"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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How to respond to this reply to ask out

T

TheCWord

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Only now really forcing myself to get back on the horse after a severe case of oneitis. So I decided to text this girl who is a lot of fun to banter with - the way she matches wits with me is a major part of the attraction - and told her to meet me for a drink at this bar tonight. I'm going to the bar regardless, I like to pop in for a scotch when I can, but I'd like the company.

(Edited out her reply to avoid Google arching it... basically she said she may just pop by and will get back to me once she knows)

How would you reply?
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Naughty Ninja

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TheCWord said:
Only now really forcing myself to get back on the horse after a severe case of oneitis. So I decided to text this girl who is a lot of fun to banter with - the way she matches wits with me is a major part of the attraction - and told her to meet me for a drink at this bar tonight. I'm going to the bar regardless, I like to pop in for a scotch when I can, but I'd like the company.

Her reply:

"If I get off early I may!! With my friend from work and she lives a road over so always have to bring her home! But might stop by for one! Ill let u know if I can get out before 8:30"

How would you reply?
Click to expand...
The over emphasis in her reply with the exclamation points (if she actually used them) would to me come across as a chick who is just fluff talking. (Not in a bad way) so no need to think to deep into it.

I'd reply back mirroring her use of exclamation points and use of "may" in a reply:

Cool! I may or may not be there when you arrive or I may even be unconcious on the floor so make sure you look down! If so, please call the paramedics! Hahaha. Talk to you soon! ;)

Edit: The reply I made "assumes" that she IS going to show. I put a little positive, humorous friendly reinforcement in it.


And leave it at that. If she shows. She shows. If not, nothing to worry about. Maybe next time.
 
T

TheCWord

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Thanks guys. Both good responses. In the end the winner was....

BrownBear!

I didn't reply and sure enough got a text while I was getting ready to go out to the bar anyway. It was a good time with the exciting back and forth banter we've come to enjoy from each other. To be continued, perhaps next time on a proper date.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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