How to spot a user?

[mrgoodstuff]

#1 for not a user is she wouldn't be going in her pockets on $100 dates

 

[highSpeed]

this is a little long but would love your DJs comments and experience,

Hey DJs! so I''ve been seeing this girl for 2 months and so far we've been on 6 dates, this past weekend being one of them (all overnight dates).

so far - lots of sex, she has been doing a LOT of chasing as many of her texts go unanswered to the point where she is sending stressed out/annoyed emojis - but she knows that I'm a very busy man and have an active social life.

she has been very cooperative with my plans and has enjoyed being in my world from what I can see.

however, here are a couple red flags I've noted from her end:

• she has told me her longest relationship has been 5 months (keep in mind she is 28yrs old)
• she has had F*#k buddy type of situationships that she said has surpassed 5 months straight
• she has daddy issues and she has admitted to this, but said she has overcome a lot of it throughout the years
• she has been backing away from her group of girl friends she has been friends with for over 10 years - because all they are interested in is partying and drinking, and she said she has grown tire of it
• she has mentioned a couple of times that she would love to leave home as it is too stressful for her, and she has to pay the bills, etc. (to which I don't say anything, and I don't fall into her frame or play a white knight)
• with that said, she doesn't seem to want to be home - and I can see where being in my world is so much more enjoyable because I have a lot out social clout in my country (people know me everywhere I go and follow my popular instagram travel account) and she has a lot of new experiences with me, and enjoys the places I go to

I can see how for her, it would be so easy to want to continue to see me - and live in my world, as opposed to keeping in her seemingly stressful and unstimulating environment.

one the other hand - she has been very cooperative with sex, and I've never had to bargain or beg her or otherwise negotiate with her, and I know at 2 months in this is normal.

now my real question is this: how can I spot a user/manipulator?

I noticed whenever we're traveling together she always takes pics of the scenery and stuff, but never takes pictures of us. My experiences with other women have been different - they take photos of us together to keep for memories sake.

also noticed, she uses the photos of course to post on instagram - and I've read too much on women using guys to up their social game and for his connections.

here are a couple of screenshots of a conversation last night that I answered after she texted me about 7 times between Monday and Tuesday before getting a reply from me:

note that she said about the cool part after I sent her some photos I took of her at a waterfalls we visited. I'm very good with photography so she got some "cool" shots.

note - after she got the pics, she didn't say thanks or goodnight. however this morning she already posted the photos. I know this sounds like a woman talking here - but I also don't want to be with someone who's only interested in what I have to offer in my world.

note also: for the last 2 dates (overnight), she has started to invest money on the dates of over $100 - so I also like that she is investing too.

since the phone is only to set dates - I also took the opportunity last night to invite her out this weekend again. she agreed so I'm picking her up on Saturday and I'm planning a chill weekend for the next 2 - 3 dates - I want to see what her reaction or interest level will be not doing anything too "cool" or "extravagant".

View attachment 1387

View attachment 1388

View attachment 1389

lol, if she's a woman, she's some level of user. It's all about the art of the deal. Push her for a deal that makes sense to you. Commit only when you feel as if it's best for you, not to help her. When you commit though, commit fully. That way, you can feel good about trying to get the deal in your favor and not feel as if you're taking advantage of someone. You're simply making her work for your attention and resources. Do this and you will be happy.

 

[17 shots]

You dont ever want to be the guy in the pictures, trust me

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You dont ever want to be the guy in the pictures, trust me

That's the one being cheated on?

 

[Spidah]

Guys, we are supposed to be using these hoes.

I'm a user. So its impossible to get used. I'm too selfish to get used by a bytch.

 

[Soflobro#2]

Guys, we are supposed to be using these hoes.

I'm a user. So its impossible to get used. I'm too selfish to get used by a bytch.

men and women use each other. If a woman associates with you, shes only doing it because she's getting something from you.

 

[Spidah]

men and women use each other. If a woman associates with you, shes only doing it because she's getting something from you.

No doubt.

I'm talking about guys who get nothing in return. I always get mine or the bytch gets dropped.

 

[Soflobro#2]

No doubt.

I'm talking about guys who get nothing in return. I always get mine or the bytch gets dropped.

I mean its better for it to be an uneven trade in your favor then the reverse.

 

[Serenity]

Hmmm, this one has me thinking. She might be putting a lot of effort into getting better, but it's hard to tell from my point of view. There's a couple of things that stick out to me. First is that she don't take pictures of herself at all, it is an indicator of self-esteem issues, the question is whether it's isolated to pictures or is you can see low self-esteem creep through in other areas. It's typical for daddy issues to have low self-esteem. Second is using image quotes to express emotions, this may also indicate low self-esteem. The reason being that they don't have the self-esteem to put their feelings into their own words, so they hide behind something written by someone else to express their feelings.

I dunno.

 

[Murk]

low self esteem is common in women and not that big of a deal

 

[upcoming_DJ]

A user wastes your time and/or money without giving you sex.
You can detect this type of female nature within the first 2 dates

But you said you're getting lots of sex.
It sounds like you're having F buddy problems.

I've thought about this - since she has been honest about her past saying that most of her situations have been **** buddies type of relationships - nothing formal and sometimes for long.

we spent another weekend together this past weekend and every time we hang out it seems like she's bonding a little more. I couldn't bang her because she was on her red so I stayed away. However she asked me to take a picture with her on Saturday night and I didn't. she was also using language that signals she's probably looking at this as something that could lead to something more formal and she's talking about the future already (ie. making plans of what we'll do well down in 2 - 4 weeks).

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Hmmm, this one has me thinking. She might be putting a lot of effort into getting better, but it's hard to tell from my point of view. There's a couple of things that stick out to me. First is that she don't take pictures of herself at all, it is an indicator of self-esteem issues, the question is whether it's isolated to pictures or is you can see low self-esteem creep through in other areas. It's typical for daddy issues to have low self-esteem. Second is using image quotes to express emotions, this may also indicate low self-esteem. The reason being that they don't have the self-esteem to put their feelings into their own words, so they hide behind something written by someone else to express their feelings.

I dunno.

well she has been honest enough to tell me that she's suffered with low self esteem. I guess being around me (as a high value male that has other women working for my attention) this is also helping her to get that ego boost. However, because I treat her right I don't do lots of verbal complements (I think I've complemented her around 4 times so far only). she treats me right, is beginning to be more affectionate in public, meeting my friends and family and interacting with them.

 

[Serenity]

well she has been honest enough to tell me that she's suffered with low self esteem. I guess being around me (as a high value male that has other women working for my attention) this is also helping her to get that ego boost. However, because I treat her right I don't do lots of verbal complements (I think I've complemented her around 4 times so far only). she treats me right, is beginning to be more affectionate in public, meeting my friends and family and interacting with them.

Well, since you can't be sure then go with the flow. You could always just pull the fvck out if problems arise. Sounds like you're enjoying each other, don't try to fix something that isn't broken.