How would you take this response?

BJP1991

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Called girl been I’ve seeing the other afternoon. She answered and sounded positive/upbeat on the phone. When I asked her availability to get out together sometime or to do dinner at my place (been dating one month, 5 dates), she said probably not until next week and she would let me know on Sunday what her availability is for the specific day she mentioned or that weekend. Been out together 5 times, she made me a fancy dinner on our third date, sex on all but the first date.

How would you read this? It’s been a little over a week since our last date when I called, and we both had vacations between so I didn’t bother initiating then.

In cases like this, with a girl you already have rapport with and have been intimate with, do you find they keep their word and actually let you know when they say they will? I realize that anything that isn’t a definitive “yes” = NO, however she did say “yes” initially, but gave me the I’ll let you know on Sunday BS.

For context, I only ever contact her to setup dates and let all the communication happen on the actual dates.

If I don’t hear from her on the day she said she would let me know, wait a full week and try again, or is it really one strike and you’re out territory?
 
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AttackFormation

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Just wait for her to contact you and forget about her in the meantime since the ball is in her park and she knows it is... you don't have to go overboard deciding whether to overcompensate or drop her entirely. Don't fret things too hard.
 

BJP1991

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Just wait for her to contact you and forget about her in the meantime since the ball is in her park and she knows it is... you don't have to go overboard deciding whether to overcompensate or drop her entirely. Don't fret things too hard.
Kind words - I appreciate that. You’re right and that’s what I’m trying and planning to do. Have a busy weekend ahead with a lot of fun **** and I need to just remember that I am valuable. Some reason I got a bit hung up on this girl and I think my wanting to see her again gets me overthinking.
 

stringpuller

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Called girl been I’ve seeing the other afternoon. She answered and sounded positive/upbeat on the phone. When I asked her availability to get out together sometime or to do dinner at my place (been dating one month, 5 dates), she said probably not until next week and she would let me know on Sunday what her availability is for the specific day she mentioned or that weekend. Been out together 5 times, she made me a fancy dinner on our third date, sex on all but the first date.

How would you read this? It’s been a little over a week since our last date when I called, and we both had vacations between so I didn’t bother initiating then.

In cases like this, with a girl you already have rapport with and have been intimate with, do you find they keep their word and actually let you know when they say they will? I realize that anything that isn’t a definitive “yes” = NO, however she did say “yes” initially, but gave me the I’ll let you know on Sunday BS.

For context, I only ever contact her to setup dates and let all the communication happen on the actual dates.

If I don’t hear from her on the day she said she would let me know, wait a full week and try again, or is it really one strike and you’re out territory?
Shes asking you to back off a bit. Without knowing the specifics it sounds like your calling/texting to much. Stay off the phone. Its an attraction killer. Set dates and if a girl does this to you let her be and ask out someone else. She will contact you. I promise.

I know you said you are not but her reactions saying otherwise. Are you certain your only calling to setup? When they do this. Take it away and say something like. Ya know lets do this another time when your availability is better. And follow through. It works
 

backseatjuan

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She's letting you go easy.
Consider skipping a week when dating women.
*
What you do now is don't contact her, this week, the next week, and the week after that, before you hit her up again. If she does hit you up before that, don't be quick to jump onto her, say you got some work, can't right this moment.
 
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BJP1991

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Shes asking you to back off a bit. Without knowing the specifics it sounds like your calling/texting to much. Stay off the phone. Its an attraction killer.

As I mentioned, we only text or call for date logistics and it had been a full week since our last date. In between the last date and my call there was no initiation during our overlapping vacations.

So I really don’t think I was calling or texting too much at all, actually. That is something I am always conscious of with women I date.

Thoughts with that context in mind?
 

BJP1991

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She's letting you go easy.
Consider skipping a week when dating women.
*
What you do now is don't contact her, this week, the next week, and the week after that, before you hit her up again. If she does hit you up before that, don't be quick to jump onto her, say you got some work, can't right this moment.
I’ll wait it out. I actually made a date for the specific night she was referencing that she “might be available” for, with a completely different girl, so if she gets back to me I’m already busy now, but will suggest the weekend instead, which we already discussed as a potential option.
 

Glassguy

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she said probably not until next week and she would let me know on Sunday what her availability is for the specific day she mentioned or that weekend.
She just told you.

My advice- If you dont hear from her on Sunday, pull back by backing off. Nothing good comes from following up all the time because it shows you have no life and it shows that you care more than her.

Which is exactly where you are at right now because I doubt she is starting threads about you on sofeminine.com lol

Chill bro. She will come back around and let you know if she is still interested. Until then, find more chicks.
 

stringpuller

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As I mentioned, we only text or call for date logistics and it had been a full week since our last date. In between the last date and my call there was no initiation during our overlapping vacations.

So I really don’t think I was calling or texting too much at all, actually. That is something I am always conscious of with women I date.

Thoughts with that context in mind?
Gotcha. Man dude she might actually be busy. Not sure her lifestyle. Hard to say.
Stay busy to and wait her out. If you fckd her good enough she will be back.
 

Espi

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How would you read this? It’s been a little over a week since our last date when I called, and we both had vacations between so I didn’t bother initiating then.
10 dates 2 dates 6 dates. Doesn't matter.

Relationships usually fizzle. Very normal in my opinion.

I'd go 100% ghost and assume there is no date and that there is no relationship.

And then I'd shrug my shoulders and move on to someone/something else.
 
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BJP1991

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Well, the day came and went with no word from her. Bummer, but whatever.

Wait two weeks and text her sometime? Or forget about her entirely?
 

AttackFormation

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Well, the day came and went with no word from her. Bummer, but whatever.

Wait two weeks and text her sometime? Or forget about her entirely?
Delete her number
 

oldmanofthesea

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Forget about her entirely is my advice.

Guys forget that women have the same feelings of interest that men do, IF they are actually interested. They aren't brain dead idiots on auto pilot who need a man to remind them that they like him and want to see him. If she liked you, she would be thinking about you (just like you are thinking about her) and would remember to get back with you.

There's just nothing you can do here. Would she respond and agree to a date if you reached back out in another couple weeks? Possibly. But she has low interest which is not what you are looking for in a girl. But more likely is she wouldn't agree to it. All you can do is leave the ball in her court and continue on with your life and dating other women.
 

Alvafe

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and just you should know OP, you already should have another girl lined-up, when she said this sunday thing
 
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BJP1991

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and just you should know OP, you already should have another girl lined-up, when she said this sunday thing
I didn’t have one line up yet but have been working on a couple others the last few days.

Just to throw it out there - do women ever test guys this way? Tell a guy they’ll “let them know” and then delay letting them know? Don’t mean to reach at straws here, but just a question if others have gone through that before.

I deleted her number this morning actually. I know if she wants to get in touch, she will. Sorta a kick in the balls, especially since I never overpursued her at all, at least from a texting/calling standpoint I only initiated maybe once a week and she initiated once or twice as well.

I know things like this fizzle out all the time and a weeklong vacation with no contact, after the fourth date, probably doesn’t help.

If she reaches out sometime during this week, how do you go about it? Tell her you’re busy and make her find another time? Obviously at this point if she calls and asks for the same day, I’ll be unavailable (which I actually am now at this point).
 

In2theGame

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I didn’t have one line up yet but have been working on a couple others the last few days.

Just to throw it out there - do women ever test guys this way? Tell a guy they’ll “let them know” and then delay letting them know? Don’t mean to reach at straws here, but just a question if others have gone through that before.

I deleted her number this morning actually. I know if she wants to get in touch, she will. Sorta a kick in the balls, especially since I never overpursued her at all, at least from a texting/calling standpoint I only initiated maybe once a week and she initiated once or twice as well.

I know things like this fizzle out all the time and a weeklong vacation with no contact, after the fourth date, probably doesn’t help.

If she reaches out sometime during this week, how do you go about it? Tell her you’re busy and make her find another time? Obviously at this point if she calls and asks for the same day, I’ll be unavailable (which I actually am now at this point).
It has happened to me in the past and I would just go ahead and delete the number. The reason many guys don't do this is because they either have a small fear that they'll miss out on this girl or justify to themselves that "Maybe she will contact me later on so I'll hold on to the number". With Women, you need to be "Cut Throat" meaning if she's just blowing smoke up your azz with vague responses like "I'm not sure" or "I'll let you know" or "We'll see".... You need to just say "Ok" and delete that phone number. Focus on Women who have a genuine interest in you. In this case, She said she would contact you on Sunday, She did not = Interest level very low.

I would in fact get contacted by a girl 2 weeks later or in some cases a month or two later and when they sent me a text saying "Hey", I would genuinely ask "Who's this?" and when they told me who it was, I would normally just say something like "Oh hey whats up". They would go on to ask me why i didn't know who it was and I would respond with "I deleted your number because it seemed like you weren't interested so there was no point in having it in my phone". This got them understanding that I was not some guy who's hanging around to B.S. with them. They are either with it or not with it. What I always found funny is that their responses would be something like "Ohhh Nooo, I'm sorry about that. I just got caught up with work and things. I didnt mean to come off like that" Yeeeaaa Ok hunny lol.
 

dude99

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I didn’t have one line up yet but have been working on a couple others the last few days.

Just to throw it out there - do women ever test guys this way? Tell a guy they’ll “let them know” and then delay letting them know? Don’t mean to reach at straws here, but just a question if others have gone through that before.
The ones who want to be nexted or dumped do.

I deleted her number this morning actually. I know if she wants to get in touch, she will. Sorta a kick in the balls, especially since I never overpursued her at all, at least from a texting/calling standpoint I only initiated maybe once a week and she initiated once or twice as well.

I know things like this fizzle out all the time and a weeklong vacation with no contact, after the fourth date, probably doesn’t help.

If she reaches out sometime during this week, how do you go about it? Tell her you’re busy and make her find another time? Obviously at this point if she calls and asks for the same day, I’ll be unavailable (which I actually am now at this point).
If she reaches out at this point i would just ignore her. She is looking to waste your time.
 

BJP1991

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Texted me today. Some bull**** about being super busy with grad school and no time for anything else.

No response? Or simple “good luck with school”?
 

In2theGame

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Texted me today. Some bull**** about being super busy with grad school and no time for anything else.

No response? Or simple “good luck with school”?
Typical.

Respond with honesty "Ok, Not a problem hun. Hit me up when you genuinely have time. Good luck with school." After that text. Delete her number. Proceed with other Women.
 
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