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"How to Win Friends and Influence People" and the Alpha male?

BackInTheGame78

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After reading How To Win Friends and Influence People, I got a constant message: always listen to peoples' opinion, respect their opinion, and never overtly disagree, but to change their minds you need to agree with them first.

Yet I've also picked up that to be an alpha male, you musn't give a sh!t about other people.


How should the two be meshed? I don't want to "not give a sh!t", but at the same time don't want to end up like a wuss. Yet I'm not sure how to achieve this.

Should I express my own opinions openly, even if it offends people? Or should I covertly suggest my opinion while respecting everyone's opinion? How are the two ideals (Dale Carnegie's views and the Alpha male) mixed together?
One of my favorite books of all time and it helped shape me after reading it the first time when I was around 12. Have read it 4 or 5 more times since. Learn something new everytime.
 

mozarto.o

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I tried to read it, but it has way too much fluff
Started off by talking about a bank robbery and dualing
I´m reading it right now and it´s great man. He makes great points and justifies them with real life examples much like Green but less structured. And it´s only like 200 pages, what better thing do you have to do?
I´ve applied the knowledge to my current work and can already see things going well because of it.
Also I think that it goes well with the alpha mindset, you have to picture it like you´re helping the other person help themselves and you in the process.
When you are seducing a woman you (should) have the upper hand every time and are expected to be aggressive, in business not so much.
That´s why you have to use knowledge from both places and apply it as you see fit to every different situation.
The book also recommends keeping a journal with every interaction, reviewing them weekly and claims that the only way to make progress is a genuine desire to get better at human relations.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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I´m reading it right now and it´s great man. He makes great points and justifies them with real life examples much like Green but less structured. And it´s only like 200 pages, what better thing do you have to do?
I´ve applied the knowledge to my current work and can already see things going well because of it.
Also I think that it goes well with the alpha mindset, you have to picture it like you´re helping the other person help themselves.
Takes a few days tops to completely read. Worth it.
 

HyenaPrince

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Cant read books anymore. Dont know why. Everything sounds bs or like wasting time
Read books that haven't been written by coaches who have an agenda. Read stuff like The Alchemist, The Prince or The Fountainhead. That will give you a better perspective on every aspect in life. In all of the aforementioned books, the focus isn't about women. It's about reaching your personal goal or being the best at what you do.

Although The Prince is more about political ascent and strategizing, it's definitely beneficial for your people skills.

Everything about these books is alpha. Women come along automatically.
 

Jack12345

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Read books that haven't been written by coaches who have an agenda. Read stuff like The Alchemist, The Prince or The Fountainhead. That will give you a better perspective on every aspect in life. In all of the aforementioned books, the focus isn't about women. It's about reaching your personal goal or being the best at what you do.

Although The Prince is more about political ascent and strategizing, it's definitely beneficial for your people skills.

Everything about these books is alpha. Women come along automatically.
Have read ayn rand and the alchemist.
I like ayn rand, although she is a little bit extreme in times.. all this super ego stuff
The alchemist never had such influence on me could be because I been reading it in english when I was learning it.
The prince have downloaded on kindle few months ago started to read but something just not clicks... like any book I reading the recent time
 

Jack12345

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I remember once I read that when you achieve enlightenment you stop reading books. I guess all this enlightenment goal is just stay stupid
 

Jack12345

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I liked the relationship between the architect and the publicist female who would say trash about him while secretly admiring his work
 

Epicenter

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Read books that haven't been written by coaches who have an agenda. Read stuff like The Alchemist, The Prince or The Fountainhead. That will give you a better perspective on every aspect in life. In all of the aforementioned books, the focus isn't about women. It's about reaching your personal goal or being the best at what you do.

Although The Prince is more about political ascent and strategizing, it's definitely beneficial for your people skills.

Everything about these books is alpha. Women come along automatically.
These books seem too artificial to me after starting reading Destojevsky again.. It is said that he is the most psychological author.
 

HyenaPrince

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Would be interesting to hear your point of view on that. Pretty awsome book, just a little bit lack of fun I guess
Rand's writing is certainly lengthy at times. Maybe it's due to the translation from Russian to English. I enjoyed the book. Howard Roark and his polar opposite, Peter Keating, are perfect examples of working hard versus pure illusions for society's sake. Howard Roark is literally an anagram of hard work. I like his attitude towards society. Everybody wants to be popular, rich or at least seen. He wants to fulfill his personal legend (The Alchemist) and doesn't care about other people. The only thing he values are great minds and hard work.

The rise and fall of Keating was also a great indicator of how trivial materialistic ideals and a desire for attention are. He came begging to Roark for the truth again and again, when he realized his life wasn't fulfilling. Amazing read.
 

HyenaPrince

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These books seem too artificial to me after starting reading Destojevsky again.. It is said that he is the most psychological author.
Every author writes about what he or she has in mind. There is nothing artificial about the thoughts of a writer who wants to convey his or her story to the world. I've never read a book of Dostoevsky. But I've heard that his writing style is complex. Also, he approaches things from the perspective of a Russian. Since Russian itself is a very complicated language, it seems to be a perfect tool for creating a complex story.

Can you tell me what distinction made you think that afterwards? I might start reading one of his books after finishing my current read.
 

Jack12345

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Rand's writing is certainly lengthy at times. Maybe it's due to the translation from Russian to English. I enjoyed the book. Howard Roark and his polar opposite, Peter Keating, are perfect examples of working hard versus pure illusions for society's sake. Howard Roark is literally an anagram of hard work. I like his attitude towards society. Everybody wants to be popular, rich or at least seen. He wants to fulfill his personal legend (The Alchemist) and doesn't care about other people. The only thing he values are great minds and hard work.

The rise and fall of Keating was also a great indicator of how trivial materialistic ideals and a desire for attention are. He came begging to Roark for the truth again and again, when he realized his life wasn't fulfilling. Amazing read.
Good overview :up:

Rand hinted about the bs of feminism in interviews as well.. long time ago
 

HyenaPrince

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Good overview :up:

Rand hinted about the bs of feminism in interviews as well.. long time ago
Yeah, she knew about the distinctive psychologies and qualities of both genders. It's ridiculous nowadays, how someone could even dare to explain an alleged equality of the sexes.
 

Epicenter

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Every author writes about what he or she has in mind. There is nothing artificial about the thoughts of a writer who wants to convey his or her story to the world. I've never read a book of Dostoevsky. But I've heard that his writing style is complex. Also, he approaches things from the perspective of a Russian. Since Russian itself is a very complicated language, it seems to be a perfect tool for creating a complex story.

Can you tell me what distinction made you think that afterwards? I might start reading one of his books after finishing my current read.
I don't feel like it's complicated. It feels fun to read. Maybe I don't get all the layers. I am only into it for one week. I write about it when I finished it.

For now this might be interesting:

" Though sometimes described as a literary realist, a genre characterized by its depiction of contemporary life in its everyday reality, Dostoevsky saw himself as a "fantastic realist".[5] According to Leonid Grossman, Dostoevsky wanted "to introduce the extraordinary into the very thick of the commonplace, to fuse... the sublime with the grotesque, and push images and phenomena of everyday reality to the limits of the fantastic."[6] Grossman saw Dostoevsky as the inventor of an entirely new novelistic form, in which an artistic whole is created out of profoundly disparate genres—the religious text, the philosophical treatise, the newspaper, the anecdote, the parody, the street scene, the grotesque, the pamphlet—combined within the narrative structure of an adventure novel.[7] Dostoevsky engages with profound philosophical and social problems by using the techniques of the adventure novel as a means of "testing the idea and the man of the idea".[8] Characters are brought together in extraordinary situations for the provoking and testing of the philosophical ideas by which they are dominated.[9] For Mikhail Bakhtin, 'the idea' is central to Dostoevsky's poetics, and he called him the inventor of the polyphonic novel, in which multiple "idea-voices" co-exist and compete with each other on their own terms, without the mediation of a 'monologising' authorial voice. It is this innovation, according to Bakhtin, that made the co-existence of disparate genres within an integrated whole artistically successful in Dostoevsky's case "

 

HyenaPrince

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She made many enemies
Imagine calling yourself a female chauvinist in the 1940s. You won't only have women as enemies, but also men. They won't let you have what you shouldn't possess in the first place. It's their privilege.
 

HyenaPrince

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I don't feel like it's complicated. It feels fun to read. Maybe I don't get all the layers. I am only into it for one week. I write about it when I finished it.

For now this might be interesting:

" Though sometimes described as a literary realist, a genre characterized by its depiction of contemporary life in its everyday reality, Dostoevsky saw himself as a "fantastic realist".[5] According to Leonid Grossman, Dostoevsky wanted "to introduce the extraordinary into the very thick of the commonplace, to fuse... the sublime with the grotesque, and push images and phenomena of everyday reality to the limits of the fantastic."[6] Grossman saw Dostoevsky as the inventor of an entirely new novelistic form, in which an artistic whole is created out of profoundly disparate genres—the religious text, the philosophical treatise, the newspaper, the anecdote, the parody, the street scene, the grotesque, the pamphlet—combined within the narrative structure of an adventure novel.[7] Dostoevsky engages with profound philosophical and social problems by using the techniques of the adventure novel as a means of "testing the idea and the man of the idea".[8] Characters are brought together in extraordinary situations for the provoking and testing of the philosophical ideas by which they are dominated.[9] For Mikhail Bakhtin, 'the idea' is central to Dostoevsky's poetics, and he called him the inventor of the polyphonic novel, in which multiple "idea-voices" co-exist and compete with each other on their own terms, without the mediation of a 'monologising' authorial voice. It is this innovation, according to Bakhtin, that made the co-existence of disparate genres within an integrated whole artistically successful in Dostoevsky's case "

I've read some time ago that he wrote about his experience before his planned execution. His perception of his surroundings changed and intensified during the moments before the execution. After he was reprieved and sent into exile, his whole style of writing changed. Shortly after he published Crime and Punishment. It seems to be one of his most popular works.

Were you able to tell a difference in his writings during the timeline before and after the reprieval?
 

Jack12345

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but also men
Yeah she lived the fountainhead lol
Ironically she was probably the alpha of the future established cult with all this objectivism idea, and men would probably send her flowers and love letters.. this is like the anecdote with god "this is not what I meant!"
 
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