"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How'd i do?

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crazyman11

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Arite, so HB8 was texting me, she first texted me at about 4:30, I texted back at 11

HB 8: Hello sunflower eatin crocker nose...(inside joke)

Me: You forgot to add in the part where i am gangsta(Inside joke, again)

HB:Haha! oh... Hello "one very intimidating gangstuh cracker nose sunflowereater"... Better?! Haha!

Me: Damn straight it is. And hello to you too

HB:U forgot "one mean n large blue pimp slap ni@@uh lips"... Hahaha!

Me: Nah, i didnt. I can just say "you" for short. Thats how i do, son

HB: Aah! Aryte aryte... Fine! I took so long typin up ur name n my name... ='(( haha!

Me: Haha, thank you then. See? You didnt do all of that for nothing

HB: Haha! Oh wow! Okay then... I guess... ='p

me: Hay, you should be grateful, i should at least get a "Your welcome" for saying thank you. Sukka :D

HB: Haha! Nope! ='p ... Ugh son! N thats how I DO!

Me: Arite then. I gotto go to sleep now. Gotta wake up hella early tomorrow for cross country, at like 8:30(did i give too much info there?)

HB: Daaamn! Too early! Kay gewd nyte GANGSTUH!

Me: Finally you got it right :D. nite

HB: Haha. Yea wuhever! Kay gewhd nyte... >='P

And in case this is useful, I've known her for about 2-3 years, but we havn't really talked a lot until now. she broke up with her boyfriend of about 2-3 years a month ago, so how long should i wait?
 
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“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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crazyman11

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Hey, we were fooling around!!! That's how we talk because we know how stupid it looks, and we're teenagers. Besides, i'm not gonna spend an hour to fully write out every single letter, or fix all my mistakes and get hand cramps
 

Jovan

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Not only did my IQ drop... but you said you have know her for 2 or 3 years...

You seriously want to know how much longer you should wait, come on Man stop the small talk with this chick and get down to business... you intimidating gangstuh cracker nose sunflowereater :eek:
 

crazyman11

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Haha, well like i said she had a boyfriend, and i was in Jr. high and didn't know jack s#!& about SS
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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noirsake

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could you translate all to english plz crazyman?
 

ElStud

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You all must have very low IQs because I can easily understand this.

So for the idiots:
Alright, so an HB8 was texting me, and she first texted me at about 4:30. I texted back at 11.

HB 8: Hello sunflower eating crocker nose...(inside joke)

Me: You forgot to add in the part where I am gangster(Inside joke, again)

HB:Haha! oh... Hello "one very intimidating gangster cracker nose sunflower eater"... Better?! Haha!

Me: Damn straight it is. And hello to you too.

HB:U forgot "one mean and large blue pimp slap ni@@uh lips"... Hahaha!

Me: Nah, I didnt. I can just say "you" for short. Thats how I do, son.

HB: Aah! Alright alright... Fine! I took so long typing up your name and my name... ='(( haha!

Me: Haha, thank you then. See? You didnt do all of that for nothing.

HB: Haha! Oh wow! Okay then... I guess... ='p

me: Hay, you should be grateful, I should at least get a "Your welcome" for saying thank you. Sucker.

HB: Haha! Nope! ='p ... Ugh son! And thats how I DO!

Me: Alright then. I have to go to sleep now. I have to wake up very early tomorrow for cross country, which is at like 8:30(Did I give too much info there?).

HB: Daaamn! Too early! Okay good night GANSTER!

Me: Finally you got it right . Night.

HB: Haha. Yea whatever! Okay good night... >='P
 

crazyman11

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Ugh, forget it. Can someone lock this thread? It was a waste of time posting here
 

ElStud

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Yeah, don't worry man, there are just some asses on this board. Seriously though, anyone with a 5th Grade Education could read that.
 

drummer

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haha dude i was joking.

it just seems like there wasn't much to this convo. i know that just talking is a large part of relationships but it doesn't justify trying to find something hidden in that.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Jon55

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If I read "Haha!" again I'm going to burn a bag of kittens.
 

miniPIMPIN

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i hate when white people have joking conversations in slang... its like ur way of being racist but not showing it...
 

crazyman11

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miniPIMPIN said:
i hate when white people have joking conversations in slang... its like ur way of being racist but not showing it...
Why, because only black people can talk slang? Oh, and just so you know, we're not white. Thanks for stereotyping.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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BURN HAHA!!

if you have a problem with someone's skin color, have your eyes poked out so you don't have to look at them.
if you have a problem with the way someone talks, slang or accent, go tear your ears off so you don't have to hear them ever.

if you don't want to do either of these, then realize not everybody is like you are.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

Read more...

Alkali

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Agreed. Also, texting isn't someting where we can say Atta' Boy! Anyone can be smooth over the phone, internet, etc.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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I actually think real life is the easiest way to be smooth, also you can use kino.
I always seem weird on the phone or especially weird online since I'm overcomfortable.. thats right all you male b!tches, start talking to some ears instead of some damn computer program or a reciever.
 

miniPIMPIN

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crazyman11 said:
Why, because only black people can talk slang? Oh, and just so you know, we're not white. Thanks for stereotyping.

never said only black people can talk slang just sayin how it bugs me when white people who was never raised to talk that way do it as an inside joke... see thats where i figured u was white and im sorry. but yea they wouldnt do it around a black person. but yea its watever.
 

crazyman11

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miniPIMPIN said:
never said only black people can talk slang just sayin how it bugs me when white people who was never raised to talk that way do it as an inside joke... see thats where i figured u was white and im sorry. but yea they wouldnt do it around a black person. but yea its watever.

I could continue to make you look bad, but i'm not going to for two reasons.

1. talking trash over the internet is stupid, and i could care less about how big you think my e-pen0r is

2. this thread is going waaayyy off topic, I don't know why any mods havn't closed this yet. So if any mods are reading this, can you please, just lock this thread?

I am not getting any help from this thread, so it would be better just to lock this thread
 

ElStud

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Wow you guys are assh*les, you come into a perfectly good thread and you trash it, what, because your reading level is below 5th Grade and you can't understand slang? Grow up, please.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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