"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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How to keep your bathroom always smelling fresh?!

DJDamage

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I may be sounding a little neurotic here but I am just wondering what is the best way keep your bathroom still smelling good after you take a sh1t?! I mean I do use Air wick fresh after but its still has that lingering smell to it. I am always a bit nervous to take a sh1t if I have a woman over because I think if she takes one whif of the bathroom afterwards that just might be the end of the night.

Any good suggestions? I know for a fact that other places have always good smelling bathrooms even after I take a sh1t, so I am wondering if those places have better ventilation systems or those gay looking soaps and leaves that do it as well.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Quiksilver

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Clean smelling bathroom guide:

Step 1) Scent source

buy one of those things that you plug into the wall that give off that perfume smell.

Step 2) Air flow

You need a way for fresh air to enter the washroom. In commercial places there's usually an air duct leading in to the bathroom. Now you need a way for air to escape.. the fan in the roof perhaps?

When you take a ****, make sure there's air flow into, and out of the bathroom. If that means leaving the door open a little crack, so be it. That's what I do when I'm at home. Don't worry, the fan in the roof will create enough air pressure so no air will escape out the slightly opened door. In no time it smells fresh again because there's clean air to replace the smelly.

Most washrooms fail because they have the fan in the roof, but no way for air to get in to the bathroom...

If you trim an inch off the bottom of your bathroom door, that should do the trick.

:up:
 

DJDamage

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Quiksilver said:
Step 1) Scent source

buy one of those things that you plug into the wall that give off that perfume smell.
Those ‘plug-in’ air freshener tend to catch on fire, so I will pass on them.

as for the second suggestion, its not bad if you are alone but if you already have a woman there its dicey. You can't just leave your door slight ajar because if by accident she walks in while you are sitting on the toilet and wiping your ass then rest assure that she will never sleep with you.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Crazy Asian

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How to keep your bathroom smelling clean?

Don't miss when you take a ****.
 

Rebound Material

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i dunno, this has worked for me and my friends. Always keep 1-2 packs of matches in your bathroom. I swear, after taking a nasty ass dump and you light 1 match(2 if you want) in your bathroom and keep the flame burning for as long as you could, the smell cancels out...give it a shot.
 

romangod

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DJDamage said:
Any good suggestions?

Use a portable bathroom. Discard it when you're done, stink and all. :moon:


Cheers!
 
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Try flushing as the turd hits the water. I call this the "courtesy flush." The "match trick" works too.
 

backbreaker

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1. air freshner and cent in the room

2. I keep a bottle of pine sol under the sink and whenver I use the restroom I poor some in the comole when I'm done and let it sit.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Cry For Love

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You might have some diet trouble if your stinkers are especially smelly though. Less meat and more veggies helps.
 
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