How to stay out of old Beta tendencies with a new girl

[MusicLover10]

at 35 I had only been with 4 women when I broke off an LTR 2 months ago and have really put work into applying "game" and am having some results.

Last week I finally got laid with a solid 8 who after giving me the cheek on my first 2 attempts to kiss her, turned into a raging nympho on the 3rd date. We had a LOT of sex but it was clear she wanted more at the end of the night and she also wanted me to be rough with her, which I did. I smacked her ass and thighs with tremendous force and she loved it and other rough play.

It was fun and I want to keep this going with her but already see beta tendencies creeping in mentally and I find myself worried about "messing this up" and feel anxious about it.

What I want is to see her once a week or so, do something fun, then have sex. I do not want a relationship and want to keep spinning plates and I am pretty damn sure this is actually what this girl wants too.

I just have never had a sexual relationship with a woman that was not trying to make me her "soul-mate" what do I do? how do I behave? Being "myself" is not going to work because I am so hard wired to be a good husband (was married for 6 years) or boyfriend. Looking for general advice but here are a few specifics

1) Do I kiss her when I see her now? I am going to a party with her in a few nights and I am not sure how to act

2) I want to bring sex toys into our next interaction. I enjoy using them on woman and she is so damn horny based on our first encounter I know she will love it. But is this a bad move in any way?

3) We text a little, but nothing major. Do I flirt with her in text, and use text to amp up sexual tension between us? Or just text to set up our next date and be physically aggressive then.

4) Who the fuc* is this girl? I am trying to "figure her out" - she works for the world bank and is very smart and after 2 dates of no kissing she wanted me to choke her while having sex and I smacked her across the face and she loved it. I want to just enjoy it without analyzing it but its hard, how do I just have fun?

I am glad I found this forum, after a lifetime of being an AFC I really want to change but its damn hard. thanks for your input.

 

[wifehunter]

If you ever feel the neediness/afc/beta tendancies...straight up LEAVE and regroup. Better to be gone, than ruin things.

 

[lizardking82]

1) That's a given

2) Nope, bring the toys, only spices up the fun

3) Text is situational, noone here can teach you how to use text or how not to. This is earned with experience and maybe you will, but I would say let her do most of the texting and reply in an easy going/chill mode. It keeps you in her mind just like that and it keeps the chemicals flowing throughout the day. Subtly, though, don't overdo it.

4) Stop trying to figure her out. If she wants you to figure her out, she will make it so easy you won;t know what happened. Meet up, have sex with her and just enjoy the ride while it lasts. In the meantime, it would not hurt if you started focusing some energy in some other possible plates

Everytime you get beta tendencies, remind yourself of the person you wanna be. Slap yourself in the face and keep going down that hard and long road to becoming the "****er", not the "****ed".

 

[AlphaNate]

1. Hold your frame.
2. Hold your frame.
3. Hold your frame.
4. Hold your frame.

 

[RangerMIke]

Date other chicks. If your attention is divided among multiple chicks, you can not care too much about one too much.