"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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How to Politely Decline?

dannycc

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We all encounter situations where we want or have to decline a social invitation or a girl who is not quite who we want.

The more I go out, the more social I am, the more this becomes a real issue.

Saturday night, there was a gal who, while not horrible looking, was just not my type. She approached me many times and invited me to a specific club. At first, she simply said she was going there. Then, she came back and told me she was going, and waited for me. Then, she came back and told me she was going, waited, invited me, and kept asking even though I said I said I was staying at this first spot.

The next day, I ran into a woman who has repeatedly invited me out and wants to meet up. She is engaged, so I really don't feel like it. She made a bit of a scene, even though I told her politely several times my schedule doesn't allow it.

How do you handle women who keep begging you to come with them?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Masculinity

Master Don Juan
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I think you handled it pretty well. There will always be a person or two who are persistent and will not take not for an answer. Sometimes, you have to be ambiguous as to why you're rejecting them so that bridges aren't burned.
 

Obsidian

Master Don Juan
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Pook has a specific section on this, called "W0manese."
 

dannycc

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Well, I wish I had that many opportunities. I did have 7 or 8 women approach me on saturday so I have plenty of opportunities.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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El Payaso

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Tell them no.
 
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