayed out all night trick-or-treating iddnt you? Look your teeth's already rotting from all the candy."
But after thinking about it, she might take it as an insult as her 2 front fang teeths are slightly bulging out. i thought it was a good comment. But guess ill have to use something else tomorrow.
Aside from her teeth, she's a solid 8.

What do you guys think about the convo and the c&f comment above?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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doctoroxygen

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That comment is definitely not something you should say, regardless of whether or not her teeth bulge. It's neither ****y nor funny. It's just weird.

The conversation was fine though. I didn't see anywhere where you were building attraction. Ask fewer questions, tell more stories, say something funny.
 

aftershock

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I think that she could get genuinely hurt by that neg hit that you're proposing. That isn't what you want. Think about it - if she blantently insulted one of your features that you dislike you wouldn't then want to fvck her.

You could have teased her about liking Star Wars or something, that might have been better. It is pretty geeky, after all. Or perhaps where she's from - I've found that I've managed to find a stereotype from pretty much every part of the country that you can play with.

I blew my chances with a girl the other day because I insulted rather than negged. Be careful.
 

solo1

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Originally posted by aftershock
I think that she could get genuinely hurt by that neg hit that you're proposing. That isn't what you want. Think about it - if she blantently insulted one of your features that you dislike you wouldn't then want to fvck her.

You could have teased her about liking Star Wars or something, that might have been better. It is pretty geeky, after all. Or perhaps where she's from - I've found that I've managed to find a stereotype from pretty much every part of the country that you can play with.

I blew my chances with a girl the other day because I insulted rather than negged. Be careful.
You guys are right...neg hits & c&f can get really confusing at times. Gotta be careful to find the thin line between insult and funny.

Bah personally it's not easy being funny with someone who doesnt have english as their first language...kinda like that egg joke, took her awhile to get it.

Some examples of neg hits and C&F would be nice if you guys dont mind, show me the 2 ways of stating a similar idea in neg hit and c&f form
 

doctoroxygen

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In my experience, C&F is waaaay easier on non-native English speakers, since you don't actually have to be that funny. The key with non-natives is to exaggerate the humorous mannerisms you have in English; what's funny to them is your tonality and body language, rather than what you say.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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solo1

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Originally posted by doctoroxygen
In my experience, C&F is waaaay easier on non-native English speakers, since you don't actually have to be that funny. The key with non-natives is to exaggerate the humorous mannerisms you have in English; what's funny to them is your tonality and body language, rather than what you say.
I agree, any time i talk to her, it's been rather easy to make her smile and laugh. And i didnt have to try at all...
I also agree about the tonality and body language. but a lot of times because of this i have no clue what to talk about.

Well wish me luck im gonna # close tomorrow...
 
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