i went to a party last night and had like one positive response (both body language and verbal wise) out of all of the women there. i was pretty drunk (but not too drunk), just having fun, relaxing, teasing some people here and there, dancing a little, etc. and yet it's like i don't exist there. not that i want attention from every person but it's like i can never get positive responses from women even when i am just intoxicated and not giving a damn about anything. i even practiced some kino too on a couple of girls but it's like they continue to either try to brush you off in a subtle way or just be so shy around me. i am a pretty good looking guy too. maybe not all that tall, but muscular. maybe it has to do with social proof? or not being quite sexual enough to women? not really showing the right body language? i don't know.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
how to just 'be' more attractive to women at parties.
- Thread starter BlahBBlah
- Start date
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
DJHoolahoop
Senior Don Juan
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by approaching people man. by being interesting and interested. start introducing yourself to others and get to know them, take a break to get to do the same thing with others there. girls will see you as someone who has a high social status when it looks like you know all those people when in fact you're getting to know them. Both are attractive and possibly more so as she gets to see that you have no problems approaching people.
try not to drink at parties unless your plan is to not get any. then by all means, down the hatch!
try not to drink at parties unless your plan is to not get any. then by all means, down the hatch!
Yea man, you need a personality, engaging stories that don't offend anyone directly, interesting things to talk about and an aura of confidence. People will flock to hear what you have to say. Walking around flexing your muscles might work if you're at a party of body-builders but otherwise, you'll need to use your brain and have fun and interesting things to say.
i do have a personality and i have my own array of academic/other interests to attend to in my own spare time. in fact i talked with one guy about philosophy for a while and i loved it. then talked about one of my classes since a girl and i were both in there. so thank you for making assumptions.
well don't ask us to critique what you're doing wrong at parties. We've never met you. All we can do is offer suggestions on what you could be doing wrong. I apologize if my comment was a little harsh, but its true. If you have a great personality, nothing else matters.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Boschy
Senior Don Juan
At least you're getting out there. Treat it like a learning experience and refine your habits for next time. Women are natural experts at reading body language. Even mildly drunk people stand out a mile, let alone what they say or smell like. (My eyes turn into road maps when I'm into it, so it's impossible to hide from bouncers and chicks alike.) So the women at that party will be thinking, "Uh-huh. You're bold and cracking on to me only because you've been drinking. It's not genuine confidence, so I'm not going to respond."
Thanks for the advice everyone. I guess I need to lay off the alcohol and try to develop some natural confidence. Obviously I don't seem to be giving that off to people anywhere I go. I am confident with my studies, my career, my looks, etc. but I guess there's a whole different kind of confidence people look for.
Distant Light
Master Don Juan
Social proof is one of the best things to seem attractive in parties, like that guy said go an just talk to people as you go around working the groups all the other girls will notice you and you will be getting social proofed as girls here the girls around you laughing. Always great to leave a party with a girl on your arm just so you can be social proofed around the whole venue.
El MonoLoco
Master Don Juan
hhmmmmmm.......
I wonder what you need to be more attractive at the grocery store??
:crackup:
what a silly post...
I wonder what you need to be more attractive at the grocery store??
:crackup:
what a silly post...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.