"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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How to turn this girl down politely?

SteR

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About a year ago my buddy introduced me to a girl he knew that'd just split up with her bf. I made out with her in the club that evening but didn't expect to take things further. My buddy put a little pressure on me to take her out so I reluctantly agreed.

We went out for drinks a week or so later and although it was kinda fun, I didn't really feel like there was any spark.. I got the impression she wasn't that keen.

I left it there, expecting it to be over with, but she texted me back a few days later saying she wanted to meet up again. So I called her up and arranged another date.

The day of the date comes round and I get a text sent to me by mistake from this girl (what an idiot) basically saying that she was supposed to be going out with me that evening but couldn't be bothered. I felt so disrespected that I just texted her back saying right, the date's off. She of course sent a flurry of texts saying it was a mistake blah blah, she didn't mean it, wasn't ready to see new guys blah blah. I just texted her back saying well you should've said something earlier and left it at that.

Fast forward a few months and she starts texting me out the blue again, asking me how I am yada yada. I knew she realised there wasn't anyone out there better than me (no brag ;) ) and was trying to get me to take her out again. I basically ignored her messages or just replied very evasively.

Anyway fast forward another few months and she's doing the same thing. Except this time she's flat out asked me whether she can take me out to dinner and I don't know how I can dodge this one?

Realistically I know I don't want anything to do with this woman. I don't really have any desire to see her.. and I'm not the kinda guy to just have sex with her for the sake of it.. so how do I respond given the circumstances?

Any suggestions?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Falcon25

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"I'm seeing someone right now". It seems to work for women, why don't you try it for us men.
 

SteR

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Falcon25 said:
"I'm seeing someone right now". It seems to work for women, why don't you try it for us men.
Just tried that ^ :). Problem is I really hate lying but I can't think of any other way I can let someone down without making them feel **** :(

Thanks Falc
 
P

perseverance

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I was in your position I would have taken her up on her offer to go out to eat and then after a few days, I'd have informed her of my lacking interest by saying that "I'm just not that into you".
 

SteR

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perseverance said:
I was in your position I would have taken her up on her offer to go out to eat and then after a few days, I'd have informed her of my lacking interest by saying that "I'm just not that into you".
I try to treat people as I'd like to be treated :cool:
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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perseverance

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SteR said:
I try to treat people as I'd like to be treated :cool:
Yeah, so do I, but there are certain circumstances where a change of stance is required.

You aren't doing anything wrong by allowing this girl to take you out for dinner. You owe her nothing, seeing as she is taking you on her own accord and it's just a dinner date.

At least by letting her take you out and you declaring "I'm just not that into you", it appears to her that you have given her a chance.
 

Kailex

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Seriously, just LJBF her. I mean, is it so hard to put your foot down here? She disrespected you a year ago by being a moron.

If you REALLY want to go the a-hole route, one that's definitely low-road.

Set up a date with her.
Then the same day "accidentally" send her a text saying:

"Yeah, I'm supposed to have a date with Moron-Girl, but I just can't be bothered..."
 

jophil28

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Kailex said:
Seriously, just LJBF her. I mean, is it so hard to put your foot down here? She disrespected you a year ago by being a moron.

If you REALLY want to go the a-hole route, one that's definitely low-road.

Set up a date with her.
Then the same day "accidentally" send her a text saying:

"Yeah, I'm supposed to have a date with Moron-Girl, but I just can't be bothered..."
You have a real mean streak in you, Kailex ....:cheer:
 

SteR

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Kailex said:
Seriously, just LJBF her. I mean, is it so hard to put your foot down here? She disrespected you a year ago by being a moron.

If you REALLY want to go the a-hole route, one that's definitely low-road.

Set up a date with her.
Then the same day "accidentally" send her a text saying:

"Yeah, I'm supposed to have a date with Moron-Girl, but I just can't be bothered..."
haha, didn't even think of that
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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